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    Reflections of a 90s Club Kid!

    Australia Memories Of Southampton Milestones blog
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    This week, I managed to talk to my old friend, Dom, back in The United Kingdom. Sadly, these days, we don't talk as often as we should, but it does make it all the more special when we do.

    It's fantastic to see that some people just don't change, and Dommy is just the same as I've always known him. When you live so far away from friends, you do tend to value the times you catch up more and more. The fact is, I've become rather sentimental in my old age, and as today's video shows, I am reflecting on the past more and more; that is definitely a sign of aging, and appreciating the memories I made, getting to where I am today.

    ​In today's video, I am referencing a particularly memorable time in my life. In fact, I think it is safe to say, the most important period in my life so far. The years 1990–1995 were years of growth, self-discovery and finally coming to terms with my sexuality. This particular chapter really defined the person I am today, and despite coming of age at a time of great discrimination and inequality, I was grateful for the people who were a part of my life at the time. Without them, things would have been much tougher than then they already were. My naturally anxious disposition was kept at bay, through the influences of friends, who knew me more, than I probably knew myself.
    In 1990, I was a respectable civil servant, responsible for planning a large area of London for the 1991 census, in my role as an Enumeration District Planner. This was a great job with amazing prospects for the future, but as I cautiously navigated my way in the world, I threw caution to the wind. I gave up my career, for a life, that even I couldn't have imagined. 

    This was the age I discovered my sexuality and came out to close friends. My first boyfriend, in 1990, was a stepping stone to the life I lead, 35 years later. Initially hesitant, as I denied who I really was, I soon found kindred folk, other gay people just like me, as I returned to full-time education in Southampton.

    I suppose I could say my life spiralled out of control at this point, as University life became one long party, where lectures, work, and knuckling down often took second place. Maybe if I had chosen a course that I was actually interested in, things would have been very different. However, I did what was expected of me, and not what I really wanted to do. The actor and writer that really pushed my buttons, were just too far out of reach. In my mind, I would never be good enough, so I gave up at the first hurdle.

    ​Despite my failings, which are many, I wouldn't change this period for the World. Not only did I discover the person inside me, I also met the most eclectic group of people I could have ever wished for. My network was vast and diverse, and I am lucky enough to still be in contact with many of these friends even today. That is testament to their welcoming nature, and an appreciation of the often chaotic times we all spent together, at a time of World change, and the birth of equal rights for all. 

    This was five years that aged me out of all recognition, but for the right reasons. In my early twenties, I finally discovered what being gay was all about. I made so many mistakes along the way, hanging out with the wrong people, doing things I shouldn't and not working hard enough to succeed financially, but the experiences I had were worth every bad choice I made.

    All of my strong, enduring relationships, were born between 1990-1995, this tumultuous, topsy-turvy five-year time frame, including my current marriage to husband Darrell in 1995. Had I done the right thing and continued my career in Her Majesties Civil Service, my life would have been very different today.  The disparity would have been stark, so much so, I may have even been married with kids, waiting for the day, I could finally come out, like so many I have known, and often criticised myself.

    So no, I wasn't the success I planned to be, I battle more today than I ever have done, but my affluence is my encounters, exploits, adventures and endurances, culminating in the long, loving relationship I still enjoy. That's all that matters, that's everything I ever wanted — the money, fame, and fortune were nothing more than a superficial dream!
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    29th Anniversary — The challenges of a gay relationship, from opposite sides of the World!

    Australia Milestones The Two Of Us blog
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    Today, we are celebrating our 29th Wedding Anniversary — a life sentence by anyone's standards. After another exhausting year, we are still together, still going strong, and above all, still striving for a better future. 

    From its very inception, our relationship was tested to its limits. We have both been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, as we navigated the ups and downs of married life. Of course, our time together hasn't been conventional in any sense of the word. When you fall in love with someone overseas, you become part of a system that seeks only to keep you apart.

    As a same-sex couple, who met in 1995, we were under no illusions about the difficulties we would face. Homosexual relationships, such as ours, were not recognised in law, and we fought hard to avoid separation, finally being allowed to stay together in The UK in 2000.

