Things don't seem to be getting any easier at the moment, as Darrell and I both experience a difficult time; both our Mothers are unwell on opposite sides of the World. Until recently, we both lived together in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca, in Spain. This was the life we both chose after a difficult period living in the UK. We both followed the letter of the law and became Spanish residents; making plans for the future. That all changed suddenly, as Darrell's Mother fell ill with Cancer. After only a few months living in Spain, Darrell flew home to spend time with his Mum, as she underwent chemotherapy, In total he was away for seven months, during which time, I carried on as best I could, under extremely burdensome circumstances.
In May of last year, we were reunited and once again started to plan our life together, but our situation changed; this time my Mother was taken seriously ill and it was my turn to leave our home in Spain, to be with my family at a crucial time. Since the end of May, I have been staying with my Aunt in Portsmouth, while my Mother was treated in Queen Alexandra Hospital.
Mum is a double amputee, losing both her legs through complications from Type I Diabetes. Both limbs were removed below the knee, after blood circulation problems. It now seems this issue has once again returned with a vengance; after spending many years in a wheelchair, a further full amputation is required on one of her legs. Understandably my Mother isn't coping too well at the prospect of another life saving operation and certainly isn't strong enough to suffer the rigours of surgery at the moment. This in itself creates problems, as her condition needs to be closely monitored to ensure blood poisoning doesn't occur. Septicemia is a real source of concern and my parents are just taking each day as it comes, currently living in a purpose built annex at my brothers house.
Over the last few days I have heard from Darrell who has had news about his own Mother, whose condition has worsened. Once again our plans for the future have been put on hold, as my husband makes plans to return home to care for his Mum at this gruelling time. Both of us are putting our own life together on the back burner, while we deal with the spectre of old age. This is not something we have had to contemplate until recently and we have both made the conscious decision to 'do what is right' and be with our respective families in the short term.
Darrell and I have been together for 23 years, a long period in anyone's book and we both feel happy enough to give one another the time and space to deal with issues that most of us will never have to face. Had we both been born in the same Country these problems would not arise. The fact we are from different cultures, thousands of miles apart is a real challenge for us and is likely to remain so, at least for now.
When you fall in love with another person, nobody tells you what the future will bring; you live your life, plan for the years ahead and follow your heart. Our position is extreme and complicated; certainly not for the faint hearted, but it isn't insurmountable. Eventually the pain will ease for us both and we can once again be together. I am embracing my life now, because I have too. I can not dwell on the malaise currently swirling around me; I just have to get on and do what I can, as much as Darrell does. None of us choose a paradoxical path in life, it just happens and we just cope as best we can!
In May of last year, we were reunited and once again started to plan our life together, but our situation changed; this time my Mother was taken seriously ill and it was my turn to leave our home in Spain, to be with my family at a crucial time. Since the end of May, I have been staying with my Aunt in Portsmouth, while my Mother was treated in Queen Alexandra Hospital.
Mum is a double amputee, losing both her legs through complications from Type I Diabetes. Both limbs were removed below the knee, after blood circulation problems. It now seems this issue has once again returned with a vengance; after spending many years in a wheelchair, a further full amputation is required on one of her legs. Understandably my Mother isn't coping too well at the prospect of another life saving operation and certainly isn't strong enough to suffer the rigours of surgery at the moment. This in itself creates problems, as her condition needs to be closely monitored to ensure blood poisoning doesn't occur. Septicemia is a real source of concern and my parents are just taking each day as it comes, currently living in a purpose built annex at my brothers house.
Over the last few days I have heard from Darrell who has had news about his own Mother, whose condition has worsened. Once again our plans for the future have been put on hold, as my husband makes plans to return home to care for his Mum at this gruelling time. Both of us are putting our own life together on the back burner, while we deal with the spectre of old age. This is not something we have had to contemplate until recently and we have both made the conscious decision to 'do what is right' and be with our respective families in the short term.
Darrell and I have been together for 23 years, a long period in anyone's book and we both feel happy enough to give one another the time and space to deal with issues that most of us will never have to face. Had we both been born in the same Country these problems would not arise. The fact we are from different cultures, thousands of miles apart is a real challenge for us and is likely to remain so, at least for now.
When you fall in love with another person, nobody tells you what the future will bring; you live your life, plan for the years ahead and follow your heart. Our position is extreme and complicated; certainly not for the faint hearted, but it isn't insurmountable. Eventually the pain will ease for us both and we can once again be together. I am embracing my life now, because I have too. I can not dwell on the malaise currently swirling around me; I just have to get on and do what I can, as much as Darrell does. None of us choose a paradoxical path in life, it just happens and we just cope as best we can!
