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    Asian Adventure - Onward to Cambodia, 11 May 2019

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    Darrell left at 7.30am this morning for Incheon Airport for his flight to Singapore and Australia. Our time together has gone way too fast; I shall be counting the days until I see him again. I always try my best, not to show emotions, especially at difficult times. If I start crying, it will just make the situation worse and neither of us need that kind of stress on top of what we already have to go through. We hugged and kissed and said our goodbyes and then he was gone. It will be six months before we see each other again, so these last ten days were important for us as a couple. We have experienced much together and travelled to many different parts of the World, but our time in Hong Kong and Korea have by far, been the best adventure yet.

    My Aunt and I left the hotel at 11.30am and took a leisurely walk to a French Patisserie at the end of the street, next to the train station. We had a light lunch before the next stage of our journey. Sat in the small cafe, I was in awe of the sites around me. I will really miss Seoul and have found my time here relaxing and enlightening. Our beautiful apartment was the perfect place to stay at the half way point of our holiday. Visiting Seoul has been an eye opener; there is little western tourism here and as a consequence it remains largely untouched. It's perfectly preserved culture is not only breathtaking, but has also been an amazing introduction to the Far Eastern lifestyle, that I hope to see more of in the future!

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    After a salad and a ham and cheese flatbread we headed to 'Chungmuro Station,' to cash in our Korean Tourist Transit Cards. We loaded the cards each day to use the Seoul Metropolitan Subway, the largest such system in the World. We made our way to the vending machines in the foyer and did our best to try and get our money returned, to no avail. After pressing the help button, we were told to head to 'emart24' along the High Street, where they would be able to take the cards from us. Once more we tried to use the machines just inside the door, again without success; finally we approached the counter, where a lovely lady returned our unused funds and wished us a safe journey to Cambodia.

    The subway system in Seoul certainly is impressive, but as we found out on many occasions, it can be confusing, sending us in the wrong direction. The process of returning our transit cards was also a little archaic, but the fact we could get a refund at all was a bonus, not something you would be able to do in London for example. Suitably stressed we returned to the hotel, where our cases were being stored and ordered a limousine for our trip to the airport; probably wise under the circumstances; neither of us wanted to be dragging cases around for the next few hours in the searing afternoon sun!
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    The journey to the airport took one and a half hours. The drive itself was a little erratic and the driver seemed on edge. Both my Aunt and I said a little prayer as we sped through the streets of Seoul. We did however see many sites that we wouldn't have seen, had we taken the subway. I was struck by how clean everything was; well ordered residential blocks of flats surrounded by beautiful landscaped gardens, nestling next to tall skyscrapers, gleaming in the 31 degree heat. Finally we rode over a rather large bridge, before turning into the bright, modern Incheon Airport.

    Greeted by a robot, we travelled to our departure gate on the other side of the airport, where we settled down to wait for our Air Seoul flight to Siem Reap. This was one trip I wasn't looking forward to. When we booked it online, we had no end of trouble navigating the website, leaving us unable to order food for our journey. After reading reviews about the airline itself, I was under no illusions as to the standards to expect. I was fully aware of the lack of English speaking reps and apprehensive about the plane journey itself, which by all accounts could be quite turbulent.

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    'Currently I am on the Air Seoul Flight to Siem Reap, sandwiched between my Aunt and a lovely Korean lady to my right. She has offered us some tasty homemade Korean bread and advised us on the best way to season our Korean Noodles, that we were able to purchase from the air hostess when we boarded. She has even shown me how to eat the noodles with chopsticks, no easy undertaking, believe me, but actually quite manageable when she showed us how.

    The lady is on the way to Siem Reap with six members of her family, to meet her husband. At the moment she is filling in all the boarding cards for her entourage. She looks perfectly organised and totally in charge of the group!

    Oh wait, she's now fiddling with a rosary and chanting something in Korean, looking totally uncomfortable. Jesus Christ sake, if only she knew how scared she was making me feel. I just hope she is saying a prayer for us too!'

