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    Sunday With Friends!

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    ​A very Happy Halloween to everyone this evening. I know many of you have already celebrated, over this weekend; to those trick or treating tonight; may your bounty be fruitful!

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    ​Dinner at Linda's

    I was invited to Linda's this Sunday, along with Lorraine and Alan for lunch.  Linda comes out to her home in Spain, as often as she can and it is always great to catch up with her.

    Linda cooked a wonderful meal; Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup, followed by Chicken en Croute with Dofenoir Potatoes; a dessert of homemade lemon cheesecake and finally a wonderful cheese board.

    It was a lovely day, catching up with neighbours and friends, who don't live here full time.  Great company and conversation, something I haven't had much of recently!

    Halloween at Zest

    After drinking copious amounts of red wine at Linda's, I left suitably fed and watered.  Next stop, I met Katie at Zest, who were celebrating Halloween.  I have to say I couldn't drink much more, so just sat and had a chat with friends.  Sierra Mar Square did feel alive, with colour, as the residents wore fancy dress for the occasion.  Everyone made such a great effort and looked fabulous!
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    Many thanks to Linda for her gifts, from her visit to South Africa; also a big thank you for the huge jar of Marmite you bought with you. As a bit of an addict, I can't thank you enough for that.  It will save me an absolute fortune.
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    Standing on one's own!

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    Darrell has been away for approximately three months now.  During this time, things haven't been easy, it has to be said. When one has been with one's partner for 21 years, spending such a long time apart from one another, is not going to be an easy ride, for many different reasons.  In my blog entry today, I wanted to talk about how I am feeling at this moment and what the future holds for both myself and my partner.  The situation, as it stands today, is not something we would have desired, nor something we wish to carry on indefinitely.  Long distance relationships can and do work here, probably more than most.  There are many people, that I have met, who's partners and husbands work away in other countries for parts of each year.  Gran Alacant offers a relatively affordable base, for these type of relationships to exist.  You can live here for a third of the cost you have in The UK, so my situation is a no brainer.  There really isn't another option available to us at the moment.

    ​I do have Jamie living here with me, so in truth I am not entirely on my own, although he is here less and less, as one would expect.  As a young, very young, twenty year old, you do, tend to spend more and more time out; the majority of the time I am on my own.  I actually have  no problem spending time in my own company; in many respects, after 21 years I am grateful for the change.  I am always doing something and have a lot to occupy my day, whether writing, walking or spending time in the squares around Gran Alacant, where I do know many different people.

    As time has moved on, over these last three months, I have discovered that when it comes right down to it, I am really the only person I can rely on.  Other people claim to be this that and the other; your best friend, friends forever, whatever; actually they probably never were.  As individuals, we are really very much on our own, so have to make of this life, whatever we can.  I personally haven't been living singularly, since the age of sixteen, so for me, this is a learning curve also, one that at the moment, I am finding relatively hard to deal with.  That is not to say I will always find it difficult!

    So what exactly am I finding hard?  I suppose the hardest thing to deal with, is the loneliness.  One does spend most of the time on one's own.  Unlike Darrell, I have no family or close friends here in Spain.  There is no support network, for myself, as there used to be in The UK.  I can't rely on anyone for help or advice.  There are many people I know here, but certainly no one I would push my problems on to.  In the end I have to get through these tough times on my own, which can make life very difficult.

    I have no access to transport, so I walk everywhere.  No bad thing I hear you say, and of course you are right;   I could do with losing weight.  There is a local shop here, where I buy my food, which is of course expensive, so that can be a downside at times; especially with little or no income.

    When we were told, we had to leave The UK, we had no idea where life would take us. When you are confronted by horrendous revelations, given no funds to relocate and told to get on with it, you do or die.  We did as much as we could, together, at the beginning.  It is now up to us both as individuals to get through, what comes next. This is proving even more difficult, than what came before.  No matter how bad things got, after Easter 2015, we did at least have each other.  Circumstances are very different now, so we have to find a way of making this new situation work, in the same way we did, when we left the UK.

    The Future

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    For the moment there is very little either Darrell or myself can do about our situation. Darrell is caring for his Mother and looking for work in an Australia, a Country he  quite simply no longer knows or understands. A place that has changed out of all proportion, making our lives even more difficult, than they were already.  The money he receives in Australia will pay for our life here, just!

    My role is to do all I can to secure a full time time and at least regain a sense of direction, albeit on my own. Overcoming the loneliness is key to my success.  I don't have an endless supply of money, so can't really sit in bars drinking all day, getting to know people, so have to put up with these four walls, I write frequently and have the internet, which without which, I would be even more isolated than I am already.

    I am really not as unhappy as this entry may suggest.  I am relishing new opportunities to write, work in a school, even if it is only once a week and meeting some fabulous, new people, many of whom I can now call friends.  The only difficulty is the harsh realities of Spanish life.  No benefits of any kind, even in my precarious position. Wages are low, contracts expensive and unemployment is high.  Trying to navigate through the system, is also difficult on your own.  All these factors make for a bumpy ride at the moment.

    I am really not sure about my long time future in all honesty.  For once in my life I am lost for words and a little bit directionless.  I know from Darrell, that he would like to stay in Spain, although I am not sure about Gran Alacant.  I am very happy here, but the opportunities do not exist, in the same way they would elsewhere.  At least we both agree on where we want to be.  It is clear that we will both have to get through these tough times together, although apart and hopefully come out the other side.

