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    Reflections, Three Years On!

    I haven't composed a written blog in a while, so I've decided to put pen to paper, as it were, and write a few words today. Enjoying a long weekend, does afford me the opportunity to sit and think about what to say. I suppose you could call today's blog, 'non-specific', because today I am writing down, what ever comes to mind — off the cuff comments about my life in Australia, and just how I'm feeling this weekend.

    Darrell and I have been in Australia for a little over three years now and have achieved a lot during our time in Perth. More than anything, we are lucky enough to have been able to buy a house, at a time when Australia is suffering from a housing crisis, worse than anything in The UK. Recently, I was told in no uncertain terms, that in all probability, I wouldn't be able to buy a house in Perth today, and it's easy to see why.

    Prices are out of control in this isolated part of the world. Since COVID-19, the lack of housing has become a crisis. Perth itself has the most expensive rental market in the whole country, and prices are rising faster than inflation. A house like ours would let easily for $600 a week, and I just can't imagine how anyone can afford to rent a property here, let alone buy one.

    Since buying our current home, the value has more than doubled and continues to rise daily. I remember when we first moved here, applying for flats to rent, joining long queues of people waiting to view this property or that, and thinking to myself, what a mistake we had made moving to Australia. Thankfully, we didn't have to rent, and after speaking to our amazing Bank Manager, we were more than able to afford to buy a three-bedroom villa, near to Darrell's Mum.

    Of course, I have filled our house with lots of stuff, as you would expect from a maximalist like me, and it feels very much like a home now. We haven't done much to this place since moving in, preferring instead to spend our money on travelling. Look, I would love to have a perfectly polished home, but at my age, I believe it is more important to enjoy life, and use our house in Western Australia as a base. The villa is large by British standards, functional, and offers us all the space we need. Darrell has one side of the house and I have the other, which works out fantastically well for us.

    Despite being settled and secure, we continue to regard travel as our number one priority. Living in Australia can of course make this rather challenging, especially when you live in Perth. However, we are spending our time travelling through Asia, which just happens to be our favourite part of the World. To date we have seen most countries in the region, and will be exploring Japan early next year. Eventually we would like to travel further afield, but as a nervous flyer, I would rather stay within a 5 or six hour flight limit. Japan is certainly a longer journey than this, but it is a destination on both our bucket lists, that we need to see before we get too old.

    In 2027, I plan to fly back to the UK to see my Father and possibly attend my 40th school reunion. This will give me an opportunity to catch up with friends and family also, and hopefully stop off in Europe along the way. It is true to say I miss my country of birth, but I really miss Europe even more. Having lived in Spain for several years, I understand the European way of life and crave the lifestyle it offers.

    Australia is so far from the rest of the World, that at times it feels like a whole different planet. Despite our two countries English roots, we are poles apart in every other respect. Australians are very insular people and not as welcoming as the British, or indeed the Expat community in Spain. Darrell and I do feel extremely lonely at times and look back to our days living in Southampton, Portsmouth, and Gran Alacant with fondness. Someone once asked me if I loved Australia; after thinking about it for a minute, I had to say no! I like this country for everything it has done for me and the opportunities it has given both of us, but I hate the loneliness and the deep sense of loss I feel.

    If circumstances had been different, Darrell and I wouldn't be here. We would still be happily (or not) living in Britain, surrounded by friends and family. I'm not sure our lives would be as comfortable as they are now, but we would have a large network of contacts around us. As I grow older, I find people more important, and I wish we had a wider circle of friends. It is difficult for outsiders to make strong connections here, especially at 55 years old. As a wise Australian once confirmed, Aussies make their friends in high school and tend not to deviate from that group. When two older gay men arrive from Europe, with little or no support, then life is going to be tough —certainly tougher than it would have been, had we stayed in Britain.

    ​As Darrell and I look forward to a new adventure in May, travelling to Osaka and Kyoto, we are both aware of just how far we have come in such a short space of time. Naturally we are grateful to Australia for all it has given us, as we navigate this new life down under, but we are also regretful for everyone we have left behind. I miss my Father every day and always look forward to hearing from friends back home. I am sad we don't have a satisfying lifestyle here, but I hope, even now, given time, that will change. In the meantime, both of us will continue to strive for a better and more productive future. Keeping our hopes and dreams alive, at a time when we need them most, is important — we obviously have each other, Mum, and a few close friends. These are quite simply the people who matter, everything else takes second place.
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    Day 2 - The day we met, 30 years ago: reliving old memories!

