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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Charlatan or Confidant - Part V

7/10/2016

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​Reliving events that brought us to spain - Mayhem and mischief

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Mine and Penny's friendship grows ever closer, as I gain her trust. This was a period of revelation, after revelation.  Penny admits that she wasn't a shop person and was 'sent to me'.  She was far too over qualified to be doing the job I was.

Finally Penny admits that bullying was taking place, within the organisation she loved.  Darrell is removed from work, like myself, through illness, brought about my mismanagement at the highest level.

For the first time, I mention the word Sociopath; after speaking to helplines, explaining what was going on, I am informed of the seriousness of my situation.

Formal complaints are raised against my Manager, who promptly involves other Managers, through bullying and further intimidation.

Penny's husband's true identity is revealed, after she encourages me to use him in a psychologist capacity, to help me through such a traumatic period.

Finally Penny reveals I will take over from her job, in an unknown capacity, after disclosing Oxfam will cherry pick her as a Union Representative. Completely illegal and against everything Oxfam stands for!

​Quite a few days!
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​'mayhem and mischief'

 
Penny's words are in light green script, mine are in dark blue!  These are online messages, sent in real time, so the grammar, punctuation, will not be perfect!  I have used single capital letters to keep the names of those involved confidential! I have also highlighted important sentences in red!

17/06/2015

Myself and D are a little worried. We do not like the conclusions we have come to. Please read. Do not judge, this all sounds nuts! Senario: Veronica was removed under PH's region to ours for whatever reasons. V has issues of revenge and is sabotaging our region. To cover her self and claim others are responsible, maybe even P, she is using her position as a serial mom type character to get info on those taken in by her charms. She plays on others fears. She knew my biggest fear was loosing my family, yet she told me to get rid. I did so, against D's wishes. I believed in her advice. She felt like more of a family at that time then my own. When D was attacked, she offered a shoulder to cry on. It is D's biggest fear. Part of this campaign by H and S is the sexual inuendo. In March 2015 D told V, about me being so depressed, due to a reference at the beginning of my career. L has always believed it halted his career before it started. V said, Oxfam never do things like that. She said the records would no longer be there, although it has in our opinion tarnished my career. She said she would look into it and see what she could do. D said that The woman who made the allegations was a terrible bully and was drunk when she wrote it. D cried and cried on the phone. Within a week, I had experienced bullying for the first time ever since joining Oxfam from a colleague who was a long term friend. R knew that woman like me and saw what I went through at the time. This is just too much for me to understand and it would be laughed out of any grievance, but these events are true and after reading various publications on line, I believe they are fact. I don't believe myself and D are safe and have fears for our safety. Who told V I had made a grievance, It is thus far untrue. Currently we are both feeling battered and used. The more we delve, the more we uncover. All of us in the southampton area have friendships that could be seen as close. I don't believe that is a coincidence. I may have to either speak to the Police or take action to remove our statements if I believe we are now in danger! I need to know if this could be true!

What did the text v sent say? It could well be B has informed her of a pending complaint. Think logically; the day after the complaint is made, D received the outcome of his meeting with Lisa. I honestly do not believe that she would physically cause you harm. If anything I believe she's panicking; I believe she unskilled/untrained to resolve issues like this. With P back as her manager, I believe again she is panicking. X

We are going to withdraw Penny. We either need the truth or we are out. This psychotic behaviour is dangerous. We both don't deserve this. I feel liked we have been played.

I don't believe B would play either of you x

I believe she was moved to our area for a reason. Spoke to a helpline, they said this could happen and to be extremely careful. Ensure your safety. Thus far we have been given no assuranced.

What did D's union say?

No evidence. The more we search the more we find psychotic behaviour, our lives at risk and no firm evidence. We could never submit such claims, they would be laughed out and she would win

So what do you think will happen if D withdrawers his complaint? He really needs to speak to B and ask for support surrounding this. I am also mindful that his complaint because it a safe guarding issue; may go ahead regardless. When a complaint of this nature is reported, B would have a duty if care to resolve it

*bear in mind D reported the "booby trapped" stock room to the police

Are the thoughts i wrote earlier possible? I have never heard such stuff. There is more, it is just getting too bad. What the hell have we been left to deal with. Believe me i am of sound mind, which is why I am scared. People know stuff. We need support and guidance not the ability to be fall guys! x

Firstly I suggest you send your report to B. Chase up your union. Then with D he needs to chase his union. I honestly don't know if D can retract his complaint; due to the safe guarding nature, and the fact the police have been contacts and are involved. I myself don't believe you are in physical danger; from oxfam, namely v. What did her text to you say? X

Do u believe what I have found out? You layed your reputation on the line. U said our backs were covered..why?

