Darren Light - Roaming Brit Blog

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Published on

November 15, 2016

Christmas Countdown!

So it's that time of year again. Christmas is coming and we heading towards the end of another year.

Most people who know me, understand, just how much I love the festive season. Ever since I was a child, I have loved all things Christmas; the lights, tinsel and the giving of presents. Of course this year, things are going to be very different, for both Darrell and myself.

I haven't had a traditional Christmas for many, many years, but have always celebrated in the way I used too; that has never changed; large tree, lots of decorations, food and an open invitation to everyone.

For the last five years or so, myself and Darrell, have always invited friends over, who were either alone, or have been important throughout our life over the previous year. The last people we had over for Christmas dinner, was my Deputy Manager and her son, whilst working for Oxfam. It was a wonderful day, the last normal Christmas I had, before leaving for Spain!

So this year, Christmas is going to be very different, to those I have had in the past. Darrell will be spending the day with his family in Australia, for the first time in 21 years. A family Christmas is very important for him now, especially with his Mother being ill. I used to enjoy spending time with family, at this time of year, and did so for many years, but for the last ten years or so, myself and Darrell have spent it together, or with close friends. The last time I was with my parents, did not end well. Many families have arguments at Christmas, it has to be said, but for me, someone who does have Bipolar, suffering from extreme highs and lows, it is important to keep myself at a level I am comfortable with. In a confrontational situation, I will always walk away, as I did on this occasion. After this dreadful day, I vowed to never have a family Christmas again. For me the pain was just far too great, to go through it again. My Brother has a family and that is important to my parents. I am different to my him, lead a very extraordinary, contrasting life, poles apart from my family, so for the sake of peace, I have to follow my own way.

This year, I will be celebrating Christmas on my own. That will be a first for me; not something I am used too. I have been invited to Katie's and also Paul's for Christmas Day, but as is usual for me, I do not like to impose, so will not. Jamie is working all over Christmas, so I will probably spend a few hours in the bar with him and just relax for the rest of the time.

This doesn't mean I am shutting out Christmas this year, far from it; I will still be celebrating, just not surrounded by hoards of people. I have started to decorate my Casa; something Darrell used to hate. At least with him in Australia, I can fill the house with decorations if I want too, without the 'bah humbug'. There is also a lot going on in Gran Alacant; far more than I would have expected. Zest is collecting for the local orphanage, asking residents, to donate items, as presents for the children who live there. All the other bars and clubs are also collecting for similar good causes. All the restaurants are serving Christmas dinner, the lights are going up and it really is starting to feel a lot like Christmas.

Christmas in spain!

Of course, Christmas in Spain is a little bit different to that celebrated in the UK. Most people traditionally go to Midnight Mass, 'La Misa Del Galloon', or The Mass of The Rooster on the 24th December. The Christmas Dinner, that we would eat on Christmas Day, is eaten again on the 24th, before attending church. After the service, people spend time walking through the streets, singing and playing musical instruments, with flaming torches; rather like the Spanish fiestas I am now used too.

On December 28th there is a day called 'Día de los santos inocentes' The Day of Innocent Saints. It is very similar to Britain's April Fools Day. People play jokes on each other and tell silly stories.

'Nochevieja' or The Old Day; New Year's Eve, is celebrated on 31 December, in much the same way as it is anywhere else in the World. One tradition that is unique to Spain is that you eat twelve grapes, for each stroke of midnight, ushering in the New Year. This represents each month of the new coming year; grapes eaten, you are then said to be lucky!

Finally on 6 January, Epiphany is celebrated. In Spain it is called the 'Fiesta de Los tres Reyes Mages' or the Festival of The Three Magic Kings. This is the day Spanish children open their presents. Celebrating the occasion, the three Kings brought presents for Baby Jesus in Bethlehem. They write letters to 'The King' on Boxing day, leaving shoes out under the Christmas tree or on window sills to be filled with presents. In the same way we leave presents out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, it is tradition to also do the same for the King on January 5th.

