Community!

It was a hot day on Saturday.  Jamie had had his tooth out on Friday and for the first time feeling a lot better on Saturday morning.  I know from previous experience, the pain you have with tooth ache and the relief you finally feel when the pain goes away! Natalee and Darrell had gone to Alicante to get some shopping, so Jamie and I decided to go down to Zest for breakfast.  Pam at Zest cut up a bacon sandwich for Jamie, so it was easier for him to eat and we just sat in the sun for a few hours chatting.

We walked up to Dunbars to meet Bret and Lee, who came up for a few drinks.  It was nice chatting with these two, as it always is.  They are a wealth of advice  and we are taking all of it on board, totally.  

Before we moved here, we didn´t realise, just what sort of area it was.  We had never been here before and had no idea what to expect.  Gran Alacant is what you would call a large village on British standards.  There is a very large ex pat community, all over the area, which is part of Santa Pola.  There are five areas, where people go to drink and socialise, ranging from squares to  strips.  Each area feels very different and over time, you begin to fit in with what ever place suits you best.  All of us have been to each and I am at least beginning to spend the most time in the area that I prefer.

Everyone, knows each other, at least in the expat community.  This is something I am not used to, but actually I am finding it OK so far.  I like the feel of being included in a community, rather like the gay scene at home, only this time, a community of like minded individuals, who have left the UK, to start a new life, for whatever reasons.  The secret here, is to know just what to say to certain individuals, who to trust on a personal level and who to avoid.  Wherever you live, you wont get on with everyone,  We are all human and our tastes in friendships are all very different, as it should be.

To be honest the only questions or comments directed towards us, are to do with names.  Of course I have a different name, as a writer, and I choose not to have my name plastered all over the net, after what happened over the last year.  That was decided through a combination of choice and legal advice.  

A person´s identity is important. You are born with it and it is the one thing you carry around with you forever.  When you have to loose it, through no fault of your own, through turmoil and terrible times, you do feel empty. like a part of you has gone. Depersonalisation of ones character and persona is a difficult thing to accept.  It was of course more difficult for me, because I am a writer.  I chose to have a writers name, but also keep my birth name, so those I know personally can call me my preferred name.  I do not plan on justifying my choice or reasons, nor should I, because that will cause more harm than good.

​This takes me back to living in a small community.  People are naturally going to ask you questions.  People move to Spain for various reasons, some dubious, some perfectly normal, others to retire, many more to work.  Humans are an inquisitive lot, but it is up to that individual to decide what or how much to tell someone, when it has nothing to do with them!

Those I have become close to here, know me, all of me.  Whatever you tell someone or rather some people, they will only make up their own lies and untruths anyway, start rumours and continue to make others lives difficult.  I am not saying our life in Spain has been difficult, because that would be a lie.  We have all had a great start over here. What I am trying to say, is others, have been the subject of gossip, for no other reason, than they have nothing better to do.

Let me say, that everyone we have met have been fantastically welcome, but remember, I have never been a great judge of character.  The good ones have warned us or given us advice, as to the best course of action to take, in order to live a quiet life, so we have accepted it and are following it.  After all a lot of these people have lived here a long time and have a lot of experience.

The good ones are not afraid to tell you to your face, the truth.  They do not stab you in the back and they also expect the same in return!