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    Jamie!

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    So Jamie has reached the grand old age of 23.  Something that could have quite easily not happened.  Like us, Jamie went through a rough time over the last few years and his life in The UK ran its course.

    Jamie is doing fantastically well now, in every respect.  He looks healthier, although he is currently suffering with a cold, and also had an operation on his teeth, which had been painful since he arrived here in Spain.

    For the first time in a long time Jamie is eating properly, cooking for himself and finally learning the skills necessary for survival in the World.

    I think he, like us had to go through the experiences we did, in order to move forward and become a grown up independent person, who more than anything has self worth!
    Like all of us, Jamie misses home from time to time, who wouldn't, after all when you spend your whole life in one Country, you make friends and you will miss family.  I think to be honest as time progresses, it will become easier for Jamie.  One has to remember, Jamie has been away from home, for the longest period he has ever been. He is lucky to have all our support here, as well as more support from those friends and family in The UK.
    I have a lot of time for Jamie.  He has experienced much in his short life, too much.  Myself and Jamie are very similar to each other, in many ways.  We have met some of the worst people in the World, and through tough times we have stood together in order to put two fingers up to those who seek to destroy others!
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    So there we are.  Jamie is still in Spain, has offers of more work and remains happy.  He, like us will always have the good memories from Britain to cherish, a family who loves him and a home to return to, if he ever so wishes, but until then, I am sure you will agree with us, that his life is just beginning and it can only get better.

    ​A very Happy Birthday Jamie.  This will be your year!
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    Happy 23rd Birthday Jamie!

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    A very Happy Birthday to my special gay daughter Jamie Hough, who is 23 today.  At one stage I never thought Jamie would reach that grand old age!  He has come a long way over the last three months.  Jamie looks great, has put on just over a stone in weight, looks healthy and has done a fantastic job, settling into Spanish life.  I am proud he made the decision to join us in our new life in Spain, prouder still he still remains here and happy he has progressed so far, away from troubled times!

    Happy Birthday Jamie, have a wonderful day in the Spanish Sun!

    Love Gay Mum x
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    Community!

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    It was a hot day on Saturday.  Jamie had had his tooth out on Friday and for the first time feeling a lot better on Saturday morning.  I know from previous experience, the pain you have with tooth ache and the relief you finally feel when the pain goes away! Natalee and Darrell had gone to Alicante to get some shopping, so Jamie and I decided to go down to Zest for breakfast.  Pam at Zest cut up a bacon sandwich for Jamie, so it was easier for him to eat and we just sat in the sun for a few hours chatting.

    We walked up to Dunbars to meet Bret and Lee, who came up for a few drinks.  It was nice chatting with these two, as it always is.  They are a wealth of advice  and we are taking all of it on board, totally.  

    Before we moved here, we didn´t realise, just what sort of area it was.  We had never been here before and had no idea what to expect.  Gran Alacant is what you would call a large village on British standards.  There is a very large ex pat community, all over the area, which is part of Santa Pola.  There are five areas, where people go to drink and socialise, ranging from squares to  strips.  Each area feels very different and over time, you begin to fit in with what ever place suits you best.  All of us have been to each and I am at least beginning to spend the most time in the area that I prefer.
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    Everyone, knows each other, at least in the expat community.  This is something I am not used to, but actually I am finding it OK so far.  I like the feel of being included in a community, rather like the gay scene at home, only this time, a community of like minded individuals, who have left the UK, to start a new life, for whatever reasons.  The secret here, is to know just what to say to certain individuals, who to trust on a personal level and who to avoid.  Wherever you live, you wont get on with everyone,  We are all human and our tastes in friendships are all very different, as it should be.

    To be honest the only questions or comments directed towards us, are to do with names.  Of course I have a different name, as a writer, and I choose not to have my name plastered all over the net, after what happened over the last year.  That was decided through a combination of choice and legal advice.  
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    A person´s identity is important. You are born with it and it is the one thing you carry around with you forever.  When you have to loose it, through no fault of your own, through turmoil and terrible times, you do feel empty. like a part of you has gone. Depersonalisation of ones character and persona is a difficult thing to accept.  It was of course more difficult for me, because I am a writer.  I chose to have a writers name, but also keep my birth name, so those I know personally can call me my preferred name.  I do not plan on justifying my choice or reasons, nor should I, because that will cause more harm than good.

    ​This takes me back to living in a small community.  People are naturally going to ask you questions.  People move to Spain for various reasons, some dubious, some perfectly normal, others to retire, many more to work.  Humans are an inquisitive lot, but it is up to that individual to decide what or how much to tell someone, when it has nothing to do with them!
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    Those I have become close to here, know me, all of me.  Whatever you tell someone or rather some people, they will only make up their own lies and untruths anyway, start rumours and continue to make others lives difficult.  I am not saying our life in Spain has been difficult, because that would be a lie.  We have all had a great start over here. What I am trying to say, is others, have been the subject of gossip, for no other reason, than they have nothing better to do.

