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    Lockdown Life, The Second Wave - Six Mile Walk!

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    Here we are in lockdown once again and with the sun out, I decided to go on a 'lockdown walk,' just as I did, day after day, back in May and June. This time however, the weather is decidedly colder and more people are staying in doors; a perfect breeding ground for the virus. Getting outside, breathing in the sea air and enjoying a two-hour coastal walk is just what the Doctor ordered.

    Recently my blood pressure has been on the rise. Yesterday morning it had reached a high of 134/90; it hasn't been that high since I lived in Spain and if I am honest, I was a little concerned. Lately I have also been experiencing heart arrhythmias and dizzy spells, two subjects I will be bringing to the attention of my Doctor when I speak to her on Monday.

    I hadn't planned to go walking at all today, but because I have been feeling so debilitated lately, I thought it was best. When I got home, my blood pressure was at a stable 117/82, more than perfect for someone of my age. My health and well-being has been giving me greater cause for concern recently; I have become  far more aware of my own issues, which are vast and varied. As someone on the cusp of reaching fifty years old, I am mindful of the challenges ahead, but I am determined to get to grips with them now, while I am still able to.

    When I started walking seriously, at the beginning of the pandemic, after being furloughed from the Newcome and reducing my hours elsewhere, I quickly noticed a change in my general health. I felt more content and happy within myself, quickly losing weight and feeling more alive. Walking was helping me both physically and mentally and for the first time in my life, I was enjoying something, I had spent a lifetime avoiding. As we enter a second  curfew, I hope to follow the same itinerary I started all those months ago.

    I walked a route I had travelled many times before in Portsmouth and once again enjoyed the chance to get out, on my own, away from the pressures of life. It was perfect, spending a few hours thinking, reflecting and reconnecting with myself, nature and the city where I live. This pandemic has caused so much pain and heartache across the World, but I am trying to use its destructiveness positively, in order to improve my life. Only time will tell if I am successful in reaching my goals of sustained weight loss and importantly an improvement in my attitude to circumstances beyond my control. I hope this will be an activity to take with me into the new World, when the virus is gone and life returns to normal... Here's hoping anyway!
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    Locking Down - Avoiding The Winter Wave!

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    Yesterday all of us working at The Newcome Arms said farewell to our customers, as we closed the doors for the last time before Britain once again locked down. I have now been furloughed along with many others, until the Government tell us we can open again. Despite being sad at not being able to see regular customers and colleagues, I am grateful to be away from the impending second wave that is now gripping the country. With five hundred people dying yesterday alone, I am well aware of the dangers of this virus. It seems we could be in for a worse ride than we had before. I will of course still be working else where, but selling beer behind a bar is now an illegal activity, in this strange new World all of us now inhabit.

    Saying goodbye to everyone yesterday was a difficult affair, just as it was the first time we closed. Not knowing how others are doing during this particularly challenging time, is going to be hard. It was a testing night overall and not an evening I want to repeat, but I am at least one of the lucky ones; I still have a job and I'm getting paid. If all goes to plan, we will be open again in four weeks, somehow, I don't think that will happen and the lockdown will probably last longer than expected. Until all of us meet again, we just have to make the best of a bad situation; this will not last forever.
    I had to go into town this morning to do some banking and again, just like eight months ago, the place was deserted. The streets were clear, hardly anyone was about and shops and businesses were closed. Portsmouth looked like a ghost town and I felt like I had entered a different World. The city centre is usually busy, bustling and full of voices, teeming with life, especially at this time of year. Not knowing when this current lockdown will end is disconcerting, it is a rather disturbing scene to witness, a scene not dissimilar to movies I have watched in the past, documenting the end of the World.

    Of course, I will still have contact with others, especially at work, but I am concerned about those who live alone. Particularly vulnerable, are people who were shielding during the first wave of the pandemic and are no longer required to do so. Many of them are choosing to stay at home anyway, for their safety; a difficult decision, but a welcome one. Isolation and despair are common symptoms at this uncertain time and that is troublesome for the more exposed in society. Walking around the quiet streets today, I also felt very much alone with my thoughts, able to contemplate the future and think about my own anxieties. This is going to be another solitary time for me and I will do my best to embrace it, as I did at the beginning of the year.

    I hope to once again spend time walking across the city, but with Christmas coming work will of course take priority. The weather is cold and uninviting, not ideal for exploring this great naval city, but it is something I have to do, if only to stay fit, healthy and sane at this time. Being able to clear one's head, shake away the cobwebs and breathe in the sea air is a must. I am however mindful of my aches and pains and have to take care I am not over doing it. Unlike last time I will not be walking seven miles a day; when one is on one's feet all day at work, a little rest is probably more beneficial than a long distance walk in the rain.

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    Speaking to Darrell today I was conscious of the huge differences in the direction we are both following in our respective countries. Sat with his Mother, friend Beth, drinking a pot of tea outside Woolworth's in Perth, they were all enjoying a normal life. No masks, no social distancing, no hand sanitizing; all of us are living in significantly different Worlds. The contrast is stark and clear for all to see. How could two countries, both islands, do things so differently? One successful, in more or less eliminating the virus, the other, still suffering through inaction, dither, ignorance and a failure to understand the pandemic that is ripping across the World. I am astounded that Boris Johnson and his Government are not being held more accountable for such monumental failures of judgement and hope in time that will change. It is shocking just how many mistakes have been made.