I believe that you are concerned; I believe that you are both extremely and quite justifiably stressed with the whole issue. I believe that you have not had the right support. I believe v is unable to provide this support. I believe she has allowed this situation to escalate to this extent. I still and will always support you on this. There have been massive issues of mismanagement that need to be addressed. I believe she was moved to this area; as she had conflict with her old manager. He is now her manager again; and the behaviour she is displaying is a result if panic and inexperience in people management skills. I honestly do not believe that she will cause physical harm to either of you. But I do believe if the issues both of you have raised; if withdrawn now; your reputation and time at Oxfam would become almost unbearable xx

Your backs are covered; as the complaint of bullying and mis-management are truthful! xx

We have been abused and violated. I need to speak to an independent person who can unravel this trail of hate ASAP!

Yes you do! This is why I keep asking have you spoken to your union? Have you lodged your complaint? Without doing this; nothing will be resolved x You need to appoint an advocate on your behalf ASAP x

We have lodged complaint, but there is no evidence. They would not believe this as we are trying not too. The internet suggests this kind of thing, but this is just explosive. 

your rights are fully protected! X Can you send me a copy of her text message to you? X Plus as it currently stands; you are both signed off from work. D is now signed off with work related stress! X You are off; so she should NOT of contacted you with any work related issues! Full stop! X Basic mistake! Clearly a sign of a manager that's panicking! She knows that x

I need to say that after a spell in hospital, she did not do my review. She said she would do it for me I agreed. D's review was cancelled because it was the same day as my college keep assessment. H keeps claiming his mother is a mental health practicioner at college keep...Nuts eah...Ill forward text x

she is not panicing she is psychotic and all avenues covered

B will erupt when she finds out! But to ensure it's not kept within the organisation and swept under the carpet; your union needs to see record it! X

Am i seeing the truth. I just need to know. I am so disgusted by all this. It is sick! x

she hasn't though! That's the thing; she's make classic management errors! To contact you regarding a complaint D has made???? Surely you can see she is fishing for info? She knows she has messed up! Surely the fact that she hasn't contacted me, tells you 
something? She will know I'm his advocate! X

You said u could read people. I believe u. U have seen stuff that is not normal. I wish someone would help us. Will send text hang on x You and D have made allegations which will be dealt with separately by myself as your line manager and H R. My advise would be to concentrate on your health and getting better. Shall we meet on Friday 26th? V

Think logically! I'm mindful of your well being! This is stressing you so much! Be rational... 1. Why has she not asked, suggested an advocate? 2. A formal complaint is not dealt with the person the complaint has been made against ! 3. Why has she not contacted myself? Or D? 4. You are still signed off sick, why do you need to meet with her? Why has she not offered clarity on what the context of your meeting will be? Think logically! What does her text tell you? X

Ps. I will add B needs to see this text! X You are currently signed off with a bipolar episode; why on earth would your line manager send you communication that will cause you harm distress and a possible relapse?? X

D is upset texting B, They will look at all this info and just not believe us. I need to see a lawyer i believe x

You need to involve your union! ASAP they will offer representation that Oxfam have to adhere to and recognise x
Again I keep saying this; think logically, v will not/ can not investigate a complaint that has been made against her! X

Just let D phone u a minute. He is a good soul he needs to tell u something important, could be what u need

Cool x 

We have been lied to and left to fend for ourselves. No better than those who destroyed us. We give up and withdraw. 

​When a sociopath feels the need to defend their public persona from being exposed as fake, their strategy (i.e., offensive-revenge) is usually to destroy their victim’s character, turning them into an outcast, which in extreme cases, could lead to severe depression and even suicide. So a sociopath may not commit the violence themselves — especially if it would be geographically inconvenient — though they may lay down such an onslaught of heinous acts against their victim, that they could fully intend to drive that person to the person’s limit. They literally can destroy a person’s life, without a single night of lost sleep. They truly have no remorse, no guilt … if they believe it needs to get done, it’s just business.

I should have been told. Why the hell not?

I am still keeping Oxfams rep in tact. This would be too damaging for them I know that, but i am owed explanations. This is a nightmare difficult to recover from!

