Celebrations!

We've had a few days of celebration at my Aunts house in Portsmouth this week. On Saturday Darrell and I celebrated our 23rd Anniversary, a milestone in anyone's  book, especially in this day and age.

We are lucky enough to be in the same country this year, before Darrell leaves for Australia next Wednesday. Events were kept rather low key, with our long term friend Chris arriving to spend a few days with us. The days of massive parties are well and truly over; spending quality time with friends and family is most certainly the way forward for us at least. I spent the entire day working at the supermarket and the Newcome Arms on a busy day, so Darrell and Chris met me there later in the evening, sharing a beer or two and meeting those who work and use this traditional Portsmouth pub!

Yesterday my little Cousin Cain celebrated his 1st Birthday; on the same evening my Aunty Trisha threw a party for her 59th Birthday, inviting family and friends over for a packed evening of music, chat, dancing and food. This was the first time Darrell was able to meet everyone I have grown close to; he seemed to enjoy time spent talking with everyone who came and used the party as a platform to make his final farewells, before he leaves next week.

I want to end this entry today by saying a word or two about family. When I look back three years ago, when I started blogging, I had no contact with family at all. My relationship with those closest had broken down for a number of reasons and I was very much making my own way in life, with my partner Darrell. We both believed we would not have any communication with my parents again and lived in relative solitude, at least where our kinfolk were concerned.

Of course as we know now, events in our life transpired to change our whole outlook on the World, including our relationship with parents and others in our extended network. Time abroad living in Spain taught me much about relationships. I was drawn back to my parents because of adverse times and illness, finally realising just how important they were.

When Darrell and I took the decision to move abroad, we mistakenly believed running away from our rather war torn and battered life was the only option, finally forgetting the difficulties of the past. As we both know now, this was not an answer, this was just a sticking plaster masking deeper problems, that would likely resurface in the future. Spain did at least offer us both the opportunity to think and reflect about our chosen path and I rapidly came to the conclusion that Britain was my home and I wanted to be back there, with the people that mattered.

I have always been close to my Aunty Trisha, even when we had little or no contact; we are very similar people, made from the same mould. She was a wild child, who found it difficult to conform to 'normal' life, just as I have, preferring to spend my time, enjoying life to the max. Trisha was the first person I asked for help when I realised I had to get out of Spain and she was happy to do what she could, offering me a place to live, while Darrell and I dealt with issues of family, illness and confronting the bullies in our midst. Without my Aunts help and support my life would probably be in a far worse state than it is currently.

As I rebuild my life here in the UK living with family, while Darrell embarks on his own personal journey to care for his ailing Mother, I am content staying with the one member of my family who really understands me. My life hasn't been a bed of roses, with everything handed to me on a plate; I have had to graft for what little I have left, just like my wayward Aunt. This is what makes us close, this is what makes us understand each other and this is what pushes us forward in life.

Whatever has happened in your life, however bad it was, don't push away the very people who can and will help you. Without close family bonds, we loose the ability to connect with our past, present and future, in a way that reflects our true self. Families are important because they offer an insight into our forebears that would otherwise exist without meaning; a life without meaning, is no life at all!

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