Celebrations do vary slightly, across all regions of Spain, with various festivals taking place, but this is the way most Spanish people will enjoy their Christmas this year. As for me, well living in an expat community, I will probably celebrate, much in the same way as I did in the UK. The major difference will be New Year's Eve, where I hope to follow the tradition of the twelve grapes, sat in the square in Santa Pola, or at home in Sierra Mar.

My countdown to Christmas has begun; a little later than usual for me, a smaller tree, less decorations and less people, but in keeping with tradition, I will still celebrate. There are certain times of year, that can be more difficult than others, spent on ones own. Chistmas is a time, that I have many happy memories from. Undoubtedly I will have many more memories from this and many future years, but for me, Christmas Day has changed forever. Never again will I experience Christmas as I used to. There will be different people to spend time with, altered experiences, unique traditions and new memories to cherish. Change is a good thing; something to be embraced. Fear of the unknown can stop many people experiencing new a wonderful times. For me that will not happen. After moving to Spain, the hardest decision of my life, anything is now possible, including Christmas, spent in my new chosen home!

¡feliz Navidad a todos!
Published on

November 15, 2016

More about me - Music!

Below is a list of my 10 favourite songs of all time. I have a varied taste in music, which does include opera and classical. For the purpose of this entry, I have listed pop songs only.

As someone, who grew up in the 1970s, the majority of the music I have chosen, is from older decades. Like most people, when they mature, I have tended not to listen to the newest creations; personally I know very little about the music from this era.

I suppose if one looks at my top ten, one could most certainly say, I have an eclectic taste in music, a little bit camp and a lot of power ballads, which I absolutely enjoy! I am also a big fan of Country music, so there is a large influence from this genre.

When I look at my list, I am seeing a lot of Divas, powerful women with fantastic voices, spanning the decades.

Music is very important to me, especially as someone who has Bipolar. I tend to not listen to downbeat songs and prefer to hear uplifting, happy music. Music is a great healer and can lift me out of the darkest of moods!

Now living in Spain, I have also been known to listen and dance to, Flamenco music, having brought a CD, on my arrival here. Energizing, and addictive; something I intend to explore more of in the future!

Here is the list:
Published on

November 15, 2016

Litter!

Cat Watch!
Published on

November 14, 2016

Liver!

Never interrupt a man and his liver!

At least I made an attempt, to show Jamie how to cook today. Personally I love Liver, Jamie and his gag reflex, thinks differently, He did at least try some of it, but in his words, 'It tastes like rubber!' How he knows what rubber tastes like, is beyond me.

Darrell phoned whilst I was cooking. Apparently it's 37 degrees in Australia today. Personally I am more than happy with the 22 degrees we have in Spain.

I enjoyed the liver, at least! Jamie, well, he had Lasagne!
Published on

November 14, 2016

Sierra Mar!

Sunday Evening!

I love lazy Sundays. I was up at 7am, doing housework, cleaning, washing and cooking. I met Katie at 4pm and we had a wander down to Sierra Mar for a couple of afternoon drinks. After spending a few hours, sat in Zest, we popped over to Dicks for the rest of the evening. In all honesty, we don't go down to Dick Turpin's as much, as we should, so it made a pleasant change. It was great sat talking to people, getting to know more residents in Gran Alacant and passing the time of day. Both of us had a wonderful night, made all the better, by the company in the bar and Dick Turpin's perfect hosts, who like Zest, are always welcoming!
Published on

November 13, 2016

Advice when moving abroad!

Darrell, myself and Jamie arrived in Spain, in the early part of February 2016. Our journey. moving abroad, was not a conventional one, as many of my readers are aware. We had planned the move, for eight months prior to our arrival, though dreams of moving to foreign shores, were firmly planted in our psyche a few years before that. It is true to say, we had both had enough of life in Britain, many years ago. The trouble is, when you have built a career, network of friends and a home, it can become, very difficult, to move on, more importantly, move forwards. In all honesty, we had never had the bottle to just get up, pack up and get on that plane. We had built our existence, around the gay scene in Southampton, had many friends and were comfortable. We had in reality become complacent; Our dreams had died and we were stuck in a rut. When you have everything taken from you, by circumstances, you can, finally wake up and throw caution the the wind, taking that chance you always wanted to explore.

