Community, Upbringing and Antisocial Behaviour Part II - Respect and the Modern Age!

Is it just me, am I the only one who is shocked by the way people talk to one another these days? After speaking with a colleague yesterday, it was clear that the behaviour of some people just gets worse and worse. As someone who has worked in shops for a large part of my life, I am well aware of the way some customers can liaise with staff. I am not saying for one minute, that all shoppers are bad, in the same way I am not saying all shop workers are good, but it is clear that the way we all treat one another in 2019, is far removed from the sense of respect I had instilled in me for others, as a child.

There has been a massive shift in the way people interact with one another. The caring, benevolent, charitable nature that I was brought up to adhere to, are now the actions of a bygone era. I am disappointed to be living in an age, where manners, dignity and respect for those around me count for nothing. As an individual I was taught to hold doors open for other people, male or female, yet today I am told that goes against the spirit of equality. If I saw an older person trying to cross the road, I was always encouraged to help them traverse, without hindrance. Today I could be considered a threat, mugger or opportunist, trying to swipe their purse. When having a heated debate or discussion, I was always urged to allow my opponent an equal amount of time to question my views. Today I would probably be knocked to the floor, or even stabbed with a knife. The sad fact is, Britain today, is not a nice place to live.

I have never understood why it is so wrong to show appreciation and compassion towards another human being. There are many people I disagree with in this World, but I would never dream of publicly humiliating them or destroying their personality in front of other people, that goes against what I believe and is the mark of a dark soul, someone who is bitter and unwilling to admit their own shortcomings. In truth I have known many people like this, both in the UK and when I lived in Spain. These are the people I tend to avoid today, though I am grateful they were in my life, even for a short time; they taught me much about the worst side of human nature and reinforced my views to be a kind, accommodating and sympathetic person.

The other day, someone I have only known a short while, remarked on my ability to keep calm under fire. They were surprised at how much I kept my cool, when being attacked, for being who I am. I have often had to contend with abuse from discriminatory factions within the community in which I live. I have been called every word under the sun, kicked, punched and verbally abused, just for being gay, so I am well used to dealing with such behaviour. If I was to retaliate in a similar unwarranted way, that would make me no better than them. I do have a voice, but choose how to channel my words, without directly hurting someone else. I have experienced bullying, abuse, ill-treatment and persecution, but that has only served to make me a stronger person, with the knowledge to carry me through life.

The society that I grew up in during the 1970s was a very different place, to the one I live in today. Family, friends and neighbours were always on hand to do their bit to help anyone who needed it. My own Mother for example, would walk to an old peoples home, not far from where we lived and coiffeur the hair of local occupants who were unable to get to a hairdresser. I would sit in Collingwood House, as a young boy being Mothered by all the residents, plied with sweets and patted on the head. Even then at a very young age, I was taught to help, carry shopping and hold someone’s hand as they walked to their flat. I enjoyed being around people and always wanted to assist in anyway I could, even if it wasn’t always needed!

Society did change in the 1980s, the World became a less accepting place. When Margaret Thatcher famously declared, that there was ‘no such thing as society,’ she wasn’t wrong. Whether or not she was responsible for the destruction of common values and beliefs is rather contentious, but she did represent a point in time, when standards of moral behaviour began to erode. Today all of us have at least witnessed some unspeakable conduct, so much so, we have become desensitised, oblivious to its real impact on peoples lives. Walking down any high street in any town or city, you become quickly aware of the unthoughtful way we treat each other, barging past a frail old lady, knocking her to the floor, swearing at a child who got in your way or signalling your displeasure at a motorist who drove to close to the pavement. Everyone seems angry, rushing to their destination and avoiding the normal courtesies, that were fostered in most of us when we were growing up.

The dismantling of altruism and a movement away from decency and selflessness is a fact of life in the modern age. I will continue to act appropriately, always sticking to what I trust to be right, as I believe we all should. The way I conduct myself today, is an indicator for the future; holding ones head high, while all around is crashing down is a mark of ones character. Keeping ones composure while others fall apart, retaining a sense of order and accountability, accepting everyone for who they are, while others belittle and beguile, in the misguided belief they are right, are values I will never surrender. I believe in equal opportunities for all, respecting the views and opinions of friends and foes alike but never compromising on my own principles in pursuit of self gain!

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