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    FEEDBACK: 'Year In Review - Family!'

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    It is always heartening to receive feedback on blog posts, positive or negative. I inherit a lot of comments and messages, mainly though the wonders of facebook. Today I received a message about my latest entry entitled 'Year In Review - Family' from a member of my own family, a cousin I haven't spoken to in well over a generation. I have only recently got in contact, with this person and  am so glad I did. At a time when I have been feeling rather nostalgic for all things British, missing friends and family, he was able to give me some words of comfort and encouragement, not to mention a supporting ear in which to sound off in, metaphorically speaking of course.

    It can be difficult writing down feelings and emotions, especially those to do with family; these bonds are chequered and somewhat sparse, especially over the last ten or so years. There are many events, circumstances and difficulties, that myself and my cousin, don't know about each other. My life deviated away from the tiny market town, where I grew up, his stayed very much rooted in the memories of the past. I admire the fact he still lives in the town of his birth and envy his connection to  people I haven't seen for years. I can't get those lost years back, but I can at least focus my efforts on renewing links that are just waiting to be reattached; a continuation of where I left off, all those years ago. 

    I will be paying my cousin a visit, when I eventually touch down on British soil again. His comments were much needed and appreciated, his words of advice taken on board and his genuine affection the biggest gift of all.

    When people ask me why I blog, everyday, I am not always sure of the right thing to say; today gave me a real reason, apart from having too much to say, a crusade to fight or a story to tell; today gave me the true meaning of blogging; to connect with people, reignite friendships and relationships and of course move away from the pain of the past.

    "Blogging is a powerful medium, don't let anyone tell you any different!"
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    Year In Review - Family!

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    ​I have always had a rather strained relationship with my family for reasons I can’t even recall. I suppose if I looked back far enough I would discover the reasons why but prefer to keep difficult recollections shut away, dealing with them when I have to. My lifestyle and sexuality has been the biggest factor in my distance from those who were once close. I was born in a very different era, consequently growing up gay was difficult for me, possibly more than most. I was given very little support from those who should have helped, as a result my life took a different path, to the one I expected. The Southampton gay scene became my family, rightly or wrongly. Their influence became a great source of contention; it is highly doubtful anyone back then, after my first few years of coming out, had a beneficial impact on my well-being. My life augmented, firmly cemented within this close knit community; difficult to break away from. A gay scene can be a good supportive network of like minded individuals, it can also be a destructive force, a bubble, outside of which, it becomes difficult to survive. This was the juncture myself and my family began to part ways; I didn’t notice it so much at the time, but can clearly see the seeds of estrangement today.

    Moving to Spain has been a rebuilding process in every respect; in this penultimate review of 2017, I wanted to talk about family, not something I do very often, but feel it is appropriate to discuss my changing relationship, with those who were an important part of my life. They may not always be close now, but that doesn’t mean they are not consequential, they are. The distance between us isn’t only physical; I also chose to emotionally drift into the background, of what was at one stage the largest family in Hampshire, because I didn’t want my life to be a judgement on theirs; that way no one would get hurt in the future. These were indeed very different times; not so long ago, growing up gay was a difficult process, especially when there were those, who didn’t appreciate my sexuality. Staying away was easier for everyone concerned!

    Since emigrating to Spain I have been lucky enough to reconnect with members of my family, I haven’t seen or messaged in many years. Moving to the other side of Europe has brought me closer to those who were distant when I lived in the UK; for the life of me I don’t know why. I did make that first step, a conscious decision to contact family members myself when I moved here. The circumstances of my arrival were not the most auspicious, so explaining what transpired in my life was a little difficult, but in my view necessary, in order to move forwards, no longer looking back to darker times. Once the formalities were out of the way, the reasons for our relocation were never discussed again.

    This year I was lucky enough, to have been visited by my cousin Tracy and her lovely family, while they were on holiday in this region of Spain. Now I haven’t seen Tracy for many years, probably thirty in total, so it was rather a shock seeing her. However this reunion was the highlight of my new life so far. Even though we only spent a brief period together, it was fantastic catching up after so long. The last time I saw Tracy, she was sporting an 80s perm. I remember we all used to gather, on large family occasions at Funtley Village Hall; Weddings, Birthdays, that sort of thing, so I would imagine, that would have been the last place I saw her. It was so long ago, I can’t remember exactly.

