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"Effective way to remember the wife's birthday . . . forget it once!"
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On Tuesday I met an old friend, someone I have known for thirty plus years and a person I lost contact with about ten years ago. Our lives travelled in very different directions and somehow along the way we lost contact, which was a shame, but a sad fact of life in this day and age.
I have managed to keep in contact with many of those I went to school with, only because of social media; without facebook it is doubtful I would see anyone from my past. Reconnecting with old friends is easier now than it ever has been; I am a firm advocate of online sites that allow those we once knew the ability to seek each other out. Friendships are important, especially as we get older.
Garry doesn't have a social media presence on the net, so it was much harder for him to track me down, but through this blog he was able to get a message to me, allowing us to meet up after a lifetime apart.
Garry was one of the mates I hung around with at College in Fareham. There were a few of us, who would spend time doing our homework in the Admiral Cunningham Public House, near the campus. Handing in homework covered in beer and red wine stains was commonplace and part of my youth. We were all under age at the time, but nobody seemed to mind, least of all the landlord; I have many happy memories, created in this pub, no longer a part of the local community it served!
In the evening we would often frequent local student haunts in Stubbington and Lee-on-Solent, along the south coast of England, many of which are long since gone. These were happy carefree days for me; a time when I became aware of who I was and was finally free from the shackles that school heaped upon my shoulders. School was a deeply unhappy time for me, College was an altogether better period, where thankfully I made some fantastic friendships.
I told Garry I would find a few old photographs to put in this blog entry; as I am true to my word here they are; photo's that feel like they were taken yesterday, documenting a youth far removed from today. When I look back over these and other pictures, I can confidently say I am content with my lot but unhappy about just how far I have come. Looking in on other peoples lives I am conscious at the success they have enjoyed for different reasons. My future did not turn out as predicted, I would never use the word 'success' to describe my own circumstances. Illness, sexuality and an unconventional relationship all played their part in ensuring my life turned out very differently.
I have no regrets about anything and am glad those I went to school and college with, have enjoyed the attainment they have. These were people who have worked hard unlike me, who spent a lifetime trying to block out a past, that continues to haunt me to this day.
It's great to be in contact with Garry once again and I hope to see more of him, before I once again leave British shores!
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I really can't believe how active I am at the moment, I have very little time to myself and whenever I get a few hours like today, I am blogging away. A friend said to me the other day, that I really should take some time out; well maybe I should, but I spent too long sat on my laurels in Spain and have a lot of catching up to do. Hard work doesn't kill anyone and I am enjoying myself more and more each day. In today's entry I want to talk about my working week and what I am doing at the moment. On top of this I do have a family life as well and somehow manage to fit this into my busy schedule. I am also blogger and Columnist for a newspaper in Gran Alacant; all of which make for a busy lifestyle. This is the most assiduous I have been in many years and I am relishing the opportunities ahead.
I am fortunate enough to still be volunteering for Cancer Research in Portsmouth. I have set myself goals and top of that list is to give something back, to the community in which I live. I am lucky to be working with a great team, who are always positive and have been a great support during some particularly low points in my life. Despite my work load I am determined to keep helping this busy retail outlet. My Manager here has put a lot of faith in me and is allowing me to do jobs normally reserved for Managers and Supervisors, something I am happy to do, if it helps them. Monday is reserved for my voluntary work and I intend to keep it so. Thankfully I have two good employers who are more than willing to allow my continued commitment to a cause, so close to my heart.
My main job is of course working for Britain's largest supermarket, a position I am enjoying immensely. So far my time at this large superstore in Fratton has been a success; the positive feedback I have received from those in charge and customers has been far more than I could have ever wished for and I can't thank everyone enough for their encouraging, continuing, genuine and unquestionable comments.Yesterday I was jointly awarded a certificate for my outstanding customer service contribution, something I was happy to accept, pleased that my efforts were being recognised, in complete contrast to jobs I have done in the past. I am working every spare hour I can with this supermarket, there is always overtime available and I am more than willing to do it. Being happy in ones job helps also; in my case I am just pleased to be working at all after such a long period of stagnation in Spain; it is a welcome change to be in such a good position, financially and mentally.
