Darren Light - Roaming Brit Blog

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Published on

August 2, 2015

Verruca On Romance!

29 December 2017

I first started writing about Verruca Almond, in my fist blog Bipolarcoaster. Verruca was a parody of my then boss Vera Lynham; the woman responsible for bullying, harassment, homophobia, lies and attacks against myself, my partner and other good members of staff. I created Verruca as a tool to offload my frustration and anger at the time and it worked. I decided to resurrect her in 'Spanish Views,' because of popular demand. Readers of Bipolarcoaster wanted to know what happened to her and what kind of relationship, I have with her now. Back in 2015, I refused to mention my boss by name, for fear of retaliation; today it doesn't matter anymore. I have rebuilt my life, away from Vera and her sociopathic behaviour, keeping Verruca as a reminder of the woman who tried to destroy my life; a comic caricature that captures the very essence of who Vera really is!

This was the second parody, entitled 'Verruca on Romance,' initially written on 2 August 2015. Today on 29 December 2017, I am including it in my latest blog 'Spanish Views,' so readers can understand a little more of who this woman is and how she came to be!

I do shudder when I read these old blog entries. My writing then was very different to now, as I'm sure you will see, when reading this second delve into the life of Verruca Almond!

2 August 2015

'romance is for the weak!'

This Sunday, Verruca arrived a little later than usual; apparently she had locked herself out of her flat in the early hours. On Saturday night she had picked up a guy, who she had met on a dating site; It is important to always use ones own photographs on sites like that, beauty setting is acceptable, though, when you are as glamorous as she, it isn't necessary!

To be honest Verruca could throw on a bin bag, and still look a like a crisp £20.00 note. Disheveled and a little warn, she was oozing sexual prowess. There was something different about her; she was a bit Sassy, a little Minx like. Admittedly, she had forgotten her NHS tabard, so was wearing her normal clothes, but, there was something more than that. She was indeed my carer by day, but I had a feeling, by night, there was another side of Verruca, I knew nothing about!

As a Middle aged spinster, Verruca is a wealth of knowledge; she has been around a bit in her time. As a carer, she is NHS through and through; she knows how the system works and her twenty minutes of care, on each visit is invaluable to people like me, who's only link to the outside World is a laptop and copy of Take a Break.

Bed bath, medication and dinner made, Verruca and I sat down for our usual ten minute chat. Quickly talk moved on to the subject of romance; not sure why, I suppose the lack of uniform and her date the previous day, triggered thoughts of love, romance and relationships. As it turns out Verruca's opinion of matters of the heart, were a little different to I had imagined.

'I've never been romantic. Romance is for losers. Only the weak buy flowers'.

There, that told me!

Ms Almond was living life to the full; let down by man after man, she had become the author of her own destiny; Seen dancing the nights away in many of Southampton's, less than perfect nightclubs, dressed to impress. One night stands, a quickie here and there, bin sex and an imagination running wild!

As I looked at her, I felt sorry for the woman she had become. Why had Verruca turned into this bitter person? What had turned her against love? After all she had so much to offer and give others. So I asked her the question, I asked her why? What had turned her against the love of another?

It turns out that she had dedicated her life to her career. She spent a period, pretending to herself and others, that she had a partner, even going into local shops, buying underwear and other manly items. It sounded a bit 'Miss Havisham', to me. I had visions of her sat there in a torn, ripped up Wedding dress, crying gently into a garter given to her, by someone close no longer with us.

'I have a career, a mission in life, a goal to achieve. Long ago, I fixated on the finality of another; Someone weak; Much weaker that I and someone who was a threat to me. NOBODY gets the better of me now, I am the finest carer, the World has ever known. NO ONE will ever take that away!'

For a moment, just a moment, I thought I saw a tear well up in Miss Almonds eye. It was so brief, I could have been very much mistaken. Something had clearly happened to Verruca in the past and she had been terribly damaged from it.

Gently. I placed my hand upon hers, reassurance, everything would be OK. Quickly, without a thought, she took her hand away; her eyes were like fire. I literally thought she was going to kill me. Then in an instant, there was calm; a wry smile, pursed her lips!