I believe you only came into my life at a point when Oxfam discovered her status. You were there to give advice. Thank you for being there in the end. We both have no where to turn now. You said you would help, well help me now before I collapse. x

Hi sweet. I'm ok now. Just had to cry. I'll never understand all this, but I understand that one bad person does not make an organisation. I miss Oxfam so much, I just don't know if I can return. Thank you for being there I will get my statement done asap. I just need a little rest..x 


25/06/2015

Just to let u know a joint complaint has gone to V from JG, D and H re: cascade x

That's brilliant news!!!! I shall go down and speak to Dave tomorrow. I know he is not happy with it. X Ps must add; so proud to see you out and about yday! Well done; I know that took a massive amount of courage to do that. xx

Thanks. Good friends helped on that one. Complaint has gone to v, worried about that. She has asked J G for a meeting on 30th, he does not know why! x

And to add; yday was so surreal; v called to drop off racks that should of been with me 2 yrs ago! She was a cat on hot bricks! Spent about an hour talking to my volunteers?????? X Mmmm? That's a strange one? Has she said what it's for? X

No, he is a bit worried...x

Think some one; is running scared! X

How should he handle it? x

J hasn't done anything wrong, so he has no reason to be concerned. But if it was me I'd ask what it is in relation too. X I'd be cautious and professional, don't allow her to have any reason to discredit him. X

Told him in public in shop. JG has been complaining all the time. V may have had enough x

She should not be referring to anything that is not related to his shop! X

OK i'll tell him. SF seeing him friday x

Yes I think she most definitely is a woman running scared; lies and deceit always catch up with you in the end! Xx Brilliant news you are meeting with S. Again do not be fearful; you have done absolutely nothing wrong! It is your manager that is under investigation, not you xx

Cascade is at breaking point no one is getting anything. Stuff going missing. Part of reason I was safeguarding stock. Also H having to deliver stuff herself cus of situation...x I feel ok today. JG was here last night. He's really helping. I know u don't trust him. I have too atm...x

Is H putting in for travel to deliver stock? She should do really, it will support her claim. It will also go further up it will be noted! Xx If JG is helping you and you trust him; that's fine. Just be careful as to what you disclose to him. I'm concerned as he is young, angry, and could be easily manipulated by V xxx

I believe so. Think H is close to breaking. She is so upset. So sad...x

Does she know I'm in contact with both of you? I may phone her on Friday xx

No, not said a thing. Please ring her, she needs help. She is a good person. Feel for her! x

I will do. This is all so wrong; how does one individual manage to destroy so many people?? It's shameful xx

I know. It is all beyond me. JG will handle V ok. He has loads of stuff to give to S! x

He may need support from both of you though? I'm concerned as he is so young and he is angry; that he may display a "knee jerk" reaction to her. Make sure he stays calm and professional though. X

I will tell him. Could he ask anyone for advice? x

As to what he should say? Who has he spoken to so far? and in which capacity was it in? X

To no one. He is playing dumb with V. He knows what is going on with us and he is keeping everything in writing with V. Managers are phoning him with complaints and he is doing a good job dealing with it...x He is doing what I did when I was at work. Seems people are scared to talk to v themselves! x

Firstly I'd get him too ask as to what the meeting is for? He could say...... Hi V, just a quick note/call etc.. Can you let me know what the meeting is about on Friday? Trying to organise cover so we are not disturbed. xx

ok x

Has he spoken to L? It may be worth a phone call to her? X

Ok, I will mention it! x

Again, all these managers saying the same thing! Looking for support and guidance; what do they get? Nothing! X

I know. JG said she rarely talks to him now and H constantly abusing him...awful times!

It is awful times, but this is the fault of the area manager, not the shop managers! X

I know. If i was there I would be blasting her to hell. Hate the woman! x

I'm actually extremely proud of our area. Our managers have really stood strong and together to stop this woman! It really does show; how caring, supportive, inclusive and empowering we are as a team of managers! xx

Most thanx to you....You have helped me so much. Very grateful! x

It also sends out a message loud and clear too head office! We will look after our own in the South! Don't mess with us! We are the face of Oxfam! This is what we do, oh and by the way.... We are damned good at it! xx

S is lovely too. So calming. Great guy! x

I was sent to you! X

Sent to me? x

He has said he will always be here for you. Just give me a shout and he will help! X

Was the Nan stuff true? x

Yes you! Remember our first conversation?? Time is all you need, truth will always protect you! X

Of course! x

Yes of course it was; how would I of known? Why on earth would I ever say something that wasn't true? Once this is past, and you are well enough. I will teach you so many other things. At the moment you are not well enough to be able to focus. But you will always be protected; with truth and the love that people have for you. xx

