I've always been, pretty gullible; there will always be people who take advantage of others; it is a part of who they are. No matter what you do or say to them, they are not going to change; you have too!
You can tell I have finally established myself in Gran Alacant, when a friend, I met here, turned round and told me exactly what they thought. They were not nasty and said what they did for good intentions. After six months I have formed friendships, some of them very close. This was a person I met from day one; we got on like a house on fire. Other people can see through your own ignorance, blocking out the reality, of what bad elements do to people like myself, just for self gain. Establishing oneself in a new place, is hard enough, let alone in a foreign country. At the beginning you can be a little too desperate to form friendships; mistakes are made and you choose the wrong people.
I always try to suss people out these days. I can tell the good from the bad, really I can, but for some reason I just choose to ignore my own intuition. Clouded judgement comes from awkward or alien circumstances; that has always been the case with me. During my time in GA, I have made many friends, so yesterday's wake up call was just what I needed. substantiality suggests, that I do need to offload some of the deadwood, even now after only six months!
We did have all that trouble with she who shall remain nameless, three months ago. I realised straight away, what was going on and reacted accordingly; she was gone, straight away. The one person I thought was OK, used us for a place to stay, still owing hundreds of €uro's. Other people are now finding out to their cost, exactly what she is like too. Obviously I feel for them, but they never listened to me at the time. That is besides the point; people like her only exist, because others let them get away with it; they do not support friends and only think about themselves; something I don't do!
She is past history; good riddance to her! There are still plenty of other people out there, willing to take advantage of more victims waiting in the wings. The most important lesson, I have learned out here, is that this place is hard. To forge a living is difficult at the best of times, so if the users of this World, want to make their life, a little easier, they will, no matter who gets hurt in the process. I have witnessed this first hand and due to who I am, my morals and nature, I dislike what I see. I can't change people, that is for sure, nor do I want to, but I can choose to avoid the worst culprits.
I am still learning from my experiences. I am surrounding myself with those I know to be true and honest. I am avoiding many of the harmful influences and choose to keep myself to myself in the main. Sometimes I see Jamie acting in a way, that I would call destructive. I will always speak to him, about what I think is right or appropriate. Honesty is always best. Jamie may or may not listen to me, that isn't important. The most important point of all this, is being honest with yourself and them.
I have become very selective in who I choose to associate with. There is no straight line between good and bad. I know many people who have had challenging lives who are good people. Whatever they have done or still do, is unimportant. If they are kind hearted and all the things I would wish for myself, that is all I care about. I have known many different people, from many walks of lives, with many different backgrounds and histories; I never judge anyone! If they are a friend to me, then that's all that matters. If they treat me and my friends with respect, then I will always do the same.
Compared to the city I come from, Gran Alacant is by far and away, the odds on winner. Of all the places I have lived, this 'village' has one of the best mix and caliber of person I have ever met. This has a lot to do with the expat nature of GA, but also the reasons why people came to live here in the first place; many stories similar to mine. After what happened in my life, I have to be careful, not to let that happen again, at all costs.
A few choice words yesterday made me open my eyes. I realised that not everyone is as generous of spirit as I and those I am close to. I take advice, always, now. I have and continue to learn much about others and without my friends here, I would not be able to stay, while my husband is in Australia. It is testimony to most of the residents in Gran Alacant, that I have stayed. This is indeed my home, though I am mindful of what lurks in the shadows!