    True to form, the Air Seoul flight was rough. The standard of service was excellent however, totally different to what I was expecting, but the turbulence was incredible. I have never experienced such choppiness before. With my Aunt asleep one side and the Korean lady playing with her beads on the other, I was just hoping we got to our destination in one piece, which thankfully we did!
    We arrived at Siem Reap late in the evening, the airport buildings were stunning, designed in oriental style and our disembarkation, through the terminal was a dream. We were lucky enough to have bought our visa's weeks before we travelled, so avoided the queues at the airport. After a short wait outside for our driver, in what I can only describe as intense, hot tropical heat, we were driven the short distance to La Rivière d' Angkor Resort, our hotel for the next five days.

    This was a beautiful, impressive, colonial building, centrally located, 700 yards from the famous Pub Street and a short walk away from all the major landmarks. Situated along the river front, set in lush tropical gardens, it was the best accommodation we had stayed in so far, even better than the hotel in Vietnam. The room was richly decorated in  tasteful Art Deco style that harked back to an era long since forgotten. I was glad to collapse in bed after such a long journey. The only worries on my mind were snakes and spiders that were probably surrounding our room as we slept. This was a country unlike any we have been to so far and I was looking forward to my stay...Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough!
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    Visit Home!

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    Today I made a visit to see Mother and Father, at their home in Catisfield. It has been a while since I saw my parents; work commitments and a busy lifestyle has prevented me from seeing them as much as I would like. However, with some spare time on my hands, no weekly Doctors appointment and a break in the bad weather, I made the short journey to see them both.

    Mum was in fine fettle, looking far better than she did the last time I saw her. Mother is doing so well, she no longer needs to see the District Nurse on a regular basis and has been discharged from her care. Of course it is difficult accepting that Mum will be confined to bed permanently, but in truth, she is far better off for it. Before, she was confined to a wheelchair, walking maybe a short distance on her prosthetic legs when she was able. After a third amputation, she has found it impossible to continue walking at any level, so remains bed bound, but seemingly in better spirits. Mum at least has the luxury of sleeping in a bed now, where as before, she slept upright in her wheelchair, in itself a life limiting existence.

    Mum and Dad have a lovely home, with extensive gardens, something Mum is able to see through her bedroom and into the sun room beyond. When one is confined to a bed, it is important to have access to the outside World, even if it is through glass, and Mum does have fabulous views, peaceful, with a large tree lined park beyond. As readers to this blog are aware, my Mother and Father had proposed moving to a luxury gated community in their dotage, but have recently pulled out of their commitment, deciding to stay in their family home. I am pleased they have made this decision and am glad they will be remaining in the place they know best. Living in a luxury apartment would not have been ideal for Mum, looking at four walls, in eye shot of a car park. At home they have access to far more than they realised and will hopefully make the best of what future lies ahead!

    All of us had a chat about politics as we always do and also discussed the future. My father has been told he will probably have to have an operation in a few years to replace his hip due to arthritis. As Mothers chief carer, this will of course impact on both their lives. Dad wouldn't be able to care for Mum during his rehabilitation, so as a couple they will have to finance a care package for them both, not a cheap undertaking. It is likely Dad will be out of action for up to six months, so the cost of care will run into the thousands of pound. They wouldn't get any state help, so would have to pay the nursing costs involved, or other family members would have to take over, something I would of course do under the circumstances.

    As you and I get older, we will also have to make similar choices; none of us are invincible. My parents have worked hard all their lives and it is a disgrace they should have to pay for care, that they assumed would be paid for by the state; after all they have paid into the system all their lives. Social care is the one aspect of health provision in this country that has been neglected for far too long and someone needs to get to grips with it. Why should hard working people lose their assets, because a greedy care provider charges two thousand pounds a week, for looking after someone? It really doesn't seem fair, but this is Britain in 2019!

    In time we will have to sit down as a family and decide what we should do in the future, when my parents care needs change, but until then, it is good to see Mum robust and well, fighting fit and realistic about what lies ahead. I am home in the UK to be there for both my parents, as Darrell is in Australia to be with his Mum. These are testing times for all of us, but at least we are doing the right thing and being there for those who brought us into the World; without them, we wouldn't be the people we are. Rich or poor, ill or well, we are family first and foremost and families are there for one another!
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    First Day Of The New Season!