Next time you meet with S, ask him what it's like living with me? Ask him how spiritual I am, what I see, hear, feel and know! X

I'm not bad, I have had bad times, been a bastard at times, but my life has just spiraled downwoods. It is so debilitating at times...x As D said, it always happens to us..a curse i guess! x

I know you are not a bad person. You have endured some pretty damn heinous events through your life. People have come into your life and abused your trust on many occasions. They have almost broken you at times! Yet you still continue to love, trust, care and support people. Why would you do any of that if you were a bad person? Yes we can all be contrite at times, we are humans! It happens to you both, because you are open loving people; you expect everyone you meet will be the same. Sadly they aren't. When you are well, I will teach you too read people; so you can protect yourself! xxx

​With Steve's help, he will teach you different self help technics. You now have your own phycologist! Your health won't fail you as it did before. You need to be honest and open with him. He will help you do a wrap. If you do feel as if you are becoming unwell, you need to tell me. I will out him on the phone or send him over or you can come to us. What ever we need to do, we will. I can not stand by and watch you suffer, nor will he. xx

I actually feel stronger today. Learning to trust again is the key If JG lets me down i will be devastated. He did much to protect us from bad people and always fights our corner. He was not there through my relapse, because in his words he could not see me hurting anymore. His ex bf, used to have bp and it nearly destroyed JG. he said he learnt to protect himself by becomming cold and heartless. He used to be week but he learnt, but lost his emotions. I have to believe that is true. his anger is about his family. i cant say but it is shocking....x

Hence why all I keep seeing is his anger! Well that's quite reassuring to know I'm not off track with sight! You have a gift; called "gut reaction" listen to it! It's never wrong. If you feel from the bottom of your gut, that he is supporting you, then let him in. The red I see with JG is his anger, the green is learning! My concern is/was I could see such a deep red aura, which to me; shows a great depth of deep seated anger and loathing. But as you  explained; his issues with his family are quite shocking, that would explain it. But it will do him harm in the end... He needs to let go if it, he needs to remember he is not responsible for the actions of others, only his own. xx

Ps.. You feel stronger today, because you are stronger! I showed S your photos and said that you'd been out and about. He was extremely impressed! Not any easy feat to impress a grumpy scot! But when I said well done to him; I was promptly corrected and was told; that actually the hard work was done by Luke not me! x

We all have issues in life, when I heard about his, It put my life into perspective. He used to call me pops, and it was kinda nice, we fell out. When we made up I made him never say it again. I just want family and a sense of belonging. D and i have no family now and I miss what it bought. He gives me that at times when I need it. I worry about his anger atm, but he will always do want he wants . Gotta have faith! x

You do have family; not in the literal sense. Families are diverse; you have such close friends, some of which are young enough to be your children. Others which are old enough to be cousins and siblings. Families are not always defined by birth or blood lines. Families are people that have seen us at our worst and at our best; that still support and stand by us regardless! You both have family, you both are blessed with the gift of your chosen family. If JG calls you "pops" it's because he regards you as a father figure; his chosen father figure. That's an honour. There's a baby coming into your lives soon, do you not think, that she will look to you both as family? Because that's what you will be. Your parents and brother have made their decision clear, but that's a blessing nit a burden. Why? What do they really have to offer you? Love, support and guidance? Or is the hardest part that they only offer disapproval? Does it matter? Does it define you? No none of it does. Why? Look around you, look at the live support guidance and approval your chosen family give you with unconditional limits and expectations. xxx

Ps... I first told you; and still stand by what I said then, as I do now. You are loved so deeply! You truly are a blessed man! X

Mmm...Don't feel it right now. Loved ones always get hurt, as we have all our lives! x

Look to H; imagine how isolated she feels right now? Do you feel that isolated? There is soooooo much I need/want to teach you, when you are well! Your life is transforming, as you are! Reflect back over the past 10 days. What do you see? In reality you should of had a full blown episode. You didn't ask yourself why? Too me; when I look at you, I see rebirth, potential, opportunities not yet grasped! Your life is just beginning! Do you honestly believe if I was "talking nonsense" is of brought my partner of 12 years to your home? Do you not think if I was being anything other than truthful, I may of been "rumbled"? I know you understand all if this.... In time when all this nonsense with our area manager has been resolved, you will be ready and well enough to grow/develop/learn. Luke I know you trust me; of which I'm honoured; but you trust me for a reason! Not a written word, not a spoken word, but a reason that you can't explain! You just know I know and that in it's self is enough! xxx