'Don't ever touch me again; don't pretend to know me, you don't. I am the carer, you are the cared for; that is where it ends!'

Blimey, she was as mad as hell. A bit later I peeped around, the door, while she was making my Eggs Benedict, to my horror, I saw her spit on the food, throw her head back and laugh uncontrollably in silence. Her past was catching up with her and she was a melting pot of anger; in a strange way, it made me feel a little bit turned on. We were getting closer and closer and there was nothing I could do about it!

SHE WAS BLOODY MARVELLOUS, WHEN SHE WAS ANGRY. SHE SENT TINGLES UP MY SPINE!
Published on

August 2, 2015

Verruca on Romance!

Carer verruca-almond Verruca's World

'romance is for the weak!'

This Sunday, Verruca arrived a little later than usual; apparently she had locked herself out of her flat in the early hours. On Saturday night she had picked up a guy, who she had met on a dating site; It is important to always use ones own photographs on sites like that, beauty setting is acceptable, though, when you are as glamorous as she, it isn't necessary!

To be honest Verruca could throw on a bin bag, and still look a like a crisp £20.00 note. Disheveled and a little warn, she was oozing sexual prowess. There was something different about her; she was a bit Sassy, a little Minx like. Admittedly, she had forgotten her NHS tabard, so was wearing her normal clothes, but, there was something more than that. She was indeed my carer by day, but I had a feeling, by night, there was another side of Verruca, I knew nothing about!

As a Middle aged spinster, Verruca is a wealth of knowledge; she has been around a bit in her time. As a carer, she is NHS through and through; she knows how the system works and her twenty minutes of care, on each visit is invaluable to people like me, who's only link to the outside World is a laptop and copy of Take a Break.

Bed bath, medication and dinner made, Verruca and I sat down for our usual ten minute chat. Quickly talk moved on to the subject of romance; not sure why, I suppose the lack of uniform and her date the previous day, triggered thoughts of love, romance and relationships. As it turns out Verruca's opinion of matters of the heart, were a little different to I had imagined.

'I've never been romantic. Romance is for losers. Only the weak buy flowers'.

There, that told me!

Ms Almond was living life to the full; let down by man after man, she had become the author of her own destiny; Seen dancing the nights away in many of Southampton's, less than perfect nightclubs, dressed to impress. One night stands, a quickie here and there, bin sex and an imagination running wild!

As I looked at her, I felt sorry for the woman she had become. Why had Verruca turned into this bitter person? What had turned her against love? After all she had so much to offer and give others. So I asked her the question, I asked her why? What had turned her against the love of another?

It turns out that she had dedicated her life to her career. She spent a period, pretending to herself and others, that she had a partner, even going into local shops, buying underwear and other manly items. It sounded a bit 'Miss Havisham', to me. I had visions of her sat there in a torn, ripped up Wedding dress, crying gently into a garter given to her, by someone close no longer with us.

'I have a career, a mission in life, a goal to achieve. Long ago, I fixated on the finality of another; Someone weak; Much weaker that I and someone who was a threat to me. NOBODY gets the better of me now, I am the finest carer, the World has ever known. NO ONE will ever take that away!'

For a moment, just a moment, I thought I saw a tear well up in Miss Almonds eye. It was so brief, I could have been very much mistaken. Something had clearly happened to Verruca in the past and she had been terribly damaged from it.

Gently. I placed my hand upon hers, reassurance, everything would be OK. Quickly, without a thought, she took her hand away; her eyes were like fire. I literally thought she was going to kill me. Then in an instant, there was calm; a wry smile, pursed her lips!

'Don't ever touch me again; don't pretend to know me, you don't. I am the carer, you are the cared for; that is where it ends!'

Blimey, she was as mad as hell. A bit later I peeped around, the door, while she was making my Eggs Benedict, to my horror, I saw her spit on the food, throw her head back and laugh uncontrollably in silence. Her past was catching up with her and she was a melting pot of anger; in a strange way, it made me feel a little bit turned on. We were getting closer and closer and there was nothing I could do about it!