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    It was the first day of the new Football season on Saturday and Portsmouth were at home to Tranmere, another football Club apparently. I jest, of course I know they are a team, but 'The Beautiful Game,' just isn't my favourite sport, actually no sport is my favourite sport, so it is no better or worse than anything else. However I have been in Pompey now for a little over a year, so I am getting used to the locals love of all things sporty, Working in a football mad  bar, I don't really have a choice, I have to get involved to a certain extent and I am learning much about this sport from the fans who frequent the Newcome Arms where I work!

    As a child my Father always tried to get me interested in football, taking me to the park, playing kick about, just like all the other Dads on a Saturday afternoon, but I wasn't having any of it. By all accounts, I hated kicking a ball about so much, I would just sit there on a park bench crying, unwilling to move, having a tantrum at the mere thought of it!

    When I attended school, things weren't any better and I would often bunk off from Physical Education lessons, to smoke a cigarette or five behind the bike sheds. Rather than getting involved in the undignified effort of playing a game that would make me dirty, sweaty and probably suffer from some kind of injury; I would puff my way through a packet of ten JPS...Cigarette smoke was far safer!

    Even when I did have to play football, I was always the last one chosen; I would hang around the goalposts, trying to avoid the ball. On the rare occasion a football headed in my direction, I would flinch, put my hands over my face and hope it would just go away. I'm sure you are all well aware by now, of just how much I loathed this manly, filthy sport; it's only saving grace, men wearing tight white shorts and the homoerotic visions that promoted.

    On the one any only time I went to a football match, with a friend called Denise, during my time at University, I was helping her write an assignment on Southampton Football Club. Sat near the front, I was awestruck by Nicky Banger's good looks and able to get an eye full when he headed in my direction. All well and good until I cheered at the wrong moment, when the other team scored...The rest is history as they say.

    Despite my dislike of football, I was glad to be back at The Newcome on a football day. The regulars at the packed pub were generally in good spirits, drunk and overly affectionate, wanting photographs and enjoying the attention from the staff. I have grown fond of many of the lads who turn up on a Saturday afternoon and really do feel like I am part of the furniture now. They seem happy to see me and we are able to have a laugh and joke about my lack of football knowledge. It was great to be behind the bar again on such a busy day and yes, I look forward to the next time Portsmouth play at home!
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    Faith Restored!

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    After a bout of depression yesterday and the realisation that not everyone in my life is great, today I had my faith restored in humanity. Monday is of course my day for volunteering at Cancer Research, a place I always love being. Surrounded by friends and colleagues. I once again had a busy morning restocking the electrical department, after a successful week of sales.

    I also roped in a friend from The Newcome Public House where I also work, to do a spot of voluntary work, since he had a day off and between us, we got a lot done, more than usual it has to be said. There were numerous electrical items in the stock room to go through and Gary was able to help, making sure everything I was displaying was in working order. Big thanks to the big man for coming in at such short notice, disturbing his morning shop in ASDA. I even made him several cups of builders tea, something I never do...I ABSOLUTELY HATE MAKING THE STUFF!

    It was also a big hello once again to Jules, a colleague I also work with at Tesco, on his return to the Monday fold. After a break of several months, he returned to his rightful place behind the till, flirting with  customers and being a welcoming beacon for the older ladies and probably men too, who come in the shop. As one customer said to me today, 'he looks just like George Clooney doesn't he?' Well, I may well beg to differ on that comment, but Jules is a wonderful bloke, who is a great addition to the Cancer Research family!

    Happy Monday Y'all!
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    Note To Self - You can do better!