    Today is about celebrating another important milestone in our life, as partners together, and, as we look forward to our 30th anniversary next year, we are mindful of the challenges still to come. In two years time, I will finally become an Australian citizen and for the first time in our life as a couple, we can both relax, taking a huge sigh of relief. Knowing the legal constraints that have literally kept us on our toes, all these years, have been lifted, and our life has become 'normal again' (the first time in over 30 years), will be a weight lifted. No longer checked at every twist and turn, just allowed to settle down together, and become the couple we have always dreamt of being!
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    Living The Quiet Life Down Under - Nearly two years since we left the UK!

    Australia Britain Cancer Research Cats Family Friends Colleagues Gran Alacant Milestones Pippa And Akira Travel blog
    Wow, how time has flown! It has been nearly two years since we left the UK, and what a productive 24 months we have had. This time two years ago, I was busy saying my farewells to family, friends, and colleagues. It was an emotional time for me, especially since I had made some wonderful connections during my time living in Portsmouth. These were the people that got me through the tough times, when Darrell was locked down in Australia and the pandemic was raging across the World. Without these people, life would have been harder than it already was. As my World got even tougher, during our final few months in Britain, all of these people became the family I had lost.
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    Darrell and I have managed to stay in contact with family and friends from across the globe. We both owe them a great debt of gratitude for all they did for us, making our final weeks happy and memorable. I miss them every day; a photo on a wall cannot make up for physical contact, but both of us have memories that resonate every single day, and thankfully we have social media and video calls, to keep those friendships alive.

    My oldest, dearest friend, Ramona, celebrated a milestone Birthday recently, and we spoke to each other for over an hour. Chatting about the old times, shared friends, and memorable times spent together over 32 years. Those important milestones, that we both share, have been instrumental in keeping me firmly in Australia. Ramona knows where Darrell and I are better off, and she has always been honest about where she believes the best place for us is. Ramona and I have always had an honest and open friendship, we have shared so much over the years, her advice is invaluable; she is actually one of the few people I listen to!

    We also managed to speak to one of our closest friends in Portsmouth, Zerina. Not only did I volunteer for Zerina at Cancer Research in Portsmouth, but Darrell also worked for her as her Assistant Manager. She was one of the most influential people in my life, when I lived in Britain, and she is always, without exception, a joy to be around. We had some hilarious, fabulous times working together, and she has become a very close friend. She is the big sister I never had, and was a sounding board for all my anxieties. In many respects we were like chalk and cheese, but like Ramona, she always gave wonderful advice, which I listened to without exception. 

    These are just two people I think about daily; there are just too many others to mention, but all of them lifted me up at times when I needed it most. Unfortunately, we don't have the same friendships here, but that is a conscious choice we both made, in order to forge a successful start to our life in Australia. It has been essential to establish ourselves, and work hard in order to succeed in this new venture. The time for friendships may or may not come, but Darrell and I have each other, and that is all that matters… For now!
    Of course, we do have our two cats to keep us company — Pippa and Akira. Darrell and I have always had cats in our life, for as long as I can remember, when living in the UK and Spain. Sadly, we lost our last two companions when we lived in Gran Alacant; if I am honest, I was reluctant to get any more animals — not because I don't like them, but because of the travelling life we have always led.

    Both of us have travelled so much over the years, we never knew where we would be from one day to the next. My life is now firmly rooted in Australia, but it isn't a country I necessarily want to live in forever. I would like to retire to Spain or Asia at some point, and having animals will make that move more difficult. In the end, however, I agreed that we couldn't live without pets, because of what may or may not happen in the future. Our two cats really do make our home, and if the opportunity to move abroad comes, then both of them will make the journey with us. These two are our children, and wherever we are, they will be too!
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    Darrell and I have rewarding, successful jobs that we love. We have managed to find the perfect careers, that we both enjoy. If I am honest, I never believed I would find a secure, well-paid position this quickly. The employment market in Western Australia is rather volatile at the moment, but we have both persevered, and settled into a positive routine, that allows us to enjoy the lifestyle we have now become accustomed to. Wages are significantly higher here, compared to the UK, and five times higher than they are in Spain — I am well aware of how lucky we are!

    Approaching my mid-fifties, I never believed I would be where I am today. I have worked in many jobs, and have always been able to adapt to my changing circumstances quickly. Today I am back doing what I love best, in a retail management capacity, working with some amazing people, who have become important to my success and wellbeing in Perth.

