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    Heart Murmur!

    Australia Echoes In The Hallway Weight Loss Health blog


    ​This week I am concentrating on writing my book "Echoes In The Hallway,' so I will be discussing my recent heart murmur status in a video log. When I turned up at hospital last Saturday, after suffering from severe chest pain, I had no idea that I would leave with a Systolic Heart Murmur. This isn't something that has ever been picked up before, so understandably I am rather concerned.

    It is of course up to me to arrange for further investigations here in Perth, so I can make sense of just what is causing this murmur. It could be benign, which is usually the case when you are younger, or it could be something more sinister: a problem with a narrowing of arteries or a heart valve problem. At this moment in time, they just do not know why I have an issue.

    I am naturally quite anxious about this finding, especially as I do suffer from health anxiety. I do, however, wonder if the nervousness and concern I suffer with on a daily basis, has contributed to the physical symptom. The consultant at the hospital did say that a murmur can disappear as quickly as it arrived. I only had my heart checked a few weeks ago and nothing was picked up, so I am a little confused to say the least.

    Have a listen to the video this week and tell me what you think. I always value your opinions, which you always offer each week. If you have any insight into this condition, I would love to hear from you.
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    I just wanted to say a few words about my new book, that will be coming out soon. 'Echoes In The Hallway' is an anthology of short stories from my childhood. I have been writing for as long as I can remember, and I have decided to publish these personal insights into my life growing up in the 1970s and 80s in tangible form.

    The book is written under my birth name, Darren Light. I thought it was appropriate to use my given name, considering the personal nature of these stories. Luke Martin - Jones in the Blogger inside, Darren is the little boy who grew up, surviving the challenges of 70s and 80s Britain, whilst wrestling with being gay, in a distinctly homophobic world.

    I will of course let you know when the book is on sale and look forward to seeing it in print myself!
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  • Published on

    Roaming Brit - Ten Years in The Making!

    Australia Milestones My Writing blog
    I'm currently in the middle of writing a book, so I'll keep the words brief tonight. This year I will have been blogging for ten years; 2025 is a very important time for many reasons, my blogging anniversary being one. I have also been together with Darrell for three decades, and of course, we have been married ten years. So, this is a chunky, packed milestone for us, and we are both going to pack in as much as possible until our Anniversary trip to Thailand and Singapore in September.

    The reasons I started blogging, were born from adverse events. Suffering at the hands of bullies, I decided to start writing my feelings down — part of a process to understand just what was happening to me at the time. It is only today, ten years later, that I have started to reread my blogs from 2015, and they make for interesting reading.

    To be perfectly honest, the original reasons I started blogging no longer exist. The bullying that both my partner and I suffered, is long gone, as are the people who systematically orchestrated the pain, we went through. Today my life is far more successful and happier than it was in 2015, so despite them succeeding in driving us away, towards a new life far away from the UK, they failed to destroy us as a couple. As a result of their abuse, now we are both stronger, wiser and far more aware, of the more sinister elements, society can throw our way. The worst year in my life, made us the people we are now, and I couldn't be prouder of how far we have come!

    Blogging was a way of keeping my mind active during a terribly difficult period. It allowed me to address the reasons behind the challenging circumstances, we were in the middle of, and try to make sense of the bullying and torment we were dealing with on a daily basis. At the time, I never really reached any firm conclusions as to the bullies motives, but I did lay some rather nasty demons to rest.

    Over time, my blog has changed. It is no longer a space full of anger and anxiety; today it is a happy place. Roaming Brit is a rare thing in 2025 — it is a personal blog, a daily diary of my life — currently in Australia. Personal blogging is no longer as popular as it once was, as bloggers channel their efforts into more revenue based online ventures. So for me, I am continuing to do something I love, more than making money off the back of my writing. Being happy and content is all that matters. This is a passion, a love, and a part of who I am.

    From adverse times, Roaming Brit has evolved into a magazine, consisting of short stories, travels logs and vlogs, contributions from guest bloggers and of course my weekly musings on everything from politics and current affairs to LGBTQIA+ issues and health. Today I write about whatever is on my mind at the time. It is a hobby that keeps me grounded, in touch with my own feelings and emotions, and has brought me into contact with many interesting people over the years. Many of those I have met through the blogging World, have become good friends and have supported me on this ten year journey of discovery.

