So, the big 3-0 is nearly here, 2 days to go. The breakdown has been impending for a few weeks now… This morning I broke down in my mum’s arms and asked for my birthday to be cancelled. I explained my life was planned differently to this and I never expected to enter my 30th year single.
I’m not in a great mindset at the moment in general, went away for the weekend last weekend and it turned out to be a really tough time. I won’t go into why, or specifics, but boy did my mental health take a battering.
I’m now at my parents for a few days, chilling, reading and generally just having a relaxed few days. But the problem is, relaxing means my mind goes into over time and starts telling me rubbish that I don’t want to hear.
I’m off to the cinema by myself this afternoon to try and distract my mind from all the negative thoughts. I’m also going to go for a nice walk with Rosie and see if that can distract me a bit too.
I’ve dreaded my 30th birthday for a long old time, constantly comparing myself to where my friends are in their lives at their 30ths.
So, if you need me on Saturday I’ll be hiding under my bed, having an emotional breakdown (picture Rachel from friends).