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    Bangkok and Chiang Mai 2023

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    Well, that's the holiday booked; In a little over a month, Darrell and I will be flying back to Thailand, to explore this fascinating country further. After our first trip there last September, before resettlement in Australia, we have decided to return to what has become our favourite destination in Asia.

    After receiving a substantial tax refund, we initially decided to go to Japan, a country that is most certainly on our bucket list. However, with work commitments looming, we are returning to Thailand instead. Japan deserves more time than we can currently spare. There is so much we want to see when we are there, that we have made a choice to go there next year, on the way to the UK to see my Father and friends on a brief visit. This way we can stay longer in a country, we both fell in love with many years ago.

    For now, we will be concentrating our efforts on Bangkok and Chiang Mai. Having visited the vibrant city of Bangkok last year, it is safe to say we enjoyed every minute of it, and can't wait to go back. We will be staying in the same hotel in Pranakorn, opposite our favourite restaurant 'SO Samsen,' on Samsen Road. Darrell and I fell in love with this part of Bangkok, especially 'SO Samsen.' The food, ambience, hostess Aom, and her wonderful colleagues, made our first trip an amazing experience; both of us were sorry to leave, and it left us wanting more. This was the last time Darrell and I felt truly relaxed and at home, and I couldn't be happier we are returning so soon after our last visit.

    Bangkok is a large, sprawling city and we both look forward to exploring it further. We only saw a fraction of it in 2022, and hope to see much more during our time there this year. Thankfully, I have a little more time to book trips and sightseeing tours before we leave, unlike last year, and the stress we were both under.

    I have booked this trip through Expedia, who I have used on many different occasions, and despite a few hiccups along the way, everything is now confirmed, and we are both counting down the days. I think it will do us both good to get away from Australia for a while, especially with the constant cold and wet weather, at the moment. Furthermore, I am desperately in need of some heat and sunshine, as I know Darrell is, and 34 degrees sounds idyllic right now. As I have aged I most certainly feel the cold more than I ever did, and I am just thankful to be in Australia, rather than in the UK, where it is even colder. Thailand's high temperatures and humid weather is absolutely perfect - a climate that suits my constitution and sense of adventure, especially now.

    After spending four days in Bangkok, we will be flying to Chiang Mai province in the north of the country. This region is mountainous, famous for its waterfalls, small villages and the city of Chiang Mai itself, which is the second largest in Thailand.  The city is rich in culture, religious temples and historic places of interest and is a must-see for a traveller like me. Unlike Bangkok, Chaing Mai retains an almost authentic charm, recognised by 'Trip Advisor' as one of the top 25 destinations in the world, and awarded the appropriate title of 'most creative city' in 2017 my UNESCO.

    We have chosen a four/five-star hotel in the old town called The Bodhi Serene. This stunning residence, in Chinese/Thai Lanna style, is situated in the heart of the city, within easy reach of all the major tourist destinations. We both hope to see as much as we can while we are there, as well as taking some much-needed time to relax and unwind after such a busy and eventful year in Australia.
    This will be the first break both of us have had in a year and despite only being able to spend a few weeks away, we are just grateful, we are able to. As I look forward to a fantastic holiday in Asia, I am mindful of just how many people are unable to afford one this year. We are both fortunate to be in well paid jobs, in a country that is relatively sheltered from the worst of the cost of living crisis, unlike back home in the UK. Travelling is and will always be our first passion, so when opportunities to see places, others can only dream of arises, we grab them with open arms. It will be good to take to the skies once again and continue on our journey together; I'm not sure if I'll ever completely settle down, wherever I am in the World!
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    Forever Young, Gone Too Soon - Remembering Paul Nightingale!

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    The death of someone, young, never fails to shock; this week another old friend passed away and memories from thirty years ago came flooding back. The older I get, the more nostalgic I become, so when someone who used to be close dies, it is important for me to not only celebrate their life, but also all those who have died long before their time.

    The early 1990s was a time of exploration and discovery, as I look my first tentative steps into the gay world. As a University student, living in the lively British south coast city of Southampton, I was determined to live my life to the full. Every Friday and Saturday night, I would dress up, get drunk and hit the Magnum Club, in Clovelly Road, the same street that I lived on, in a shared house of like-minded individuals.

    The Magnum club (sadly no longer with us) was my first foray into the gay scene and I have such fond, enduring memories of the place. The scene in 1993 was very different to today. In an era of high tempo dance anthems, euphoric house music, recreational drugs, liberation and hard won freedoms, being gay was still very much taboo. Celebrating our sexuality, in a safe and welcoming environment, was absolutely necessary; back then hate, and exclusion, was routine, part of the makeup of society at the time. Friends were our kin folk, in all but name, they were a substitute for our parents, brothers, sisters and Grandparents - rejection from family was commonplace; the bonds we formed then have, in many cases, lasted the test of time.