    It is only through the wonders of facebook that I saw Tracy at all. After losing contact with my Aunt Carol, Tracy’s Mother, I found her again whilst searching on the Worlds biggest networking site and the rest is history as they say. My Aunt Helen was another family member who contacted me; currently living in the Channel Islands, she encouraged me to speak to other family members, which I did and although we all still remain rather aloof, at least there are the beginnings of reconciliation. Somebody did ask me the other day about my kinsfolk back in the UK. Sadly I couldn’t tell them very much, as we haven’t had a lot of contact over the years; when I sat back and thought for a moment, I understood just how unfortunate this was. All families have disagreements and fall out from time to time, but to allow things to get so bad, that contact becomes impossible is a travesty; hopefully this will be something, that can be put right in the coming year.

    Despite the distance between us, this year has been a good one for rekindling family bonds; not only mine of course. Darrell spent the first three months of 2017 in Australia, caring for his Mother who has cancer; notwithstanding these difficult circumstances, he was also able to once again see family, he hasn't seen in many years, re-establishing some important relationships. Thankfully his Mum seems to be on the mend now and able to look after herself; Darrell would like the visit her as often as he can in future and who can blame him. I aim to travel back to the UK later in the winter, in order to see my Mother and father; finances and time allowing of course. After a two year absence I am well aware that Spain is now my home and have no desire to return to Britain full time. Staying away as long as I have, has allowed me to bed down and establish myself here, returning to Britain when I feel the time is right; early 2018 is the perfect opportunity to finally make contact once again!
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    Christmas Day!

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    ​'Not the best photograph to start with, on a Christmas Day, but after the restless night I had, I was surprised to be up at all, let alone at 9am. I have never been a morning person, much preferring to stay up late and get up later. Even though I was in bed at a reasonable time, it didn't really matter; the ghost of Christmas past was on the prowl!'
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    ​11.15am

    Both Darrell and I had a very weird night and early morning this Christmas day. When I got home from work on Christmas Eve, I found Mollie acting strangely. She was sat, perched on the edge of the sofa, looking upwards, meowing heavily, chattering occasionally, as if she was having a conversation with something, yet there was nothing there. Mollie was observing something, that I clearly couldn’t see. She carried on like this for a good few hours. No matter what I did to try and distract her, she would ignore me, acting distant and distracted!

    As a person, I am quite spiritual and believe in an afterlife, if not God; I suppose you could call me agnostic. I understand from reading about the power of animals, that cats are very sensitive to anything out of the ordinary, otherworldly or ghostly. Mollie can certainly see things I can’t; things that exist, which the human brain can’t comprehend. I am sure it was a ghost! Now I have seen a ghost before, and can remember the circumstances in which the apparition appeared, not unlike what I experienced last night. A sudden drop in temperature and a strange, very strange feeling that came over me. I didn’t see anything myself, it has to be said, but I am sure Mollie did.

    At three O’Clock this morning, after only being asleep for about two hours, I woke up suddenly, gasping heavily, heart racing; I thought I was about the breath my last. Then out of the corner of my eye, I spied Mollie, sat at the bottom of the bed, looking upwards, as if in a trance; she was at it again. Perfectly timed, Darrell also kicked abruptly into life, after a particularly bad snoring fit. Darrell does suffer with sleep apnoea; on occasion, when I detect he has stopped breathing, I jab him in the side with my elbow, just to wake him up. Darrell jolted upright in bed, laying straight back down, whacking his head on the side of the bedside table, right on his temple. Obviously any head injury is a concern, especially how hard he hit it. I have been monitoring him this morning and he seems to be fine. 