SHE WAS BLOODY MARVELLOUS, WHEN SHE WAS ANGRY. SHE SENT TINGLES UP MY SPINE!
Published on

July 20, 2015

Verruca Almond!

28 December 2017

I first started writing about Verruca Almond, in my fist blog Bipolarcoaster. Verruca was a parody of my then boss Vera Lynham; the woman responsible for bullying, harassment, homophobia, lies and attacks against myself, my partner and other good members of staff. I created Verruca as a tool to offload my frustration and anger at the time and it worked. I decided to resurrect her in 'Spanish Views,' because of popular demand. Readers of Bipolarcoaster wanted to know what happened to her and what kind of relationship, I have with her now. Back in 2015, I refused to mention my boss by name, for fear of retaliation; today it doesn't matter anymore. I have rebuilt my life, away from Vera and her sociopathic behaviour, keeping Verruca as a reminder of the woman who tried to destroy my life; a comic caricature that captures the very essence of who Vera really was!

This was the first parody, entitled 'Verruca Almond,' initially written on 20 July 2015. Today on 28 December 2017, I am including it in my latest blog 'Spanish Views,' so readers can understand a little more of who this woman is and how she came to be!

I do shudder when I read these old blog entries. My writing then was very different to now, as I'm sure you will see, when reading this first delve into the life of Verruca Almond!

20 July 2015

Let me introduce you to Verruca Almond; Ms Almond as she prefers! Verruca has been sent to me, like a Fairy Godmother, to help me get through the hard times. A carer, jailer, confidante, personal shopper and teacher of wise and wonderful things; things I never knew; small tips to get me through each struggling day and planner of futures; at the moment my future. Who know's it could be yours next!

Finally The NHS has recognised the seriousness of my situation. In their wisdom, they have sent me someone with vision, experience and a person who can recognise Bipolar in all its forms.

This weekend Verruca taught me how to lick knives successfully; she caught me running a blade along my lips on Saturday night. Horrified, she showed me the way to do it safely, with most impact. A moistened knife can be a godsend in many survival scenarios. For everyday kitchen use, a lubed up utensil will always make light work, of even the hardest task; cutting meat from the bone, is done with ease. I was a little more concerned with the psychotic way, she sliced her way through, but understood she had a past, so accepted her odd ways. To be honest, as this is a 'Truthful' blog, I even got a little excited!

Verruca is taking me for a walk around town next week. Her tips for such an extensive expedition are things we should all know when we set off to the local shop on the corner. Rehydration is a must; if one falls in a Biffa bin, when hiding from the Police, alcoholic beverage, or otherwise is essential. It will get one through the night and could even save your life!

Her breast storage/cocktail cabinet was genius. Like Verruca, I often fall over, flat on my face in a ditch or gutter; it isn't unusual!

'A bottle in the bra, saves embarrassment and scar.'

A little ditty, I'll remember in future; almost poetic. Said with aggressive, chav like tones, to get the message across.

I admired her fashion sense; yes, designer, stunning and beautiful, but also practical and hardy. A towel round the waist to protect her dignity, offers easy access to Paramedics, during those low points in ones life and a blankey to protect naked revelers who fall down drains or collapse in doorways on a Saturday night. One should always take them to a 'SAFE' place, normally her house, the room next to the toilet, second door on the right.

Her dark glasses should help with migraine and reduce others pain when looking at her sad 'I want to kill you' eyes. Detection also becomes harder and thus saves even the worst murderers reputation, when Crimewatch hits the screens!

Finally, her fine ginger locks; useful storage of sharp items, used to protect a Lady alone at night. Importantly she told me how it had saved her life. At her lowest point, she, like me decided to take her own life. She stood by Northam Bridge, leant over, and jumped; as a point of interest, wear knickers, it will save embarrassment when The Daily Echo prints its salacious story. Anyway she fell forwards, regretted her actions immediately, luckily getting her locks wound round the railings on top of the bridge. She hung there for days, eventually cut down by a clipper, but thanked the Lord, for her safe return,

So this is Verruca. Everyone should have one. In her case, most already have!
Published on

July 20, 2015

Verruca Almond!