    It is true to say, I do get bitter at times; who wouldn't after what we went through. When I look at other people and how easy their lives are, compared to ours, it does leave me feeling exhausted and hopeless sometimes.  Many people just sail through life, everything handed to them on a plate, no battles, no worries, no debts or regrets. Darrell and I have never had any good luck, foresight or help, we have literally always been on our own.  When you lose one half of a partnership, it can really be a deflating experience.  I am not used to this way of life, but am fully aware of my intentions, to not go back to The UK; so I have to do all I can to survive, until we establish our credentials both here and in Australia.

    ​Standing on one's own, is something I never thought would happen; it has, so I have to get on with surviving, with what I have.  I am learning so much about life, others and myself, that I could never question my reasons for being here.  If that is all I gain from this period in my life, then it would all have been worth it!
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    Whistleblowing!

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    Yesterday, I wrote a little about whistleblowing.  I have written much on this subject in the past, and thought I would write an addendum, to my blog entry entitled, Charlatan or Confidant Part VI.  It is important to note, that at the time these conversations took place, documented in yesterday's entry, myself and my partner were not in situ, at our place of employment.  This would have made it impossible to whistleblow on an unravelling situation, where in my view, other people were being put at risk.  It was the duty of my colleagues to report any irregularities that were occurring!

    I have always been a champion of the vulnerable.  I believe their rights should be respected and enshrined in law.  I suppose when I started to work for Oxfam, I believed part of my role, would be to protect the rights of ALL individuals; after all, as a charity, Oxfam must respect those who have no voice, mustn't they?  Well as I am fully aware of now, Oxfam did nothing to protect those who needed their support.  When a complaint was made, about the treatment of a member of staff, who had been mocked and insulted because of his disability, Oxfam in its wisdom, decided to take the person who whistleblew to task; making the situation about them, not the person who needed help.

    This whole shoddy episode, still shocks me today.  I believed in everything, this largest of charities, stood for.  I would have fought their corner to the death, yet, the disgraceful, vile and destructive way they approached a situation, that should have been immediately resolved, without any problem at all, beggars belief.  A disabled gentleman, left to the mercy of two dubious individuals, who had made threats against others, sexually harassed the same individual and had repeatedly lied, schemed and directed homophobic abuse, to an already violated person.  This was intolerable and one of the worst misjudgements I have ever witnessed; from a charity, the biggest charity, who were trying to protect their reputation and a proven Sociopath, in order to limit damage to them.

    What an abhorrent way to act.  Allowing individuals to carry on bullying others, because Oxfam were too afraid of the consequences; It was absolutely unbelievable. The organisation, I joined eight years prior, was no more a protector of rights, than Donald Trump is a champion of the poor.  My illusions about this detestable charity were immediately shattered.  

    I asked the person, who whistleblew recently, if they had any regrets in doing so.  They said, they would do it again and again, which says much about their integrity.  They, like myself lost everything because of OXFAM GB and not once did this failed charity ever have the decency to apologise, for their incandescent lies and manipulation.

    I also have whistleblown in the past, I have done so in this case and will always do so again.  I believe others, still working for Oxfam, need to look inside themselves;  reach into their consciences and souls and stand united against the kind of behaviour, all normal people should reject out of hand.  Many of my colleagues, who I understood to be honourable and noble, have done nothing to reinforce that view.  They have allowed, not just one Area Manager, but a whole group of individuals, to play games with others lives; damaging the most needy and corrupting others; whilst those in the know, stand by and allow this to continue.  Shocking is an understatement.

    My advice to those who are still there, is to stand tall against those who seek to cause harm to others, before they start on you, as they of course will eventually.  Luckily for us, we are now far from the fray, although we still hear exactly what is going on, from others who are witness to it and those who have resigned after us.

    In time the 'Sociopaths' at work, within the structure of Oxfam will be caught and all those responsible; those who turned a blind eye and the ones who joined their appalling games, will answer for what they have done.  Always be aware Oxfam, that although I live in Spain, I will always try to bring you to book.  The anger in me, will always be there, because you did nothing and watched, as people were destroyed.  You will never silence someone, who requires closure.  

    I know many people from Oxfam continue to read my blogs, which is a great compliment to me.  When you all have the balls to stand up to degenerates, give me a call,  I will be there, giving evidence against some terrible people and disgusting crimes.  Don't ever believe what you did to us will go away, It will not.  I may well have been advised to leave my country and start a new life, but because of you, I will never forgive or forget.  You will get you just deserts one day, very, very soon!

    ​There, got that off my chest!
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    Early morning walk!

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    I went for an early morning walk today.  Just recently I have been drinking and eating less, and going to bed earlier.  I am waking up at around 7am each morning, full of energy, and have been going on morning walks, which can't be bad.  Gran Alacant is a beautiful place to explore and one of the best reasons to live here!  A little bit cloudy today, but a rather pleasant 22 degrees, ideal for strolling!
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    Marmite!

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    'You either love it, or hate it!'

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    Just been going through my kitchen cupboards.  I think I might be a bit addicted to Marmite.

    ​To be honest, I have always loved, the stuff, ever since I was a kid
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    As far as I can tell, you can only buy the small jars of the black stuff, here in Spain; at an inflated cost of about 3.40€.

    I eat shed loads of the stuff and  never get bitten by the mozzies.  
    ​  Big jars, though, please Spain!
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    Timeline - Charlatan or Confidant - Part VI

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    This sixth reference point, Charlatan or Confidant - Part VI, details the sixth section of a transcript, between myself and a work colleague between the 26 and 28 June 2015.  Please click on the photo below to take you to the blog entry!
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