    Let me say, that everyone we have met have been fantastically welcome, but remember, I have never been a great judge of character.  The good ones have warned us or given us advice, as to the best course of action to take, in order to live a quiet life, so we have accepted it and are following it.  After all a lot of these people have lived here a long time and have a lot of experience.

    The good ones are not afraid to tell you to your face, the truth.  They do not stab you in the back and they also expect the same in return!
    At the moment, all of us are still trying to find our feet.  I am taking advice all the time and I know that by doing so, you can enjoy a good life in GA.  I am also a writer and express my views, so will undoubtedly gain enemies along the way. That is the story of my life.  I know who I like, who's company I enjoy and I am beginning to realise, who I can trust. After the last year, I have learned much about people and their nature, so when you are given advice freely, you really
    do have to accept it.  Accepting the words of others, not every one of course, is about forming friendships and showing them you trust them. Trust is the key!
    ​Here are a few photographs from a year ago and one from two years ago, when we lived in The UK.  This time last year was difficult, but not as difficult as it was going to get.  

    I am happier now than I have ever been and that is only thanks to the Great and Good of Gran Alacant.  The words I have written today could equally be written about any place we have ever lived!

    It´s lunch time, I´m off!
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    Updates

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    Bipolarcoaster continues to enjoy thousands of visitors, interested in the story of my last year in The UK.  This website will remain active and I hope many more people will continue to read the site and enjoy regular updates!
    Like Bipolarcoaster, Foreverenduringcycles will continue to remain  active, with regular updates.  Please keep your messages coming in, for all sites. You will be pleased to hear that I am well and no longer suffering, as I was, over the past year!
    My newest site, going from strength.  Currently the number of visitors are doubling every other day.  Spanish Views is the after story, of life in Spain, as we forge our way through, the next stage of middle age!
    The Real Truth Blogger, truthblogger2 on Twitter.  New account, please add away!
    The Bare Naked Truth Blogger, palmreadingpoof on Twitter!
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    Judge of Character!

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    You either are or you aren't. Being a good judge of character or not, is very much dependent on life experience.  None of us are born to be a good judge, we can only learn over time, through life.  Personally I am one of the worst judge of characters, I have ever known.  I have always been that way!  My trouble is, I think and react with my heart.  If you pull at my heart strings in some way, then chances are I will fall for it. Over the last year of my life, before I came to Spain, I was tested to the limit where people were concerned.  Not only was I fooled into believing people were good when they were not, but I believed in the worst people, again and again.  Fooled. hook, line and sinker!
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    The worst of people are great at being the best of people, they learn from the good and mimic their ways, in order to obtain something from their victims.  This past year I have known so many people of a dubious nature, simply because I judged their character wrong.  Luckily, today none of them are left, they are all gone and removed from my life, they had to be!

    Since moving to spain, the true colours of some of these people has shone through, even sending messages to me, admitting what or who they really were.  I guess they just wanted to shock me further, rub my nose in it or maybe, just maybe they had a twinge of guilt, which is highly doubtful.  Whatever their reasons, it didn't effect me, at least, at all.  I had already gathered who were the good and who were the bad a long time ago.  Even then, after what we went through, it didn't surprise or phase me, because my views of people have changed dramatically in recent times, as you would expect!
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    My trusting nature and giving ways have now gone.  Personally I think that is a bad think, because it made me who I am.  I have always been a giver, but through knowledge, life skills and understanding of human nature, I can no longer be that person.  I was forever giving people second chances, accepting their excuses and inviting them back in my life.  This time it is very different.

    These so called friends were instrumental in isolating me, at a time when I needed people there.  They cast accusations upon those, who now I luckily speak to again. They called them all the names, I now know them to be.  They are rotten to the core and in time others will also find out the truth about them.  They have to, because if they don´t, then they will also become victims, that's if they are not already!
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    It wasn't until I moved to Spain that I realised just what good, decent people were. People have gone out of their way to help us, rather like I did for others in the past.  It is of course hard accepting help, especially when you are so untrusting, but it has been very welcome and reciprocated when I am able.  I have spoken to a few close friends out here about various different incidents and all of them have been brutally honest.  In fact you may be surprised to know, that I am not alone, where my circumstances is concerned.

    This time I am taking advice and listening to the right people, who can guide me in the correct direction.  I have never listened before, so this is a first for me.  In fact, I have avoided certain individuals here, because of advice from others and I knew quite quickly, their advice was right.

    To all those I would love to name and shame and probably will, when the time is right, I am happy living in my new home, with new people, friends and colleagues.  They are streets above you in every respect.  I would like to thank you for finally revealing your true selves and now I can move forward, without the likes of you in my life. 

    To those who we lost contact with and have now rekindled friendships, you are most welcome at our new home any time!

    Peace and love always!
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    Divorce!

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    Sometimes it is necessary to end a relationship. Friendships end, marriages falter and Unions must be broken.  A fresh start, a new path and a different direction, can make for a better future!
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    ​Luke M Jones  15 April 2016