I am also working at the Newcome Arms Public House in Portsmouth, a job I absolutely love. Not only does it give me extra money, but it also gets me out and about in the evening, meeting new people and getting to know the community in which I live. I am well used to bar work now, with my skills improving every day. I am only doing a few evenings a week in this local pub, but already have been welcomed with open arms.
This Saturday was the beginning of the new football season, so after working in the morning, I then went to work at The Newcome, just after the Portsmouth and Luton match, at 5.30pm. It was packed, there were supporters everywhere and I was in for a busy six hours, after being up since 6.30am. I finally got home, exhausted at midnight; on Sunday I would have to do it all over again!
Tomorrow I have made time to sit down and write my third article for the Gran Alacant News. After speaking with the owner of this new English language newspaper, I agreed to write a fortnightly column, discussing issues important to the Expat community. Writing is my number one passion as anyone who reads this blog knows, so any opportunity to put pen to paper is welcome and I would like to thank all those who have read my first article 'New Horizons.' I was delighted to hear from many who receive the GA News, saying how delighted they were to once again be reading my words, in a new column entitled 'Postcards From Britain.'
Despite no longer living in Spain, I think it is important to keep a connection to this fantastic place. I made many friends there and hope to visit soon, before Darrell leaves the Country. Gran Alacant News is a new publication and I wish its proprietor Dave Bull well. Do keep up to date with my thoughts and muses from the UK, all feedback is of course very welcome.
With all the working and writing you could be forgiven for thinking I have no time for anything else, well I am trying to achieve a kind of work/life balance that I am happy with, still spending time with family and friends when I can. I have managed to get one day off a week; spending time with those close is more important to me now than ever.
I see my Cousin Rachel nearly everyday and although my Aunt and I can be a bit like passing ships in the night, I do manage to see her when I can. All of us lead very busy lives, so it goes without saying, that we have to make time for one another. With the school holiday's in full swing and the summer hotter than usual, this isn't just a time to work, but it is a time to enjoy family life.
This could be the last prolonged period I spend with family in the UK, so I need to make sure I use my time here wisely, doing everything I need to, seeing who I have too and enjoy quality time. Working everyday is OK in practice, what what am I achieving long term. Well like most people I need the money in order to survive while living here in Portsmouth, but I am also conscious of my family commitments and values and want to spend as often as I can living life as I used to, before my family took a back seat.
Achieving the perfect work/life balance can be challenging. Most of us work extremely hard these days and have very little time for our immediate families, let alone those in our extended network. Living in a family home does help increase contact, but it is more than that. I am intent on forming bonds that I never used to have, unique relationships with my kinfolk that have been lacking for one reason or another. Had my life not gone the way it has, I would not be here today, rebuilding bonds. Despite the anxiety, stress and lack of direction I am experiencing, there has at least been an upside and I have grown close to family once again. The longer I remain in the UK, the closer I will become with Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. I am mindful that I will be moving on at some point and am taking each day as it comes. For now I am content with my path in life; I have the balance just about right and I look forward with anticipation at the future laid before me!
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Saturday had a twist in store for me in more ways than one. I had planned to do so much that day, but as always my ‘To Do’ list is adventurous and far exceeds the hours and energy available. After exploring a new venue for dinner with friends up in Brigham City, I decided to quickly go shopping so I was ready for the coming week.
I zoomed around the store picking up the items on my shopping list, pleased that I could still walk fast and that I hadn’t over eaten at our meal. I was hoping that I would be able to catch up with the things that I hadn’t done on my list due to coming to a complete halt after lunch. I arrived home about 8:15 p.m. and unloaded the shopping, putting the first load on top of the freezer in the garage. I could get it into the house in two trips. I waited patiently as the front of the garage door closed. If my dog got out of the house, I didn’t want her to escape through that garage door. Then I opened the door into our little courtyard or patio, climbed the three steps with the first load of shopping and plonked it on the counter in the kitchen.
Before I could turn around, the dog had gone out the back door. ‘She must need to go out,’ I ruminated. Then I realized I that I hadn’t pushed the garage door shut. “Oh no!” I rushed out the back door as I didn’t want the dog to go to the loo in the garage.
“Where did the steps go?“ I mused as my feet met air. ‘Time seems to have slowed down,’ I continued.
But all too soon, I met the concrete with a thud and the pain shot up through my body. ‘How stupid!” My mind screamed. I couldn’t get up and I felt like I was going to pass out.