Most importantly, for us, once we had decided our destiny and future was in Spain, we were able to see past the clutter, that our life had become. We were living in a large detached house in Southampton. There were so many things, items, collections and memories, that could not possibly come with us. With the decision made, you literally have to jump in head first and deal with selling and removing everything that kept you from moving on in the past. Eighty percent of what we owned, was sold, in auction houses, car boot sales and to friends. Being ruthless was the only way we could dispose of everything, quickly, within eight months. In a situation, that demanded solutions, there was no time for sentimentality. Of course I personally would have loved more time to arrange our move to Spain, but if I had, would I have moved at all, in the first place? Probably not. We had as much time as we allowed and worked tirelessly, to make our plan of action work.

A decision was made, to move to The Costas; we had very limited knowledge, about the area, let alone the Country. We had of course done some research; no where near enough and had a very simple criteria. We wanted to be in the Valencia region, or at least near it, and there had to be access to employment. Initially we thought of going to Benidorm. Not because we like the City, but because of work. At 45 years of age, we both have a good twenty years of working life, left in us, so it was important to get a job, to pay the bills. Eventually we decided to move to an area between Torrevieja and Benidorm. The final decision to move to Gran Alacant, was literally made by putting a pin in a map. We had no idea about the area, or the people who live here, but were aware of its proximity, to large urban areas like Alicante. The likelihood of obtaining employment, living here was that much greater. Of course as we both know now, wherever you live in Spain, there are real, dramatic problems with the jobs market. We experienced many difficulties securing a future in Spain and still do, especially during this interim period when Darrell is in Australia.

As an Englishman, living as an expat, in Spain, it was important to be living somewhere, where there are English speaking people. Our dream, like many others, making the move to Europe, was to get a villa in the middle of nowhere, large, pool and lots of ground. The reality is very different; in the end we chose to live on an urbanization, not because it is cheaper, because, it isn't; It costs far more to rent a house here, than it would cost to rent a detached property in the country, but an urbanization has the community, expats like us need to forge a new life in the sun.

I have discovered that the most important aspect of moving abroad, is the people you live and work with. Spain can be a very lonely place, even here, let alone in the middle of nowhere, so communication, with like minded individuals is key to success. I would advise anyone emigrating abroad to this country, to look at the Urbs; which I agree had bad press in The UK, but could not be further, from what we were taught. This place is like a village; everyone looks out for one another, offering help as and when they can. The squares and strips in Gran Alacant are filled with expats from many countries, as well as the Spanish, offering that feeling of belonging, that I at least, haven't felt for many years, coming from a large City in The UK.

Initially, when moving, rent a property in Spain. I know many people who have brought here, unseen, just by looking on the internet. Myself and Darrell did the same thing when we bought a house in France; It was a mistake! Take time out, investigate the area; rent for a few months, explore the region, then after a year or so, you should know where you want to be. It may even take longer, depending on the person. I am happy living where I am, although for me, not being in such close proximity to neighbours would be a bonus. A little more privacy would be perfect now and something to look at in the future.

Once you have made that decision to move, make sure you investigate the laws thoroughly; things are very different. The processes involved in getting a job, buying a car, obtaining residency, registering on the padron/electoral roll or getting medical treatment is a logistical nightmare. Every step of the way, you are paying money to obtain much needed and essentially required paperwork. The Spanish love their bureaucracy, it keeps people in jobs and there is an official process for everything. For me it has been the biggest headache since I moved to GA. This is the one area, I wish I had investigated and looked into far more.

If I had to make the choice again, I would certainly still have moved to Spain. My health has improved a hundredfold, I no longer have arthritis; I don't suffer with manic depression in the same way I did in The UK. I have learned to monitor myself and together with environmental factors, have achieved a relatively successful treatment, for a condition, that I now know, does not need medication. The long winter nights in Southampton are a distant memory, I am happy and settled, learning new and interesting things each day. I can speak a little Spanish, not essential, when you live here I grant you, but am proud to be learning a new language and living in a Country I love. The biggest word of advice I can give anyone, considering the move to Spain, is do it, do it now, before Europe remove the rights of the British to live, settle and work here; what's stopping you?