In short..... I'm in your lives right now, because I'm meant to be! I don't know if I will still be as active in your lives in 5 years 10 years??? But what I do know is right here right now... I'm meant to be here with you. Yes I know that; that will make "perfect sense" x

I just don't know why. I believe your ties to Oxfam extend beyond Manager. I believe the trust they have in you is through your abilities to read people. I believe, as you have said before, they regard your advice and I believe you may well have been looking out for this area for a while. You are a truly remarkable Lady and I just hope Oxfam Values that! x

Do you really think so? X That is the most humbling compliment I have ever received! xxx

I do yes. Trust is important. They obviously trust you grately. I do believe whatever has happened, you were there when it mattered. You and your partner are both psychologists why would you be working as a Manager. you would be wasted! x

There is a reason I'm with oxfam! They know it I know it! I'm not a "retail" person. As I'm sure you've gathered by now. I used to be my partners boss. (I still am of course! x ) but it was in a professional capacity. I've endured nonsense in my life, but in the end I'm actually grateful for it! I hate with am absolute passion unjust, mistreatment etc... Oxfam gave me an opportunity, so I feel a loyalty to them and the people, (managers in my area) to respect what Oxfam represents! I am over qualified to work as a shop manager; yes that is true. But I am also humble, honest, and truthful to what the organisation represents. Not on a global scale as such; but more too the fact I can empower and change peoples lives on the front line. In my mindset; yes it may be shot! But I think the "greatest" gift you can ever bestow upon anyone is too empower them! It's quite ironic really and very humbling, I add! That the 1-21 that are now recognised within the organisation as an integral part of managing people; is something I discussed and had already implemented with S 8 years ago; are now recognised and used as common practice. So in short if I left tomorrow, I know I've left a legacy that will benefit so many people I will never meet. For which I am truly "humble, grateful, empowered, and feel self worth" for doing so. xxx

Penny, you may well have saved my life, certainly my relationship, and given me back something I lost years ago. The ability to see through the haze of my life and focus on what was going on around me. I was so blind for so long. I am vulnerable, but I am also able to be strong when needed. I will not be a victim, I will be strong enough to stop this nasty bahaviour. I have seen good people destroyed and used. I am shocked by it all, but you kinda showed me, luckily I believed and trusted in you, but something told me too. I truly can say, you may well be responsible for a change in me, that will last. Much love for that x

I'm humbled that you "feel" the love, trust and integrity that I am trying to give you. I; and I know you feel it; if that's the right phrase; am here right now to empower you! I would never harm or hurt you in any sense. It's not within me; you will grow from this. I know/feel you will! In time I sense you will "replace me" within our area! It's within you! I know you understand that fully! xxx Thank you for letting me in! It's an "honour!" Xx

Ps.... I will add!; you my dear sweet friend; are/ will not be a victim! You are a survivor battle scars are you badge of honour! Wear them with absolute pride! xxx

I have no power or ability to replace anyone, least of all someone like yourself. I'm just someone with bipolar, who got shafted, in a way I never expected. I love you for your cripticness, makes me think...x

Shut up! You do! You can't see it yet! But I know there's a sensation you have been having! Reflect; look how you are supporting H! Now tell me it's not within you ! Some would call it ; their "calling" It's me for goodness sake! You can't/won't pull the wool over my eyes! Xx

I just like people. I believe in people and their abilities. Propbably because I am so fucked up. My career at oxfam is over, but then i hope vs is as well. Willing sacrafice...Oxfam will never keep me on after all this, x Nobody ever believed in me except D, I just wanted to change that and believe in others. I just love people, maybe cus I got very little love myself. God that sounds so trite but true! x H dedicated her life to Oxfam. A true battler as well. Look at her now. Bless her, fighting still...x

No it's sounds "honest and humble" Your career at oxfam is not over! Why would you think that? S did say too me, what was the post I'd gone for? I explained and he laughed! He did say; do you honestly believe someone like her, would let you loose training and empowering her managers, do you think she would give YOU that role?" The same applies to you! I totally believe in you; for what it's worth! If you look at it, from a different respective, why would I "stake" so much? Because you underneath all the miss-treatment are an exceedingly brilliant manager! That's why! Xx

Goodness me! If I told you about my life so far! It would seem greater than contrite! Would I change any of it??? No! It's defined me as to whom I am today! As it has you x