Carer verruca-almond

Let me introduce you to Verruca Almond; Ms Almond as she prefers! Verruca has been sent to me, like a Fairy Godmother, to help me get through the hard times. A carer, jailer, confidante, personal shopper and teacher of wise and wonderful things; things I never knew; small tips to get me through each struggling day and planner of futures; at the moment my future. Who know's it could be yours next!

Finally The NHS has recognised the seriousness of my situation. In their wisdom, they have sent me someone with vision, experience and a person who can recognise Bipolar in all its forms.

This weekend Verruca taught me how to lick knives successfully; she caught me running a blade along my lips on Saturday night. Horrified, she showed me the way to do it safely, with most impact. A moistened knife can be a godsend in many survival scenarios. For everyday kitchen use, a lubed up utensil will always make light work, of even the hardest task; cutting meat from the bone, is done with ease. I was a little more concerned with the psychotic way, she sliced her way through, but understood she had a past, so accepted her odd ways. To be honest, as this is a 'Truthful' blog, I even got a little excited!

Verruca is taking me for a walk around town next week. Her tips for such an extensive expedition are things we should all know when we set off to the local shop on the corner. Rehydration is a must; if one falls in a Biffa bin, when hiding from the Police, alcoholic beverage, or otherwise is essential. It will get one through the night and could even save your life!

Her breast storage/cocktail cabinet was genius. Like Verruca, I often fall over, flat on my face in a ditch or gutter; it isn't unusual!

'A bottle in the bra, saves embarrassment and scar.'

A little ditty, I'll remember in future; almost poetic. Said with aggressive, chav like tones, to get the message across.

I admired her fashion sense; yes, designer, stunning and beautiful, but also practical and hardy. A towel round the waist to protect her dignity, offers easy access to Paramedics, during those low points in ones life and a blankey to protect naked revelers who fall down drains or collapse in doorways on a Saturday night. One should always take them to a 'SAFE' place, normally her house, the room next to the toilet, second door on the right.

Her dark glasses should help with migraine and reduce others pain when looking at her sad 'I want to kill you' eyes. Detection also becomes harder and thus saves even the worst murderers reputation, when Crimewatch hits the screens!

Finally, her fine ginger locks; useful storage of sharp items, used to protect a Lady alone at night. Importantly she told me how it had saved her life. At her lowest point, she, like me decided to take her own life. She stood by Northam Bridge, leant over, and jumped; as a point of interest, wear knickers, it will save embarrassment when The Daily Echo prints its salacious story. Anyway she fell forwards, regretted her actions immediately, luckily getting her locks wound round the railings on top of the bridge. She hung there for days, eventually cut down by a clipper, but thanked the Lord, for her safe return,

So this is Verruca. Everyone should have one. In her case, most already have!
Published on

May 12, 2015

Assumptions!

I wasn't going to write anything in this blog today, but after speaking with Darrell, will do so!

Last night, Darrell read my blog, the one about him in particular. He was concerned that people could read something into the words that did not mean what they thought. I have said I write the truth, as I have done throughout the whole of this blog. There is nothing I would take back, amend or change. The meaning is for me. I do not wish to mention people's names, that would not be the right thing to do. It is a subtle reminder for me, at times when my judgement may be skewed by other people, or indeed the person or people I am writing about. It is about learning from one's mistakes and moving forward.

I have been on this Southampton scene for years, probably about twenty-five in total. I have met many people. There are a few I am still friends with, but in all honesty, the vast majority move on, or as we are again doing, they are removed from our life. They have to be, for our own well-being and to allow us to move forward. We haven't survived together for twenty years by accepting everyone and considering everyone as lifetime friends, for reasons very clear. They are written throughout this blog.

Let me first say, that the people in our life currently are just what we need, want and am very happy with, thank you. All friendships have their up's and down's, but essentially, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with any of the people we associate with.

This weekend we saw some 'old friends', people we had not seen for a while. It made me very happy to have them at my Birthday. It also made me realise, what they had been through as well as the genuine nature of their visit. All of us had experienced hell as well as happy times together in the past. Sadly when you do get hurt, it takes a while to realise, not everyone is that way. I think we all discovered that. I have also met some new and honest people, who have been more than generous with their openness of spirit and respectful nature. I am always happy to meet new faces, I will always be wary, but equally ready to accept!