    In time, I hope to restart volunteering as well, rather like I did in the UK. It has always been essential for me to give something back to the community in which I live, whether through writing in local magazines or dedicating time helping others who may be going through a difficult time. For now, with changes on the horizon, I am looking forward to the new adventures to come. There are plenty more years ahead to dedicate to all the passions I have in life, including my blogging today. Until the right voluntary opportunity arises, I am happy to do the best I can, in an industry I love.
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    First and foremost, I will always be English, it is part of who I am, and I am proud of my heritage. In many respects, my home in Perth is a homage to all things British. The memories I bought with me, are a reminder of home, and the pictures and photo's that adorn my walls are distinctly European in feel. 

    Darrell and I have travelled extensively, especially in Europe, and both of us are fond of the European continent. Despite loving the UK, its politics, eccentricities, culture and society, I am also a Europhile. Both of us lived in Spain, have family in Croatia, owned a house in France, and fell in love with Sorrento in Italy. We will always be Europeans at heart and if it hadn't had been for Brexit, we would probably still be living in Spain. Having lost my Spanish residencia during the pandemic, both Darrell and I made the conscious choice to build a life away from the UK.

    With that said, I pride myself on the Britishness I hold dear, even my bad teeth. I have a painting of the late Queen on my wall, photo's of our travels around the UK on display, and of course, British staples in the pantry. I always try to buy British food in the supermarkets when I can, rather like I did in Spain, and always make a beeline for the international food isle in Coles. From Marmite, English Cheddar and Scottish Oat Cakes, to Branson Pickle, HP Sauce and Eccles Cakes, they are all there. Thankfully Aussie culture is very similar to back home, and food wise, I fit in quite well… apart that is, from the overload of Chicken Parmi in restaurants, and the fact that Australians can not cook a British Roast.

    There are many aspects of the UK I miss, but I can live the English life right here if I so chose. I have been known to watch UK TV all day and then, in the height of the Aussie summer, pop down the beach and enjoy a lifestyle most Brits could only dream of — living the best of both Worlds!
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    ... And finally, I still manage to keep fit and healthy, something I have been doing since 2019. Then I weighed a staggering 110 kg, smoked cigarettes (Up to 80 a day at one stage) and drank like a fish (a hangover from my days living in Spain and the 1 euro pints of Mahou.) After a brush with health anxiety, which I still suffer with today, I made a decision to change my lifestyle. Today I weigh 74 kg, although I have weighed as low as 70 kg, and I am not as strict as I once was. I have my good and bad days, but on average I have managed to maintain a healthy weight for five years now and have no intention of giving up.

    This week we took a walk to the John Forrest National Park for a 6 km walk. The weather was rather grey and overcast, which made me feel quite at home and was ideal weather for walking. This park reminds me of El Clot De Galvany in Spain where we used to go walking, and The New Forest back in The UK. These are the places that keep my fitness regime on track and allows me to explore the local area. 

    I still walk every day in Australia, far more than I ever did in Spain and on a par with the miles I walked when I lived in Portsmouth. I don't drive a car, nor have I ever wanted to, so walking is my main means of transport if you like. My two legs take me everywhere, and I am actually really proud of that fact. If I did drive, I believe I would be in worse physical shape today than I am — definitely overweight and most certainly a heart attack waiting to happen. Walking is somewhat of a passion now, and a pastime I intend to keep up, wherever I live.

    If these last two years in Australia have taught me anything, it's the resilience and determination I have to survive. I have had so many ups and downs in life, that a little thing, like moving to the other side of the World, wasn't going to stop me from achieving my true ambitions. I have grown to love this country, simply because it has given me everything I ever wanted, and that is important. Without Australia, I would probably still be underachieving in Portsmouth, in a country that has quite simply had its day. For the first time in a long time, I feel optimistic for the future, and can finally see light at the end of the tunnel… Life is indeed what you make it, and we are both giving it one hundred percent — things can only get better!
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    New Car, Politics, Arthritis, and The Weather!

    Australia Friends Colleagues Milestones Weight Loss Health blog
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    Once again, as I continue to recover from an arthritis flare up, this week's catch-up will be mainly in video form. I suppose as time moves on, I will be video blogging more and more. That's a little disappointing for me, since my real, true love, is writing. But I am a diarist first and foremost, so whatever medium I choose, the real satisfaction for me, is in the process of recording events, no matter how mundane they are.