My life has been horrendous, from Day one   I just wish I had been given more guidance at the beginning. I always wanted to be a teacher, but could never find the right subject. Helping others with problems would be my dream. x

Phone me! I feel a double disclosure session coming on! Xx

Will ask you though t Bloody phone! I do ask you to Google **** though! You will understand where I come from. Xxx

Thank you x

What for??? Trusting you ? No thanks are required! I know you fully understand me now! xxxxx

I haven't had much trust in my life. My hope had nearly gone. I still can't quite believe it atm. Still paranoia. .x

I understand that fully! But; your an honest person! You are going to fill my shoes within our area when you are able too! Our area needs you! Xxxxx

I had an email. Cheered me up... I'll send

And! My point is!!!!! :))) xxxx

I miss my volunteers! X

They are and always will be there for you! X

Your plight? What about leaving oxfam..x

Mmmmm! Did you grass me up to B by any chance??? Just had her on the phone too me! Telling me to become a union rep! So she can take me bus the HR route???? X

No, too scared to talk to anyone. Me bus the hr route...lol...What ya mean! x

B has just been on the phone to me! Stressing I become a unite representative then if needs be I can to my cidf qualification! Adamant I don't "leave" the organisation! ? x

Ah...Then she thinks a lot of you. You have no reason to leave. You know that! x

I know! I had no plans on leaving! But feel a tad penned in! ? xx

why? you are doing what u love. Think of those you have helped and who need help in future! x

I know! But also I think/see your progression! You will step in too my size 4n a half's in no time! xx

I need to make a decision first. I love Oxfam, but no other job has put me through this. x

But tbh! No other job has been oxfam! I can honestly say, I'd never of stayed in this mayhem and mischief if it hadn't of been oxfam! X Ps.... Will add oxfam are everywhere! How the heck did B know I was uncertain as to what my future held within the organisation??? X

D has said he is worried for my welfare. Not sure it's best to go back after such a bad time. He is just concerned. Trust again I guess! x

D needs to focus upon his own needs ! You are covered! I had a long conversation with B this afty??!?!? Where the hell that came from I'm uncertain! Both of you will be okay! I promise you that! Xxx

Look at it from my point of view. It sounds so outlandish. What other organisation would deal with things like this.. I am not u. I admire you and would aspire to be u. I just wish i could see an answer! x

Ok; look at it from another prospective! I'm so fortunate to work with people/colleges like you! Xx Ps B has said she would support me via a union rep' then she will cherry pick me off, when I'm ready. But I won't be ready to leave until you are well enough to fill my shoes xx B told me to speak to MM?? She does the bulletin; she is awaiting my contact! Wtf??!? Some one has spoken in my behalf? X

Is this normal practice? Yesterday I felt damaged by V today I feel different and tomorrow different again. It is an emotional ride and I am confused. I trust you, but its all so up and down! x

Be mindful though! I'm not going anywhere until you are well I can't! It's just the way it is xx It is up and down, you are bipolar! It's a "roller-coaster" but I get that! You know I get that! There are people coming into your life; and those that have always been there I add! That get that ! The only difference this time; is you really are not alone! Xx

I know. But I am nothing. I am not special. Trust is so hard, I don't want to be here again x

Actually I should rephrase that!!! You are Luke, a loving caring intelligent individual, that has a condition called bipolar! X Just stop that! You are not "special"!!! You are! Look what you've over come! You've stared dispair, isolation, depression in the face! You've beat those bad arse demons! You are Luke! You are special! X Ps that's a capital X I add!

I don't quite get it yet! x

Because you are the face of oxfam x

I'm scared of veronica, big time! x If veronica had a bad childhood and abuse, I'm not sure I want her to suffer any more, despite everything. I don't know what would happen to her. She was so nice once. I would love to do what you do, but how many more veronicas are there. x
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What was all that about?  Penny had gone from a work colleague, to someone who worked for Oxfam, but not in the capacity I knew.  She was also a Psychologist, too over qualified for the job she was in.  She used to be her husbands boss.  In time she would be cherry picked as a Union Rep for Oxfam.  One of the reasons I will never believe in Unions again.  In time I will fill her shoes. 

As I look back at this now, it all looks like utter nonsense, made up in the mind of a Sociopath, who are known for their lies and deceit.  What I don't yet understand, is why?  Sociopaths play games;  it is likely she was one, along with our mutual Manager.  Myself and others, were just pawns in their trials and tribulations.  Cryptic, rambling and waffling, all marks of someone, telling a story, telling a lie and covering their tracks!

​Or is it?
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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