I must have screamed when I landed as my husband came running out. “I’m hurt!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t get up. He tried to help me but I couldn’t put any weight on my feet. I felt waves of nausea ripple over me and I became very light headed.
Eventually, although I don’t remember exactly how, my husband was able to help me inside to the reclining chair and put some ice on my right foot which hurt the most. I’m grimacing in pain but worried about the food that I had left in the garage and the kitchen that could go off in the heat. My husband is adamant that we are going to the Emergency Room. I’m concerned that even though I’m in pain, no-one will believe me and worried about the huge bill that it will generate. However, the pain and my husband’s insistence won the day and we manage to get me into the car. I didn’t have the ability to calm my husband’s anxiety as I was focusing on controlling my pain by trying to relax. I nearly had a panic attack on the way to the car and needed to breathe as best I could on the trip to the hospital.
Once we got to ER, my husband pulled up and went to get a wheelchair. A member of the hospital staff helped him and came out with him to get me into the chair. She wheeled me in to get me registered and to go to triage whilst my husband parked the car.
About twenty minutes later, we are admitted to a room. I’m really glad that they weren’t too busy. Everyone was super nice. My swollen ankles and feet showed them that I was telling the truth even though I was able to mask the pain somewhat. I had a series of x-rays and fortunately for me it turned out that I had not broken anything. Just a sprained left ankle, a sprained right foot and a slightly sprained wrist. I was given a large dosage of ibuprofen for the pain and a brace for my left ankle.
Taking my feet off the level bed to try and stand up to have lessons on the crutches took my pain back up to a seven from a four or five. A constant throb to excruciating stabs. Training would have to wait until I was at home. I could look up some videos on YouTube. My husband went to get the car.
It was pretty tricky trying to get back into that wheel chair again. This time with very little help, the inability to put any weight or pressure on my right foot, the raging pain as the blood rushed down to my feet again, and having to get from the elevated bed to the low chair. I am so glad that I didn’t fall again or twist my left ankle further as I attempted to wheedle myself into the right position to lower myself into that chair. The young lady who was going to give me lessons on the crutches didn’t really know how to help me into this chair. Nor did she know how to get me into the car. But she was excellent at pushing me from the room and out of the hospital to the car! My husband took over and got the wheelchair almost adjacent to the passenger seat and I was able to use my arms to pull myself over to the seat.As we drove back home, the Ibuprofen kicked in and the pain dropped to a more manageable level. I am so thankful to the wonderful staff at the hospital, to my wonderful husband who cares so much, and to wonderful medicine and technology. I am thankful that I was wearing a little backpack on my back when I fell which cushioned my back and hips. I am thankful that I didn’t break any bones and that I didn’t live alone. I would still be on that concrete patio right now, unable to get up.
I became even more sensitive to the needs of others who are confined to wheelchairs for various reasons or have artificial limbs and wonder how they manage? I reflected on their strength and courage to move forwards in their lives and to become as independent as they can.
I got used to the crutches as soon as we got home. I wanted to lay down upstairs rather than lay on the couch. The stairs seemed daunting and I wasn’t that good with the crutches. So I relied on skills that I learned many years ago and, once I got my husband to lower me onto the stairs, I turned around and crawled up those stairs. Getting up again when I got to the top was another difficult maneuver and with the help of my husband and one of those crutches I was able to get up.
By the time I got to lay down in bed it was about 1 a.m. Then my husband and I needed to decompress. I think I fell asleep about 2:30 a.m. I had been awake twenty and a half hours. I wouldn’t recommend trying to walk on air unless you have as much faith in the Saviour as Peter had when he began walking on water.
Today, I am able to put a little more weight on my right foot; I haven’t been downstairs for three days as I can’t manage them yet. I’m still icing the swelling. The beauty of working remotely is coming into its own as I can hobble to my desk from the bedroom on my crutches. Some kind friends have visited and bought in dinner or yummy treats; my daughter and grandchildren came to visit and brought me little ‘get well’ drawings, lemon bars and some lovely roses to look at as I lay in bed; and I’ve received multiple texts of support and love. All in all I’m on the up and up. My husband is super sweet and attentive although I’m probably driving him crazy with how much water I like to drink! Now to just have a shower ….. that would be soooo nice!
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"Thought for the day: People can't drive you crazy if you don't give them the keys!"