    I finally found out what is going on with my left hand this week, after delaying the inevitable for too long. After seeing a hand specialist, I have a definitive answer, I actually have osteoarthritis. After the weather took a dramatic change for the worst this week, and the rain set in, I was subjected to severe pain. Really, I should have put two and two together, but once again, I just thought the worst. In many respects I was relived at the diagnosis, it could have been far worse. My anxiety told me it was Rheumatoid Arthritis, thankfully it was the lesser of two evils.

    Darrell also picked up his new car on Wednesday. After driving our old, but highly reliable car around, for a little over a year, we took the plunge and bought a brand-new MG; taking everything into consideration, buying new was the best thing to do. The new car has a seven-year warranty and cost us less than we thought. By paying outright for it, we have also saved a fortune in interest. Darrell seems very happy with it, though for me, it's just a car — The next thing on the list is a new kitchen, far more important in my book.
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    Over the last few weeks we have been able to spend some quality time with Mum and took her out for Sunday lunch on Mother's Day. My Mother in Law doesn't get out much these days, but she seemed to enjoy the short time we were out. Not venturing too far, we took her to a local pub in Midland, called 7th Avenue, which was actually surprisingly nice. I personally wouldn't choose to eat in my local city, but I may, just may, go there again.

    Of course, the day was tinged with sadness, after the loss of my own Mother in 2019. Mother's Day in Australia does fall at a different time of year than the UK, so it did feel a little strange celebrating in May. The reality is, I am just glad I still have a Mother, albeit my husband's Mum, to enjoy the day with.

    Reflecting on the last few weeks, I have had quite a productive time. My new job continues to go well, and I am enjoying my new role immensely. It does feel good to be finally established in our new home —  just me, Darrell and the cats, and now the new car. For once in our life, everything seems to be going our way. Being the realist I am, I am just waiting for the first thing to go wrong. Nevertheless, I have been told to just relax and enjoy my new life. Australia has given both of us another chance to succeed, and so far, we ain't doing too badly.
    On Sunday I was able to enjoy a few hours with ex-colleagues, now friends, from my previous job. This certainly isn't a regular occurrence, especially if one considers when I started working here in Australia. At the end of 2022, COVID restrictions had become more or less a thing of the past, but as a hangover from this time, many businesses were still conducting meetings and interviews via Zoom and other similar apps. The truth is, going forward, I believe this is how most businesses will conduct themselves indefinitely. Technology continues to move along at a frantic pace, and communicating with friends, colleagues and family, via video conferencing platforms, will almost certainly become the main way, all of us stay in contact in the future.

    Except for one occasion, I haven't met my colleagues in any social capacity, so haven't had the opportunity to forge bonds and friendships. Sunday was about spending time with those I have worked with for nearly a year and a half and interacting on an entirely different level — not on a Zoom call, telephone, or behind an LED screen.

    Despite nursing a sore head today, I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening. I haven't done an awful lot of socialising since I arrived in Western Australia, but I hope this will be the start of a regular get-together. Great conversation, good company, copious amounts of alcohol and food — the ideal recipe for the perfect evening out.
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    With winter well and truly here, I have certainly started to feel the arthritis. With a diagnosis, I can now plan my life accordingly. There are plenty of other people out there who suffer from aches and pains, and I am not anything special, but as someone who suffers with health anxiety, I understand just how much these things play on my mind.

     I never look forward to this time of year, whatever country I am living in. The older I get, the more I crave the heat and the hope is, given time, Darrell and I will eventually move somewhere hot, all year round. That's a long way in the future for now, in the meantime, like everyone else, I just have to get on with life, whatever the weather. This winging Pom isn't going to change anytime soon, so expect a lot more of the same!

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    New Challenges, Infection, Apprehension and a Suspicious Lump!

    Australia Milestones Weight Loss Health blog
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    I feel like my feet haven't touched the ground since I came home from Vietnam. What with one thing and another, I have really had a packed week; some of it good, some of it not so great. Despite everything, I am still alive and kicking, and looking forward to more challenges. After returning from holiday, I had a lot on my agenda, but nothing ever turns the way you expect, does it — this was certainly a week, where nothing went right — or rather, as planned!

    Friday was the last day in my present job; I have worked for one of Australia's largest bedding companies since January 2023 and have decided to move into a different area of retail. This was a rather heart-wrenching decision for me, since I have enjoyed working for this uniquely Australian, heritage brand, since I have been there. More than anything, I will miss the amazing people I have worked with for the last fifteen months. I was welcomed as Manager, and will leave having learnt much about the business and the people who keep it functioning on a daily basis.

