A few words about 'Love!'

My thoughts
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Now this is a topic I have never tackled before, and probable never will again; Love! This is not my strongest of emotions, but after the last few weeks, people watching, observing the mating habits of others and generally thinking 'Whatever love is', as HRH The Prince of Wales once said, I thought I would at least try and tackle this subject.  I wait with anticipation, for the responses of others.

Let me first say, what I believe love to be, based on a few years of experience. When a person, suddenly announces on facebook, their undying love for someone they met last night, whilst on a drunken rampage in a nightclub, my eyes roll back, as I shake my head. In this social media age, it is very easy to express emotions and feelings, without thinking, what they truly mean. Love is an extremely strong sensation; I rarely utter the word, to show how I feel about someone; others are too ready to use this feeling and not in the context it was meant to be used.

I can safely say, that I do love my partner, of course I do, after twenty one years, you wouldn’t expect me to say anything less. We have been through much together, far more than others experience in a lifetime. I do remember on one occasion, the audacity, of someone, in a relationship, for the dizzying amount of time, of a month or two, daring to give me advice, about how to handle a difficult situation with my partner. To them, everything was sugar coated, hearts and flowers, nothing bad ever happened in the world. Needless to say, I went for their throat, big time. Interestingly, ten years later, after living in the real world, their views have changed somewhat. This is the point; love, feelings, growing together and views about emotions in general, do change over time.
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My views of ‘amour’ have completely changed over the years. There is something intense about the feelings one has for another, during the first few tentative months of a relationship. Actually to be honest the intensity lasted for a good few years for myself and Darrell. Someone will probably tell me now, how passionate, ardent, hot-blooded and feverish their relationship is, even after a lifetime together; well, they will be lying. Devotion does change over time, as one grows together with ones partner. Love and sex are two entirely different things, and I do feel people mistake the two at times. Just because you have a wonderful, exciting sex life, it doesn’t mean you are or ever will experience true, lasting love.

To me, love is about togetherness; that feeling of emptiness you get, when you are apart from your loved one. Love is about spending time together and not having to speak. Love is about your soul mate, best friend and lover, all rolled into one. Love is about laying in bed, listening to his or her snoring and not smothering them. Love is about not giving up, at the first sign of trouble; nothing is insurmountable and love is about growing old together, having the same feelings, laughing at the same things and knowing what each other is thinking before they say it out loud.

I am a bit of a people watcher; over the last few weeks I have seen some of the worst displays of love I have ever witnessed. Love has nothing to do with money. Myself and Darrell, have absolutely no money at all, nothing, but still love one another. Oh a few more readies would go a long way to help our current circumstances, but it will not buy a relationship. When you witness people throwing money to someone, in the hope they will accept them, you can do no more than show pity. The person handing out the cash, has a mistaken belief that the recipient they are buying, loves them, when in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. To be honest, how can you respect and have feelings for someone, who relies on their bank account to express how they feel; not great is it!

I hear all the time, from friends, how they want to be with someone, yet their partner treats them with such disrespect, sleeps behind their back and has no real value in the vows they took or the commitment they made together as partners. These are people going through the motions, out of fear of being alone, scared about the loss of security or pretending for the sake of their children. This is the break down of love, people falling out of affection for each other and continuing to keep up appearances. I am not saying one should give up on a marriage or relationship, far from it. Myself and Darrell have had many ups and downs, but we have worked to repair the damage, not pretended to be something we are not; I am a firm believer in partnership and never give up easily.

I am not a world authority on relationships. My time spent with my partner has been unconventional, not easy and full of difficult and challenging times, but I do understand the true meaning of passion. I suppose I am lucky; I have never really fallen out of love. My emotions, although very different to what they were twenty odd years ago, still remain steadfast, towards the person I met in 1995. I am not deluded about what love is, god knows I have seen many who are; I am a realist, who understands that not everything is perfect in life, nothing remains the same and above all, the affection I show someone, can not be bought.

Make sure whatever happens in your life, you are true and honest towards yourself and that of whoever you are in a relationship with. Don’t think for one minute, that relationships are easy, because they are not. Don’t give up, before you really begin and above all, if you don’t love someone, stop pretending and move on.  

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