Building a Healthy Future - 5 years of progress!

My Weight Loss Journey - October 2021 - April 2023!

Returning from Spain in 2018, I had the opportunity to rebuild my life, in a way I had never done before. With Darrell remaining in Gran Alacant, I could start to live healthily, and begin repairing the damage caused by years of neglect. Step one, after 34 years, I decided to finally give up smoking. I was feeling physically sick every morning, and coughing my guts up for the first few hours of the day, which was a worrying sign and not something I wanted to continue. The time had finally come to chuck the cigarettes in the bin.

Anyone who smokes, does so for their own personal reasons. I started at school, so I could avoid PE, a subject I detested. Rather than kicking a ball around a pitch in the freezing cold, I dodged games and sat alone just outside the school gates puffing away on a fag. To be honest no one back then really cared, and the fact I could just walk into the local newsagents in Valentines Close and buy a packet of 10 JPS, without anyone so much as batting an eyelid, meant I could quietly smoke to my heart's content. Physical Education was pretty traumatic for me, I hated it, in every respect. I was the chubby kid, no one wanted to pick to join a team and the thought of playing football, cricket or rounders with a group of alpha male teenage boys was horrifying. Anxiety made me reach for the cigarettes all those years ago, and it was also instrumental in making me give up in 2018.

When you are feeling unwell, every day, you know it’s time to change your life. Starting a new journey, in Portsmouth, meant I could finally close a chapter on my past. With willpower and determination, I was able to kick the habit. There was no vape, no patches, pills or hypnosis and except for a couple of slip ups early on, I was, and still am, finally free of nicotine; this was an amazing achievement for me, not least because of my previous militant smoking credentials.

Of course, giving up cigarettes does have many downsides; I started to pile on the pounds more than ever. Instead of reaching for a cigarette when I was stressed, I started to snack – sweets, chocolate, pies, pastries, in fact anything I could get hold of. With Darrell still in Gran Alacant, my anxiety levels were soaring and with little or no support from anyone else, I really could have done with a smoke, but I resisted and continued to strive towards the end goal; with every day that passed, it got easier and easier. Eventually I didn’t give cigarettes a second thought, but my eating was out of control and by 2021, I was so overweight it was effecting my health.

It was an effort to get out of bed every morning. My back and hips were painful, my legs hurt more than when I went to bed, and my feet were throbbing and burning. Walking up and down stairs was an effort, and my fifteen-minute walk to work felt like a 26-mile marathon. I was the most unfit I had ever been, and my circumstances were making the situation worse.

Deep down I was extremely unhappy in Portsmouth, although I never tended to show it. In truth, I had never liked the city, even though I adored the people; I felt trapped every day and there was nothing I could do to change it. As much as I would have loved to speak to someone about the pain I was feeling, I just couldn’t; no one would listen. I can't thank my family enough for giving me a roof over my head when I needed it most, but they were not the most empathetic bunch of characters. I found solace in food, because it was the easy way out, and it helped me deal with the low mood I was feeling every day.

My work colleagues were the ones that got me through the next few years, as I began to distance myself from the bad influences in my life and spend most of the time alone. When the pandemic took hold in the UK, it was the perfect opportunity to change every aspect of my being, and I started to walk at least 5 km a day. Darrell was trapped thousands of miles away in Australia, but alone with my thoughts, I began making plans for the future, and those plans began with keeping fit and losing weight.

In October 2021 I weighed more or less a hundred kilos, I was at the Doctors every week and was in bad shape both physically and mentally. The GP did what she could to help, but I had to change my lifestyle, if I was going to feel well again. My circumstances were deeply depressing and were just making the ailments I suffered with worse. The decision to lose weight was born from anxiety, stress and a desire to feel good again. I wanted to walk without pain, eat without overeating, and begin to restore the life I once had.

Changing what you eat isn’t easy, I had tried many diets in the past, and failed spectacularly every time. I wanted it to be different this time, and went on a strict calorie controlled diet, meticulously watching everything I ate. Unlike previous attempts to lose weight, this time I would eat anything I wanted, in moderation of course, and would keep one day a week free to indulge in the finest things in life. This was the way I achieved my goal; for six days a week I did everything by the book and on day seven I would let go and enjoy myself, eating and drinking whatever I wanted. So far it has worked well and a year and a half later I am down to 72kg, after shedding a quarter of my body weight

Today I am in a good place and still looking after myself well. I walk at least, 10000 steps a day, and continue to follow a healthy eating regime. I have adjusted my diet plan to take account of my new weight, and I am not as strict as I was before. Having learnt to regulate my food intake, today I eat to live, not live to eat. My weight has finally levelled out, and I am quietly confident I will remain committed to this new life I am following. For me, the pandemic was positive in many respects. Initially I was scared into losing weight, because of the complications of Covid, but as time went on I started to enjoy the new freedoms weight loss brings, and today I am finally happy with myself and the road I am on. Only time will tell if my hard work pays off, but until then, I will continue to strive for a fitter, healthier life; it’s certainly been a long time coming!

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