Hey all! It’s been slightly longer than a week but I’m currently in Bruges! What a beautiful city! We’ve been to a brewery, torture museum, LOTS of bars and LOTS of restaurants! Today is a trip to Ghent just down the road!
So today’s installation is about being ‘lonely.’ I use the inverted commas for a reason as I know, deep down, that I will never be alone in life. I have plenty of friends and family around me all the time.
I think my eyes have been opened to it quite a lot being away- I am here with my brother Ollie and his girlfriend Abbie. I said to them yesterday, I feel like I’m the only single person in Bruges!
I’ve lived by myself for over 2 years now and I absolutely love my little flat! I am so proud of what I’ve achieved by buying my own place, furnishing it, decorating it and generally maintaining it (I’ve even hung photos and built furniture!!)
However, if you’ve ever lived alone, you’ll know how hard it is sometimes to get home night after night and only have your own company.
Something that has become apparent to me more recently is my addiction to my phone and social media. I think this comes from spending so much time alone that I feel the need to speak to people over the phone. Sometimes I can go a whole day without a text or a call and that, I find really hard.
On the flip side of this, these times that I spend alone, I can do whatever I want to do… at the moment that will probably consist of reading my book all bloody day or watching some sort of rubbish on tv! But I’ve started to realise I need to embrace this “me time” and stop seeing it so negatively.
The rest of this year, for me, is to learn to enjoy my own company… learn to love myself… learn to not need my phone. But mainly… learn to stay off bloody dating sites and not be tempted.
So, after writing my first blog, I woke up the next day feeling sick and full of regret.
There were certain “Friends” that haven’t spoken to me about it, mentioned it, commented on it or generally cared.
So, a “normal” person would say, who cares… look how many people DO care. I had about 30 messages over night from various different people, congratulating me, telling me their stories etc etc. But still, the first thought is.. what about the others.
Something that has been a huge huge part of my life, more so in the last year is how frequently friends come and go as you get older.
Finding myself nearly 30 and newly single, I realised how much I needed my friends. I felt my self looking around and seeing that people that were a huge part of my life last year are now No where to be seen.
I remember my mum telling me a few years ago that as I get older, I will lose a lot of friends but the friends I keep will be for life.
What I find really hard is the fact that I have some wonderful friends who have always been incredible to me, however I still find myself “mourning” over the loss of the old friends, especially when they walked out of my life completely randomly and for what feels like no reason.
I know I need to pick myself up and treasure those that ARE still around and not forgetting the new friends I’ve made along the way. So here is to doing exactly that… to my TRUE friends… Thank you xxx
Let me introduce you to Claire, a lady I have known for over ten years. This brave young girl has started a blog, documenting and detailing her own personal mental health journey, as she deals with depression. I came across a link for her web page on facebook and immediately asked if she wouldn't mind featuring on my blog from time to time. She very kindly agreed and I am proud to welcome Claire to the wonderful world of blogging.
I have written much about depression and the spectre of mental health and understand just what it is like to deal with these issues on a daily basis. Many of my readers at 'Roaming Brit' have contacted me about my stories dealing with depression and I know Claire's writing will also be of great help to them as they face their own challenges and difficulties everyday. Once again a big thank you to Claire!
Well hello there… if you’re reading this you’ve obviously clicked on the link!
Where do I even begin? So I’ll assume you all know me… I’m Claire… I got diagnosed with depression around 10 years ago, the anxiety I assume comes hand in hand.
I’ve been having private counselling now for around 6 months, it’s been absolutely brilliant. I would recommend it to anyone that can afford it.
One of the most recent sessions was my counsellor saying I should start a blog, to tell my story… talk about my week and the struggles I have overcome. Not only that, but mainly to help others. I have learned so much along my journey and would love to teach some of it to others. If I can just help one person, I will be happy.
So here I am… today’s blog will be short and sweet, a little snippet some may say! I’ll try and post weekly, almost a “week in the life of Claire”.
So today, I woke up feeling RUBBISH. I felt really down in the dumps and miserable… one of those moods you can’t snap out of. I messaged my mum (She will come up a lot in these!) And my sister in law to see if I could tag along to Bournemouth with them.
I got a reply from both, of course, more than welcome but it will be very fleeting… won’t it be a waste of time?
Queue that little man that sits on my shoulder… they don’t want you there Claire! I fought that little man, told him to piss off and jumped in my car. I had the loveliest day with my amazing family.
Back in the day, that little voice would have consumed me and I would have stayed at home feeling sorry for myself all day.
My life mantra – little steps.
So this was longer than I thought, sorry if you’re bored out of your mind, if you got this far congratulations and thank you!
Anyone reading this, if you feel you need to talk to anyone, need advise, to chat, cry… you name it… I’m here.
I’m still working on the whole speaking on the phone thing so bear with me on that one, but always at the end of a text/Facebook message/Instagram message bla bla you get it.
Again, thank you… until next week!