    The next few weeks and months are going to be difficult, as we all try and survive this winter lockdown. The pressures on the health service and the rest of us will undoubtedly take its toll, but it is up to each of us to stay safe and look out for one another. All of us hope this closure will only last until 2 December, but that of course depends on how we all act. In Australia, everyone understood the importance of social distancing, mask wearing and hygiene, here, people seem to be ignoring basic logic when carrying out their daily tasks. Whether they are belligerent with fatigue or confused by the Government's mixed messages up to now, nobody really knows, but their actions will cost lives. Now is the time to act responsibly and follow the rules and hopefully we can all enjoy the family Christmas we planned, looking forward to a pragmatic and hopefully productive new year!
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    My Christmas Wish - Julie Yeates!

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    I would wish for all my family to be happy and safe and to help each other, and to be healthy, kind, hopefully make the best of what we have, and help anyone that needs help at very hard times.

    We all are usually together but as there is too many this year it will be different. But we can all make the most of what we have and facetime if we can't all get together. Christmas is a big part of us, so sharing it with family would be great.
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    Here We Go Again!

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    On Saturday the Prime Minister announced a second lockdown to begin from Thursday. I was working at The Newcome at the time, as all of us waited with bated breath for the details of exactly what was going to happen. From Wednesday evening, along with many millions of us, I will be furloughed once again, as the pub I work for closes its doors for a second time. Each of us who work there, were prepared for this day, but it doesn't make it any easier to cope with. The mental health of workers, up and down the nation is beginning to suffer, as each of us battle our way through this turmoil. We have to learn to look towards a positive future, rather than constantly looking back at a time, all of us will need to forget, in order to move on.
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    I had a brief telephone call with Darrell this morning, just to make sure everything was OK in Australia. There is so much death and pain in the UK at the moment, that it does make a pleasant change to hear good news, from the other side of the World.

    Australia, like New Zealand, has handled this pandemic well, far better than us. Darrell told me that Western Australia is beginning to open up to the rest of the country, in a way it hasn't up to now. Western Australia's isolationist stance has sheltered it from the worst of COVID and as a result life has carried on as normal. Naturally Darrell is concerned about what is happening here, and like everyone else, shocked at the mess Britain is in. Both of us are still working towards seeing each other next year, but we are not holding our breath; this is a virus that keeps on giving and who knows where we will be in a twelve months time.

    Looking back to the first lockdown, 8 months ago, it was a particularly difficult time for me. Like most people my anxiety levels were high and the fear I experienced on a daily basis was palpable. I withdrew from life in a way I have never done before, attending only my core hours at work and for the first time ever, undertaking an exercise regime, walking from one side of Portsmouth to the other. Physically I felt fit but emotionally and mentally I was drained and dreadfully unhappy. Lockdown life had taken its toll and the repercussions have been difficult to shake.

    Only recently I was able to resume normal activities, interacting with friends and family and working overtime when I am able. My anxiety had all but disappeared, and I was happy with my life, despite the pandemic simmering under the surface. Surrounded by good people, mates and work colleagues, I was able to overcome my trepidation surrounding the virus and get back to a sense of normality, that only existed before COVID drove headlong into all our lives. Of course nothing is forever and for the last month I have been preparing for this very day once again; deaths are rising at an alarming rate and all of us are now faced with the prospect of living through yet more hard times, away from loved ones, isolated at home.

    It is ironic that just as I have become used to the 'new normal,' we are returning to the Draconian measures employed during the first wave; I have once again begun to feel anxious about the weeks and months ahead. The World I had created recently, involving a few close friends, colleagues and family, has suddenly become out of reach again and lockdown part two is about to take centre stage. As the NHS battles to save lives, Zoom calls will become the norm, a telephone call becomes the only interaction we are likely to have and separation, segregation and quarantine is necessary to stem the tide of the virus.

    The mixed messages, confusion and incompetence, our Government has exemplified over the course of this pandemic, have highlighted the failings that have brought us to where we are today. Boris and his bunch of nobodies, has brought this country to its knees and as much as I will follow the rules, I am becoming increasingly weary of the flip-flopping inconsistency and lack of clarity shown by this shoddy Government. They accept the scientific advice when it suits them and disregard it when it promotes their agenda. I am exasperated by the appalling lack of judgement and failure to learn from the mistakes of the past. If we want to understand the course of the virus, we only have to look to Europe and the rest of the World for answers. We have been blinkered as a nation and refused to accept restrictions of liberty in order to save lives; that is a terrible indictment on all of us.

    If we are going to survive the next few months, we need to do what's right for us now. We need to follow our own set of rules to remain safe and stop trying to make sense of the Governments guidelines. Confused about what we can and can't do, I have stopped trying to understand the regulations. I just can't worry and stress any more, about circumstances that are being ignored and exploited by others. I know the right thing to do - washing my hands, socially distancing and wearing a facemask and as long as I continue doing that, I feel content with my response.