    My future projects are very much centred around the same parent company I am with, but will be moving to another subsidiary of the business, once again as Store Manager. This will be a complete change from my current role, but a position that allows me to focus on a different aspect of the retail trade.

    It has been an incredible, productive time working with the team at Midland, and I am sure I will continue to achieve success in a new setting. Surrounded by the support of new colleagues, who like those at Midland, have been invaluable to the success I have achieved in Australia, I am looking forward to new challenges in 2024.
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    My last day in Midland was on Friday — it was an emotional time, as I cleared my desk, ready for the new incumbent to take charge. Saying goodbye to staff, now friends, has been a wrench, but I know this business will continue to flourish without me.  As I left the building, preparing for my new job starting on Tuesday, I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

    Since returning from Vietnam, I have been suffering from an infection of unknown origin. After grazing my arm on day one of the holiday, I did what I thought was the right thing, and covered it with a plaster. You can never be too careful when travelling in a tropical country, and I didn't want to cause any more problems; unbeknown to me, that's exactly what I was doing.

    I left the band-aid on for a couple of days, but by the time I removed it, not only was there an inflamed graze, but there were also a number of new lesions growing around it. I had a shower, cleaned the wound, and covered it once again, changing the dressing every few days. Sadly, whatever was going on, was getting worse, and by the time I returned home, this infection was looking pretty bad. By Friday, after saying my farewells to colleagues at work, I was in so much pain, I went to A&E at St John of God Hospital in Midland, hoping to be seen.

    Now this is a good hospital, but the Emergency Department was a nightmare, with up to six hours waiting ahead. I may well have been in pain, but I just wasn't prepared to wait for that length of time, in a particularly volatile and charged environment. After three hours, I decided to leave and work on a plan B.

    On Saturday morning, after a terrible nights sleep, I decided to go to St John Urgent Care. This is a privately run agency, where you can pay up to $250.00 for an appointment. Admittedly, the clinic is top class compared to ED, so I wasn't too bothered about paying the fees involved. I was first in the line and seen within 2 minutes by a Doctor. He took one look at the lesions and lump under my arm, and immediately referred me to Hospital, since this was too complex for them to deal with. He explained it shouldn't be too busy at this time, and I will probably go straight through. Reluctantly, I left, and headed back to Hospital a short walk away.

    The Doctor at the Urgent Care Unit was right, I went straight in and through to see a consultant, who looked at the two problems I was dealing with. After checking the lump under my arms, she said that it should be removed ASAP. Now, judging by British NHS standards, I was expecting this to be carried out in a few months. However she explained, I would be taken down to theatre within the hour, given a general anaesthetic, and it would be 'whipped out' straight away. Shocked at the expeditiousness, I signed the consent form and waited to be taken down.
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    The standard of service and speed of the treatment I received was exceptional. I was allocated my own private room before and after the operation, given a rather large hot meal that tasted delicious, and free access to television while I recovered. I was obviously a little alarmed at how quick this lump was removed, thinking the worst, but I have been reassured that this is standard practice here in Australia. Everything was so fast, it was impressive. Now, I just have to wait for the results of the operation to come back. Then I should find out what the infection is and what the lump was; until then it's another waiting game.

    I have been given a week off work and have delayed starting my new job until next week. At the moment a carer is attending every morning to dress the wounds, which appear to be fine, healing nicely and certainly not giving me any pain. For now, I need to spend the time recuperating and recovering, from this impromptu operation.

    I will be walking every morning as part of that recovery, having been told it will be good for convalescence. Physical exercise accelerates the healing process by 25%, so that gives me the excuse to continue with a good, healthy exercise regime.

    I have to say, this has knocked me for six a bit, but it does go to show, that sometimes the health anxiety I suffer from, is a good thing. Something told me what was happening to me wasn't normal, and pushed me to get it seen too immediately, and thankfully I did. Since losing so much weight and looking after myself, I have become far more bodily aware, and that is welcome, because for the first time in my life, I am actually doing something right! Today I may well be feeling under the weather, but because I am fitter and healthier, I am able to deal with whatever comes my way, that much better. Looking after yourself shouldn't be a chore, it should be a life enhancing experience.

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