Full Circle - Farewell to Mollie and Wildling!

Stressed would be an understatement; I haven't stopped worrying about this move; needless to say, my blood pressure is sky high. What many people don't understand is we have been here before. I have moved abroad on two separate occasions, returning to the UK each time. The reality of our situation is, we will both be turning up, very much in the same way we did in 1995 and 1998. I don't enjoy moving around like this, far from it, I am a homebody as a rule and not the Worlds best traveller. However, I am a lot older than 24 years old now, when I first set foot on foreign soil; I am strongly of the view, that I will appreciate it a lot more than I once did.

In 2015 we left the UK, for a new life in Gran Alacant; this was a move that caused a massive amount of anxiety and stress for both of us. We had lived in Britain for over twenty years and it was hard saying goodbye to a country we loved; well I loved far more than Darrell if I am honest. Although Darrell settled in to British life well, he never fully enjoyed his experience, especially living in such a cold climate. Coming to Spain was getting away from difficult times, a stop gap if you like, before moving on again at some stage; neither of us believed it would be so soon after moving here.

As readers of this blog know, a series of unfortunate events have together made us realise, that we have to return home sooner rather than later. Darrell's Mother is suffering from cancer and is not in a great way at the moment; we think it's only right and fair to be with her at this distressing time. Darrell is an only child; his Mother is very much on her own. Once again we are both going through testing times; we need to not only restart our life, but also begin again, without a thing in the World. This is a radical clearing out; we will be left with just memories; not a bad thing, we don't need to have so much baggage!

The last few days have been brutally testing, throwing away precious items; mainly mine it has to be said; that have been carried around with me for many years.  We have argued more than ever, become angry over the slightest hicup and feel emotionally drained, I have moved around so much in my lifetime, I really just want to settle down finally.

I have been busy selling what objects I can on the 'Buy and Sell Gran Alacant' facebook page. Thankfully I have managed to offload quite a few. This is a much easier task, than it was, living in Southampton, I don't have the same level of emotional attachment to things now. The only things that are important are photographs and memories; we both need to move forwards, far away from the places we used to call home. For most people Expat life is a dream, for us it is born from a nightmare and will hopefully be our saving grace; if not we move on again!. 

I wanted to say a particular thank you to Rob, Pam from Zests husband, who has been round today helping me clear items and purchasing some for himself. I think he was amazed by the amount of stuff we still have; if he had seen us in Southampton before we came here, he would have been in shock. As I sit here typing away, looking around this emptying room, I am still amazed at the stuff I still have left; I really was a collector in every sense of the word. Today is the start of something new; something that doesn't involve collecting and weighing myself down....Actually it is quite liberating throwing everything away. Today all my my suits, ties and dress shirts headed to the bin; I'm certainly not going to need them anymore!

4 April 2018

Today we said farewell to Mollie and Wildling, the two kittens we fostered last year. This was another hard decision we had to make, for the advancement of all of those concerned. When you decide to make such a large move, you have to assess what to do with everything you had in your life; pets are also a priority; we had to weigh up what was best for these two little characters, who had become such a force for good. On the day our cat Precious died a year ago, when I had to make the terrible decision to put her to sleep, I also had to let our latest editions go, not to kitty heaven, but to a new home with friends in Murcia.

Kayleigh, a lady I used to work with at the Princess Astorias School in Elche and her husband Neil agreed to take these two gorgeous cats on. This was a life line for both of us. We were going to take them to the UK and let them stay with a friend Melissa in Hythe, but soon realised how impractical this course of action would be. We don't have a lot of money and sadly the cost of the journey across Europe was rapidly spiraling. It would have cost at least 1000€ to get them over the channel, money we just don't have.

Of course ideally we would have loved to have taken both Mollie and Wildling with us, but at a cost of 2000€ we didn't have a hope in hell of doing it. In the end we did what we had to do, to keep these kittens together. They are brother and sister and need one another. If Kayleigh couldn't have taken them both, we would have done our best to resettle them with Melissa in Britain.

I would personally like to thank Melissa for her kind offer of a home; I know the cats would have been happy there. In another life we would have done what we could. There is nothing normal about our current situation, just as there wasn't three years ago; once again the decision we made had to be about practicality as well as doing the right thing. A big thank you to Kayleigh and family for giving Mollie and Wildling the new start they need. 

I am going to miss both these kittens terribly. We had all bonded as a family. Mollie would insist on coming into the bathroom with me every morning, playing with the water in the bath with her paws, even sat on my knee, while I tried to soak. Mollie was the feisty one, who was never afraid of anything, a true spirited girl. Wildling was far more reserved and really rather loving, headbutting my legs from the moment I got out of bed in the morning. He had a high pitched squeal and would often sit on his box by the window chattering to himself.

They were inseperable; Mollie suckling on Wildling's neck constantly; taken away from their Mother far too young. I know they will grow into a pair of gorgeous cats, but am feeling sad that I am unable to see it happen. They both came into our life at a very upsetting time. Having lost our first cat Precious a few months before, our older rescue cat Lily was gravely ill; she died a few months after Mollie and Wildling came to us. If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have got over what happened; they were the light that shined brightly, when Lily's flame went out. We never thought we would love another animal again when she died, but on the day we let them go, we were very much smitten!

5 April 2018

I had a terrible nights sleep last night, thinking constantly about our two feline friends. Both Darrell and I feel so guilty about what we have done. We have never given away a pet in our life together. We are feeling particularly down, after forming a close bond with Mollie and Wildling and the reality is, it has put us off having anymore animals in the future. They didn't ask to be given away and loved unconditionally, as all animals do. They were a big part of our life and have left a void, large enough to fill a cattery. Wounds do heal in time; but with the difficulties of our current situation, we are mindful it isn't going to be a quick process.

Big hugs to you both, Darrell and I will always miss you. I hope you both have a happy and fulfilled life, as I know you will with Kayleigh; I couldn't think of a better Mum!

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