Little John!

I had a message from the past yesterday; a telephone call from 'Little John,' as I know him, a friend and gay daughter I met in 1993, when I first went on the gay scene in Southampton. The last time I saw John was in 2013.

Another friend contacted me yesterday morning, after seeing John at Southampton Gay Pride. He explained that John had been trying to track me down for a while, to no avail. The circumstances in which Darrell and I left Southampton were sudden and very few people, apart from those close, knew where we were headed.

John  phoned me yesterday afternoon and we had a chat for half an hour. Sadly Johns Mother had passed away, after a fatal accident; he was left alone to deal with the dreadful circumstances and had been trying to find me for some help, a shoulder to cry on and support; sadly I had left the country. 

Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard and I feel terrible for not being there. It is difficult living on the other side of the continent, but I hope to be there as much as I can now and return to the UK later in the year to spend some time with him, no matter how short that time is.

Like many of us celebrating our sexuality at such a devastating time, during the early 1990s, John  experienced more than his share of issues, to deal with, like us all, but despite the difficulties he is still with us, as so many others are gone. John was just seventeen when he entered life on a rather destructive gay scene and he survived in the only way he could. I have many fond memories, spending time with him and indeed his Mother.

I remember one occasion; we had arranged an after club party, at 'The Mansion,' as we often did, returning from the Magnum Club in Southampton on a Saturday night. This was the house, a group of us lived and partied in, all gay, all looking out for each other. Little John was there was his friend Nikki and his Mother. To be honest it had been a long night and I lost my rag with the three of them, throwing them all out at stupid O'clock in the morning. As John stormed out of the room, I remember him shouting:
'How dare you throw out my Mother, she's wearing a Harrods dress,' followed by '....and Nikki, the Lady Mayoresses daughter,' Nikki was indeed the Lady Mayoresses daughter. John has a way with words, spoken with grandiloquent flamboyance, pretentious as ever. It still makes my laugh today, even as I write this entry! Just one amusing memory from challenging times, growing up gay. John will always have a special place in my heart; there are very few of us left from that period, living on Southampton's bitchy gay scene!

​One hopes to at least have John back in my life, even though the distance between us, is vast. I will try and be there as much as I can and look forward to seeing him in the future. Glad to have you back John!

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