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    I’ll be glad to put the last few days behind me to be honest. As usual, I have been working hard, holding down two jobs and spending as much time as I can with friends, which brings me to my blog today, an entry about friendships. Since moving back home I have formed some wonderful relationships with people from all the places I work for and have a rich and eclectic group of associates. These are people I am close to and ‘CHOOSE’ to spend time with. The word ‘CHOOSE’ is important because for the first time I have made a conscious choice to have these people in my life. In the past things were very different. I spent time with many more individuals than I do now, but they weren’t necessarily right for me. These were so called friends, who used and abused, took as much as they could and gave nothing in return. Of course I regarded them as important, but nothing could be further from the truth.

    I have been in contact with many people in recent times, from different periods of my life, who have become close once again. We have rekindled our friendships where we last left off and for that I am truly grateful. For one reason or another, these ‘good ones’ got away and I was left with a hoard of hangers on who did nothing to promote positivity, in fact the opposite was true. Living ones life with a group of negative characters does take its toll on ones sense of well-being and self worth and my life spiraled out of control as a result. Luckily for me, I saw past the swagger and bravado, eventually moving away and restarting my life around better, more discerning, enlightened individuals.

    I am also someone who likes bringing people together, after a lifetime apart and enjoy the happiness that induces. Of course helping others regain contact does have its downsides. As a consequence of my actions, I have always been left out in the cold. As someone said to me today ‘Your job is done, they used you to get what they wanted and you are no longer important!’ Well that is probably true!

    Living apart from ones partner in a city I know very little about has been challenging, but I am relishing the new opportunities that brings. I do have some close friendships now and am being careful to cultivate a sense of equality in everything we do. I understand the meaning of closeness, in a way I didn’t before and it is important to have contact with like minded folk who understand the trauma and turmoil that has made me the person I am. Sadly along the way I have lost a few who I regarded as ‘old friends,’ people who should have given a little more, stayed in contact and not treated me as a catalyst for their own wider agenda. They have achieved what they wanted to achieve and I really hope they are happy with their new acquired social lives, off the back of our mutual friendship. As for me, well, onwards and upwards as they say...I really could have done better!

    This is a blog entry where one has to read between the lines. I do have to be very careful about what I say and don’t want to single out any one individual, but I am in an angry mood. I came across a message written by someone who I thought was close and lets just say it highlighted their true intentions. They couldn’t give a damn about me or my feelings, they were more interested in their own self satisfaction. In fact as I read the message I realised why I hadn’t spoke to them in many years. I am well versed in bullying and the culture that is built up around it and I have seen words like these before. In the past I would have brushed them under the carpet, believing I was being over sensitive, when actually I was just witnessing ‘abuse in action.’

    Today I know when it’s time to say goodbye and tell people where to go. I am just too old to bother with nasty people and as I close this entry, I also close another chapter in my life. This isn’t the first time I have written about this subject and it wont be the last; friendships are what bind us together as human beings but they can also be the noose around our necks; when it’s pulled too tight, it’s time to cut the rope!


    This is what I love about blogging, getting things off ones chest!

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    Bye Bye Jo!

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    Yesterday everyone at Cancer Research said farewell to Deputy Manager Jo, who is moving on to her own shop in Gosport. Eleven of us went for dinner at Yan Woo Restaurant in North End, Portsmouth. This is a place that has been recommended to me before, so I was looking forward to trying the Chinese menu. The cost of an all you can eat meal, cooked to order, a bargain 17.95 pounds and it was worth every penny. The food was exceptional, piping hot and perfectly cooked. It normally takes a lot for me to be impressed with any dining experience, but the truth is, it was fantastic! With copious amounts of alcohol flowing and everyone in good spirits, the evening went off without a hitch!

    Jo was a good Deputy Manager; her and I got on well, both of us having the same sense of humour, dressing up whenever we could, at every given opportunity and employing a lighthearted approach to our working day. Volunteering for a charity is different to the 'normal' working environment, it is a far happier atmosphere and everyone who volunteers wants to be there, enjoying making money for charity. Jo's friendly attitude and positive viewpoint was always a source of inspiration for me. Not only was she a boss and mentor, but she was also a friend and confidante. If ever I had a problem or issue, I always knew I could go straight to Jo for advice. She will be sadly missed by all of us who worked at Cancer Research in Portsmouth, the shop in Commercial Road will not be the same without her.
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