    As the curtain falls on the new normal once again, I am looking forwards to a little bit of 'me time.' I will embrace a return to diminution, curtail my activities and sink back into hibernation. I am well-used to spending time unaccompanied and thankfully enjoy my own company, so for me this isn't a difficult process in the short term. For others, a return to lockdown will be hard and I will do all I can to reach out to them; people are social animals, we all need someone. As I continue on my journey away from those I love, I will always have an open heart for anyone who needs a hug, even if it is given virtually. Good luck to all of you once again, I'm at the end of a phone if you ever need to talk, we will all get through this together I'm sure and see one another on the other side!
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    My Christmas Wish - Kim Woods!

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    I love Christmas in general, but this year will be very different. My one wish is to still share the best of Christmas ever, even though this year has been rough.

    I love doing the decorating of the hallway and doing the tree. I want to make this year a bit more special. I'm sending Christmas cards which a lot of people don't send, it's all done online with wishes.

    I love seeing the cards put around the room, makes it feel a bit more special. I would like to put a wee smile on one person's     face, wearing a Christmas jumper for a good cause for any charity.

    Make the most of what you have, make someone else glow in their own way. A smile in the heart goes a long way    ;     Christmas is a special time, don't let the virus put a stop to a wonderful season, like it has with the rest of the year. A merry Christmas is what everyone needs. Even if you can't see family, you can make it special in a different way.

    Kim xx
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    A Time For Friendships - The advancing second wave!

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    On Sunday I met up with Ramona, my best mate from University, for our monthly lunch date. This time we drove to The Crate and Apple Gastro pub, just down the road from the famous, Chichester Cathedral. The food was once again superb, especially dessert, the baked cheesecake, the special of the day. I was obviously a little dubious choosing the sweet course considering my IBS issues, but threw caution to the wind and gave it a go! The flavours were sensational; the fruit  and edible flowers, a perfect accompaniment with this home cooked dish. The main course was great also, although the lamb was just a little overcooked for my taste, nevertheless it was worth every penny.
    We were seated by the fire in this traditional pub and once again chatted for the two hours we were there, about what we had been up to over the last month and most importantly, how we had been coping during this pandemic. Both of us have elderly parents, so have been doing our best to avoid putting them at any risk. Like me, Ramona feels it is important to keep a safe distance, until the danger has passed, but that does leave both her and I in a difficult position. Loneliness and a disconnection from loved ones has taken its toll and if I am honest, like Ramona, I am feeling more worn down by the day.

    My old Uni friend has become an important part of my life, as I wrestle with the issues around Coronavirus. We both hadn't seen each other for a while, before meeting up over the last few months. We had however spoken on the phone, when COVID-19 was at its height, helping each other through a particularly difficult time in all our lives. There is definitely something very reassuring about having someone close, who you grew up with during an exceptionally enlightening time. Coming to terms with my sexuality and leaving home for the first time, was both thrilling and challenging, and I was lucky enough to share these important years with Ramona!

    I have found myself reaching out to people more and more, especially now, as we approach the second wave of this pandemic and I'm not really sure why. I guess my own mortality has become a source of concern, especially after feeling so terribly ill in the spring, but it's more than that. My relationship with friends has always been strange, pushing them away more, then I invite them in. I have always been afraid of getting hurt, as I have been in the past, but I have also been a bit of a loner, preferring to spend time with my own thoughts and feelings, writing, reading and enjoying a solitary lifestyle. I had so many bad influences in my life at one stage, I had to rid myself of whole swathes of people, in order to move forwards.

    Of course Ramona is one of the good guys, but I still find it difficult to trust anyone, after the turmoil I suffered at the hands of others. She has restored my faith in friendships and made me realise just how important they are now. None of us know how long we have left in this World; having a close bond with someone, for over thirty years is a rare thing, something special to be cherished and not discarded because of a misguided sense of foreboding. If this pandemic has taught me anything, it is the importance of friends, these are the people, who along with my family, have got me through these terrible painful months.
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    After lunch, we both took a leisurely walk, between showers to Chichester Cathedral, which was stunning. I am a deeply spiritual person, if not religious, and have always found comfort in such buildings. The place was rather empty, probably due to the pandemic and the restrictions in place, but it was the perfect venue to while away an hour, contemplating life during such a tragic period and remember those who were close and no longer with us.

    It seems the church has also moved with the times; QR codes were dotted across the Cathedral, so we could donate if we wished, at the click of a button on our phone. There were also the usual social distancing measures in place, sanitizer around every corner and cleared spaces for easy access. It made a pleasant change to be away from the city and enjoying some much-needed time in the company of a friend who has always meant so much.

    After a walk into the historic city and a browse around the shops, it was time to say goodbye for another month. It is days like this that keeps me going, knowing I have something to look forward to. I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and although we don't see each other every day, it is a blessing they are there at the end of a phone, when times get rough. The World may well have changed out of all recognition and people can't be as close as they were, but it is reassuring to know, somethings never change - the friendship we share, the similarities we convey and the memories that hold us together, will always be a part of who we are!
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