Another Year Older!

Yesterday I reached another milestone, the gran old age of 47; not the happiest time of year for me; however Birthday's are an inevitable part of life. To be honest, as soon as I reached the age of 30, I never really enjoyed Birthdays as much as I used to. When I look at facebook and other social media, I am a little jealous, observing friends and family enjoying themselves, as they celebrate the day they were born, but I remain a realist; A Birthday celebration just equates to being another year older and that much closer to death. Gosh, that does sound a little miserable doesn't it, but it's the way I feel. In my humble opinion I have very little to celebrate and just want the 9th May to pass by quickly, without fanfare!

Of course that wasn't always the way. I have had some fantastic Birthdays in the past, always in fancy dress, surrounded by wonderful friends and family, something I don't necessarily have over here. I do miss the UK, specifically for the people I left behind, they were always a great source of inspiration, especially at times when one was feeling low, anxious or a little run down. Sadly in Spain we don't have the same support network and we have been very much on our own since moving here. I suppose as I have got older, I have realised I need certain individuals in my life and am reaching out to those I regard as important more and more.

I miss being surrounded by people; we used to have lots of friends coming and going all the time. Our house was always full to the rafters, there was never a moments peace, but looking back on those days now, I thoroughly enjoyed the company. Believe it or not, I am not the anti social old man I have become, I am actually a people person, who enjoys the closeness of others. My life has become somewhat lifeless, for want of a better word.

Of course, part of the problem is me, without a doubt, but having to live a hand to mouth existence has also taken its toll. In truth I have never really had the resources to live the life I want in Spain. I don't think I have struggled this much EVER. When I look at the youngsters round here, out every night, drinking and partying, I am a bit jealous, but then something drags me back to reality and I just continue living the frugal life I have. Someone did say to me the other day, that it was about time I lived a more sustainable lifestyle anyway and I tend to agree. As a race of people we are all far too wasteful and I have had a lot of growing up to do.

For now both our lives are far better in Spain than they were in the UK, despite the hurdles we have to cross. As a couple we have always managed to navigate the problems of a difficult relationship, rarely apart in twenty three years. We have of course come close to living separately, but at least now we are able to remain together as a couple, which hasn't always been the case. The more we have struggled in life, the more we have fought....WE HAVEN'T LOST A BATTLE YET!

My 47th Birthday has given me much to think about; I have been in reflective mood, recalling Birthday's past, people, family and the life I once had. I have also been looking forward to the future and understand we live in difficult times; only we can make things happen, it's up to us to change, because the World isn't going to adjust for us. With your support and words of encouragement, we will always come out on top! Thank you to everyone for all your Birthday messages, they have most certainly put a smile on my face!

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