My words over the weekend refer to an individual, but as stated, I am not going to mention them by name. It is not fair on them or those around them. The clue is in the length of time I have been about in Southampton. Sadly I have seen people turn into a shadow of their former self. Their self belief, whilst admirable, is also based on delusion and lies.

At this time, I do not need people who are madder than myself. That would be a ridiculous thing to have around me. I am on a path of recovery, not the road to ruin. I know that close relationships with some people are out of the question for my own health, this is one of them. I suppose, by recognising the insane nature of conversations, and the confused statements of half-truths and added in romantic views of situations that were nothing but, has made me realise I am not as mad, as some people like to make out!

I have to recognise when people are no longer good for me. In the past I would have a deluded view, that I could help everyone, I can't. Some people are beyond help. Darrell and my self have a duty to keep bad influences away. Oddly we learnt that from two friends in particular, one who stayed with us for a short while and the other who reminds me of 'Matron' in those seventies Carry On films. Both kept the wolves from the door at a crucial time! We have to think of us and the next twenty years and hopefully beyond. We would make a huge mistake, if we allowed demented feet to become comfortable under our table. The consequences of such misguided acceptance would signal the end for us!

Read what I say. Don't make assumptions, jump to the wrong conclusions and claim to be the person I am talking about, unless you know. In all honesty, if I felt this strongly about someone, they would already know, or there would be an ongoing avoidance strategy.
Published on

May 11, 2015

Empowerment!

When you work for a Charity, you really do understand the meaning of the word EMPOWERMENT. It becomes a part of your every day language, and you refer to it often, in any number of different scenarios; it is used as commonly as 'the' and 'that.' I have always been proud to work for a charity that prides itself on empowering others, allowing them to go as far as they are able, without prejudice and victimisation. It is not until you suffer that perceived indignity yourself, that you finally, without reservation, understand what it really means.

To empower anyone, is to have belief in them, no matter who they are, despite any disability they may have. Their skin colour or sexuality they were assigned at birth, play no detrimental role in the equal opportunities and rights, they deserve; this allows them to be the person they truly want to be. It is a strong, open, positive and nurturing word; it is a contract and argument, a resolution and an open invitation, to do your best, for yourself and those who may need a little more help and understanding!

Throughout my life I have seen many different people bullied, harassed, victimised or treated with contempt, for no other reason, than they are different, unique or judged unsuitable. Because of my illness, I am covered by The Disability Discrimination Act; that was a shocker for me. I had technically become disabled overnight, and I didn't like it much! It's alright to label someone else, but when that label falls across your shoulders, you just don't want to accept it!

So I read the Act, disassociated myself from it and looked at it from someone else's perspective, with a physical disability. Yes you have certain rights, but above all it empowers those who suffer from Mental or Physical illness, the power to achieve everything they wish for; there are no barriers to success! Suddenly I had become the volunteer with a challenging chronic illness, experiencing their first day in their new job. I encountered pitfalls and a few minor issues, nothing that could not be sorted. The inbuilt protection in the Act, allowed me to safely negotiate my way around my new work place and have an enjoyable, informative first day!

That's what the Act offered me, my first day all over again. Mental illness has the same obstacles to success as Physical illness; I know that now. I would fight for the rights of all minorities, as I did with Stonewall in the 1990s. I would protect all of my colleagues whatever their status and above all, I would stand up for anyone I believed to be right. I support friends and colleagues and have a proven record doing so. The trouble is, others do not follow my beliefs; no matter, I will still do what is right!

Stamp out bullying, harassment, victimisation and dishonourable conduct, wherever it is. You could become disabled overnight, just like me, and you could suffer all the challenges and negativity I could have experienced. I have great employers, understanding and caring colleagues and that makes my life a little less hard.

It makes me want to fight harder and harder for those who need it. Don't ever ignore discrimination, that makes you no better than those who discriminate!

Peace and Love!