    Paul Nightingale, whose life I remember today, was part of our close circle of friends. We met through hedonistic nights of unmitigated chaos in a club, which represented my sense of purpose - fun and living life to the extreme. Paul was genuine, thoughtful, highly intelligent and extremely loving. He was a scene regular, at the club and the after parties that followed - part of the fabric of a scene that sought to protect its Brethren and nurture in the most difficult of circumstances.

    As we partied the nights away on the top floor of The Magnum, friendships inevitably formed. Hugs, community spirit, gay family and a feeling of belonging to something bigger than ourselves, all played a part in the formation of deeply emotional attachments. These affiliations struck a chord with me particularly, growing up at an extremely poignant time of change! Paul was part of a wider group of people who offered unconditional acceptance, as many of us struggled with our sexuality, mental health and relationships. He was also a fellow student and an outrageously charismatic personality, who never failed to entertain. Paul was a gentle soul who just wanted to be part of something better.

    When I heard of Paul's passing a little over a week ago, another part of me died inside. He is yet another loss from an unforgettable time, that sowed the seeds for the rest of my life in the UK. He is another old friend from that indelible period, who has died far too soon, and the pain never gets any easier to bear. Deep down, I can't help feeling the self-indulgent excesses of the 1990s, may well have played a part, in the long list of lives lost over the years. Equally, I am fully aware of my own mortality and the transient nature of life itself. Someone once asked me if I had any regrets about growing up gay when I did, and I replied, quite adamantly, 'No!' How could I, I wouldn't have met the wonderful characters I have, nor forged the friendships I continue to build on, day after day, 30 years later. Most importantly, I wouldn't have the memories I made, unfaltering in their significance and auspicious in their nature! People live as they think fit, die when their time is up, and the rest of us are left behind.

    It has been many years since I last saw Paul, but that doesn't detract from how I feel about his death. In my eyes, Paul will be forever young - colourful, playful, joyous and special; a boy who I regarded as a friend even when he wasn't there. His presence was a continued link to the past, so fragile today, made even more frangible after each and every passing. His loss is a time to remember what he meant to all those who knew him over the years, and the extinguishing of a light that shone so brightly, even during the darkest of days. Rest in peace, dear Paul, we will never see your like again!
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    Just a few things to get off my chest this week!



    There are some things that just need to be said. No matter how much I miss The UK at times, I am certainly thankful to be away from the destructive behaviours that cause harm to others. Britain excels at destroying people, and I should know, I've been there myself. Treat people fairly, look out for their well-being and above all, be kind!
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    From Probationary to Permanent!



    This Sunday, I am finally relaxing after a busy week at work. It feels like I haven't stopped over the past seven days; if I've ever needed a day off, it's now. With the weather still decidedly chilly, I have personally been feeling a little run-down. I always know when I'm over doing it, because a reoccurring infection rears its ugly head on my face; It looks like acne. Whether or not it is I just don't know, but it has flared up once again. I haven't been able to shave and look like a dishevelled tramp - not good for my self-confidence, especially working in the job I do.

    Despite a general feeling of tiredness, achy joints and sniffly nose, it has been important for me to carry on as normal. As a 'hardy Brit' I am rarely sick and certainly do not suffer from colds or flu, so I tend to just shrug off my general apathy and get on with it, as most of us born in the UK do. At the moment I have a lot on my plate, whether through work or at home, so having time off is absolutely necessary. I am a person who suffers with stress and anxiety, so detaching myself from real life is something I have to do. Blogging is my outlet of choice and sat here writing today, I am already feeling better and a little less stressed.

    This week I have finally reached the end of my probationary period at work and after six months of hard graft, I am a permanent member of staff. My job has become my lifeline to the outside World, rather like Tesco was in Portsmouth. I work with some wonderful characters, and I am relishing the new opportunities ahead. Also, I was delighted to receive a substantial pay rise this week, strengthening the fortunate position I find myself in today. Things were so different a year ago, when I just couldn't see past the turmoil that was overwhelming my life.  Today, I have been able to lay to rest the problems that brought us to Australia in the first place, and I can't quite believe just how successful our journey has been.

    Finally, the new fence has been erected outside the house, after we shared the cost with the rest of the houses on the strata, and had the old wooden structure removed. Despite the expense, this was something we had to do; the old one was falling down onto a public footpath and major highway. Thankfully, it is taller than the previous boundary, which affords us the privacy we craved. Initially we wanted it even higher, but after being told we would have to put in a planning application, we decided against it. Time really wasn't on our side, we just wanted it done and dusted.

    With the end of the tax year on the 30 June, we have to see a tax agent on Monday to sort out our affairs. Both of us are due substantial rebates, and this will allow us to have a holiday in the next few months; something both of us need. We have worked so hard to get where we are today and without blowing my own trumpet we are proud of just what we have achieved, in such a short space of time. It's time for us to look forward to the next chapter of our life together and, hopefully, just a little less stress. At 52, time isn't on my side, but I am determined to make the next ten-years profitable, enjoyable and prosperous, as we reach the later stages of our life down under.


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