    To end this short blog today, I just want to thank all of you for following my ramblings, social media accounts and YouTube channel. You have made this decade an amazing, productive and busy time, and I am grateful you have been with me on this rather rocky rollercoaster ride. I have no plans to stop writing anytime soon, you will be pleased to hear; I look forward to the next decade and beyond, and hope Roaming Brit continues to go from strength to strength, as I know it will! Blogging is a way of life, it is in my genes, it has become the life force that keeps me going and the blood that flows through my veins!
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  • Published on

    Biopsy Results!

    Australia Milestones Weight Loss Health blog
    When you are confronted by the 'C' word — Cancer, you really can't predict how you will react. All of us are different. When you are told you may have that disease, you deal with it however you can. As a sufferer of health anxiety, I didn't cope with the prospect of having skin cancer too well. To say I was devastated, would be an understatement. All week I have been traumatised, living on nervous energy, and existing, like every day was my last.

    This week has been hell, I really haven't known whether I am coming or going. I have very much lived in a bubble. I haven't spoken to anyone, including my husband, preferring to stay quiet — alone with my thoughts I was trying to come to terms with a diagnosis, before actually being diagnosed. In my mind, I had cancer and in my head, I was preparing for the worst case scenario. My mental health is quite simply in bits; I feel like I have run a marathon, haven't slept for weeks and literally been through the mill. I am shattered, tired and absolutely exhausted. This has been a hellish week and one I just want to forget.

    The biopsy, itself, has really just been an inconvenience. It is in an awkward spot, in the middle of my back, which is making it really difficult to heal. Whether carrying a bag to work, sleeping in a bed, or sitting on a chair, the friction caused is just exacerbating the problem. I do have some pain from the site itself and having to put on a smiling face each day, has been difficult — especially after recovering from COVID.

    My consultant at the mole scan clinic said, the results would be back within a few weeks, and that immediately sent me into panic mode. Health anxiety doesn't make allowances for diagnostic results. Each day of the waiting process is worse than the one before. For me, the 'not knowing' has been the worst part of this whole sorry episode. I can cope with the pain of a biopsy, even the threat of a positive cancer result, but the waiting period, for an anxiety sufferer, is a killer. I might as well lock myself away for a week — functioning at any semblance of normality, has been hard, and I have made myself ill just thinking about the consequences.

    Within a few working days, my results had dropped into my health app on my phone. I immediately phoned the clinic for answers, to no avail. The Doctor hadn't looked at them yet, let alone analysed them. Despite pushing as hard as I could, the receptionist just couldn't give me any more information. Of course, my anxiety just increased, as I wondered why the results were not being released — 'what were they hiding!'

    The next day, I phoned once more, and again I was given the same answer. The Clinician would phone me as soon as they knew, but 'rest assured they will do it in a timely manner.' This did bugger all to stem my apprehension, and I was probably more concerned than ever. Anxiety is a vicious cycle, as I found out this week, both physically and mentally, taking its toll. Anticipating these results has been lonely and extremely painful. I have lost three kilograms in weight and I look particularly tired and gaunt. Every morning I woke up at 1.30am, sweating, with a fast heartbeat, which as you can imagine, did nothing to alleviate my fears of a positive diagnosis.

    By the end of the day, after my second phone call, the Doctor phoned back, while I was in the middle of some end of day paperwork. My heart immediately sank. However, she immediately told me the lesion on my back was benign and referred to it as 'fibrosis.' You just can't imagine the relief I felt at that moment — all of my anxiety immediately disappeared; I felt like a new man!

    I resisted the temptation to research fibrosis on Dr Google, not wanting to detract from the good news, at least temporarily. After telling Darrell and my father the good news, I slept like a baby. Yes, I woke up at stupid O'clock in the morning, but there was no sweat, fast heartbeat nor anxiety, and I fell back asleep straight away. It was clear, I was going to live another day, and the relief was palpable.

    As ever, with health anxiety, within 24 hours, I was concerned about another pain, this time under my tongue. Whilst searching a possible Squamous cell carcinoma diagnosis, just a few days before, some rather uncomfortable photos of affected tongues came up in my news feed, so I naturally jumped on the anxiety bandwagon once again. This time, however, I immediately jumped off; so far, ten days later, I am feeling chipper, in good spirits and avoiding the anxiety cycle of despair. Thankfully, so far, I am no longer dwelling on the worst life throws my way.

    Thank you for all your messages of support and for just being there when I needed it most. This time I was lucky, when so many others are not. To all of you suffering with a cancer diagnosis: you are truly amazing people; your stories have helped me, during a particularly challenging time, and for that I am extremely grateful. Keep fighting, keep the faith — Health and happiness to you all!
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