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    Well, there you have it, Darrell and I have reached another milestone in our life together. Today we celebrated 30 years together as a couple, and ten years married. I never thought I would be saying that after the trials and tribulations we have suffered throughout our life. With the memories of our relationship firmly on both our minds, we decided to take a trip down memory lane and revisit some of our old Bangkok favourites, that have played such a large role in our recent history.

    When we left the UK in 2022, we first visited family in Croatia and then took a trip to Thailand. We fell in love with this Asian country almost straight away and have been back twice since. Bangkok remains our destination of choice. This vibrant, busy city is so full on, in contrast to our Western Australian home, that it hurts. Both of us prefer the bright lights of city life, and coming here always reminds us of the life we once led — not so long ago.
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    We began the day by taking a river cruise along the Chao Phraya River in Bangkok. This really is a special place, and a great experience to enjoy, relax and unwind. Today the temperature was a perfect 26 degrees, although it did feel a hell of a lot hotter, with the humidity in the 90s. This is of course in stark contrast to Western Australia. 26 degrees down under, can, and often does, feel positively freezing. Being a desert, WA just doesn't have the humidity Thailand does. The dry heat during the day can feel cold at night. I have personally always preferred humid climbs, which is probably why I love Bangkok so much!

    ​As we cruised along the Chao Phraya, it was fantastic seeing all the old sites once again: The Grand Palace, and of course Wat Arun where we stopped at to take a walk down memory lane. This is probably the most famous Wat or temple in Bangkok and is richly decorated in colourful, distinctive Thai style; it is a wondrous sight as you travel up the river. This is a destination I would come back to time and time again and is always bursting with many happy memories!
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    As I got off the boat, I banged my elbow on the side of the rather dirty counter and immediately panicked. This was the very elbow, I was being so careful to protect, after contracting a severe strain of staphylococcus aureus on the last two holidays we went on, in exactly the same place. I could not believe it. After all the preparation and careful planing, I had once again whacked the same elbow — my heart literally sank.

    Thankfully, I was carrying some antiseptic with me, which I quickly sprayed over the now painful graze, and we quickly got back on the boat, heading towards Icon Siam. Here I managed to find a Boots Pharmacy and grabbed some cream and plasters. This time, I am doing everything I can to stop any infection in its tracks. At the moment it is looking rather dodgy, but, with my bag of medical supplies, I am just praying nothing bad will happen. Known me, however, it will, and I'm truly holding my breath!
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    Arriving at Icon Siam, Darrell wanted one of their famous shaved ice desserts, which are legendary in Bangkok and they taste bloody lovely. They are a little pricey, however, but when one of these refreshing confections is enough for two or even three people, they are certainly great value for money.

    Icon Siam is probably the most expensive shopping mall in Bangkok, full of designer shops, and high value goods for sale. It is worth having a wonder around this vast complex, however, as the food court on the ground floor is pretty reasonably priced. There is also a large market inside selling local Thai handicrafts and art, also on the bottom floor. The luxury air-conditioned building, is the perfect place to keep cool for a few hours, while window shopping for some luxuries, that Darrell and I, certainly wouldn't be able to afford. It is nice to dip in every now and again, just to see how the other half live!
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    After a quick walk to the famous Khaosan Road to get some souvenirs and a quick snack, we popped back to the hotel to freshen up before heading to, So Samsen, for our anniversary meal. This was the part of the holiday I was really looking forward to, and I wasn't disappointed.

    The wonderful owner, Aom, had arranged a bottle of bubbly for Darrell and me, which was a lovely gesture from a welcoming and friendly host. Aom has always been an absolute pleasure to talk with, offering some friendly advice and often chatting about life in Thailand. I have always found Thai people extremely courteous and affable — nothing is too much for them, and they just want to be sure you are enjoying their country and hospitality, that they are rightly proud of; after all, they don't call Thailand the land of smiles for nothing.