    From previous experience, I am sure this house is haunted; I know you are going to think I’m mad, but I really do get these strange feelings, so don’t judge me. I am however a person who has no problem with this type of activity and actually find the concept quite comforting. So far so good today, Mollie is laying in the sun room and isn’t acting strangely yet; however the day is young.
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    ​Darrell has to work at four O’clock, so I am cooking a roast before he goes. I say a roast, because I am not doing a proper Christmas Dinner; the ingredients were just too expensive. I bought a chicken from Mercadona for 5´05€; the same size turkey in Iceland, La Marina, about two and a quarter kilo’s would have cost me 20€ and I wasn’t prepared to pay all that extra money, just for one day. We still have to watch the cents here in Spain, so I am continuing to be as economical as I can. At least Darrell finishes work at 8.30pm, so we can have a few glasses of wine then. It is a gorgeous day today, 24 degrees. Not your typical Christmas weather, but much better than the big freeze in Britain!
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    ​1.30pm
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    Well that’s Christmas Dinner over and done with. As a treat I am using the dishwasher, not something I do often, due to the high cost of electricity in Spain, but today is the birth of our Lord, so forget the expense I say. I have just sat down with a glass or two of red wine watching ‘The Importance of Being Ernest!’ Queen’s speech later and a little siesta afterwards.
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    4.30pm

    Mollie and Wildling are still enjoying the fabulous Spanish weather, after eating a large Christmas dinner with myself and Darrell, who has just left for work. As for me, well I'm blogging and drinking wine all evening. I really do cherish my own time these days, if that makes me antisocial, so be it. As a Taurean, I am a home buddy and that's the way I like it. 
    I've just watched The Queen's Speech, as I have done every year since I was a wee lad; a Christmas tradition that really is the icing on the cake, especially now I am an old Expat living on the Costa Blanca. Her Majesty is a link to the past, not only for our Nation, but also for people like me, who no longer live in their Country of birth. The Queen highlighted a year of terrorism on Britain's streets. Lets hope 2018 see's an end to these barbaric acts and a return to peaceful coexistence!

    It's back to another glass of red for me and some Roy Orbison; his new CD with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra; cheers my lovelies, hope you are enjoying your day!
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    A very Happy Christmas and a prosperous new year to all my readers. Mucho amor Luke x

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    A Very Happy Christmas, From 'Spanish Views!'

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    Darrell said to me last night, it was a bit like a mass exodus at the airport presently, with the number of people leaving Spain, traveling home for Christmas going up by the day. This is Darrell's busiest time of year, as the festive seasons really gets under way. 

    Gran Alacant does seem a little emptier at the moment, but it was good to see some familiar faces at LoungeD last night, popping in for a drink or two, chatting before the big day on Monday. I would like to wish them and all of you, readers of 'Spanish Views,' friends and family, both here and abroad, a very Happy Christmas. I will be spending the day quietly at home; many of you will be with family and others spending Christmas Day alone. Spare a thought for all those who have no one this festive season; reach out to them, in the true spirit of Christmas. Whatever you are doing, stay safe and enjoy this magical time of year!
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    Rab's World!

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    "I'm convinced there is no functional family. Every family has a relative they would prefer to keep hidden. If you think your family doesn't have one...it's YOU!"
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    Connected World!

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    ​
    Thinking about home

    Christmas is always a difficult time of year for me, separated from friends and family. The postman arrived early this morning, bringing a gift from back home. Christmas is the time of year, to remember those close in your heart and others who have no one to celebrate with. Since moving to Spain, it has been myself and Darrell against the World, Christmas day no different. I'm not saying we like it that way, but accept that's the way it's going to be.

    We are not the first people to live overseas at this time of year and wont be the last; at a time when families should be together, there are many separated through circumstances, all part of the lives we live in this connected World,

    When I lived in Australia in the mid 1990s, things were very different. We had access to a PC, but it was slow and cumbersome and offered no real tangible links to those left behind. Today in 2017, things are very different. I am connected 24 hours a day with people who remain important in my life. At the touch of a button I can not only speak to a friend thousands of miles away, but I can also see their smiling face, We maybe separated by the sea, but we are very much in each others lives.

    Receiving a parcel or card from Britain, is another palpable connection to the past; people who haven't forgotten the bonds we still enjoy. I am grateful for all those in my life, near and far and am lucky to be spending this festive season with the person I love, which is more than a lot of people can say. There may not be the hoards of people paying a visit, as there has been in the past, but at least the memories are still there as we approach another sunny Christmas Day!
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