    We spent a good few hours drinking wine and a few pints of Chang, while chatting with the staff and other customers. Sat there looking out across the road, with a busy 7-Eleven opposite, watching urban life pass by, I was reminded by the vivacity, energy, and exuberance this city offers. I am indeed a fan of urban life, because of the many wonderful characters you meet, each with their own story to tell.

    Bangkok is a manic cosmopolitan city, encompassing tourists from every corner of the globe. For that reason alone, it is worth visiting. For us returning year after year, we are transported back to our happy place, after leaving adverse times in Portsmouth in 2022, before we started our new life down under. Back then, as now, Aom and the girls offered us a comfortable setting in which to sit and unwind, after one of the most turbulent years of our life.

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    So Samsen, was the only choice for us to return to on our 30th Anniversary. This was us coming home to see old friends in a setting we adore. The Michelin Star food is without exception the best we have tasted in Bangkok, and I always look forward to my time here. This was indeed another memory made, as we enter the fourth decade of our life together. We are of course a lot older than we were — our aches and pains get more every day, and the simpler things in life are all that matters now. This is a holiday we have been planning for a long time, and it is also the end of one life and the beginning of something new, as we gently drift into older age!
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    From So Samsen, we took a brisk walk to the colourful Khaosan Road, to say farewell to this special part of Bangkok, before we leave tomorrow morning. Heading to Soi 11, right in the centre of the city, we will continue the rest of our time in Bangkok, until we leave for Singapore on Sunday!
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    Roaming Brit - Ten Years in The Making!

    I'm currently in the middle of writing a book, so I'll keep the words brief tonight. This year I will have been blogging for ten years; 2025 is a very important time for many reasons, my blogging anniversary being one. I have also been together with Darrell for three decades, and of course, we have been married ten years. So, this is a chunky, packed milestone for us, and we are both going to pack in as much as possible until our Anniversary trip to Thailand and Singapore in September.

    The reasons I started blogging, were born from adverse events. Suffering at the hands of bullies, I decided to start writing my feelings down — part of a process to understand just what was happening to me at the time. It is only today, ten years later, that I have started to reread my blogs from 2015, and they make for interesting reading.

    To be perfectly honest, the original reasons I started blogging no longer exist. The bullying that both my partner and I suffered, is long gone, as are the people who systematically orchestrated the pain, we went through. Today my life is far more successful and happier than it was in 2015, so despite them succeeding in driving us away, towards a new life far away from the UK, they failed to destroy us as a couple. As a result of their abuse, now we are both stronger, wiser and far more aware, of the more sinister elements, society can throw our way. The worst year in my life, made us the people we are now, and I couldn't be prouder of how far we have come!

    Blogging was a way of keeping my mind active during a terribly difficult period. It allowed me to address the reasons behind the challenging circumstances, we were in the middle of, and try to make sense of the bullying and torment we were dealing with on a daily basis. At the time, I never really reached any firm conclusions as to the bullies motives, but I did lay some rather nasty demons to rest.

    Over time, my blog has changed. It is no longer a space full of anger and anxiety; today it is a happy place. Roaming Brit is a rare thing in 2025 — it is a personal blog, a daily diary of my life — currently in Australia. Personal blogging is no longer as popular as it once was, as bloggers channel their efforts into more revenue based online ventures. So for me, I am continuing to do something I love, more than making money off the back of my writing. Being happy and content is all that matters. This is a passion, a love, and a part of who I am.

    From adverse times, Roaming Brit has evolved into a magazine, consisting of short stories, travels logs and vlogs, contributions from guest bloggers and of course my weekly musings on everything from politics and current affairs to LGBTQIA+ issues and health. Today I write about whatever is on my mind at the time. It is a hobby that keeps me grounded, in touch with my own feelings and emotions, and has brought me into contact with many interesting people over the years. Many of those I have met through the blogging World, have become good friends and have supported me on this ten year journey of discovery.

    To end this short blog today, I just want to thank all of you for following my ramblings, social media accounts and YouTube channel. You have made this decade an amazing, productive and busy time, and I am grateful you have been with me on this rather rocky rollercoaster ride. I have no plans to stop writing anytime soon, you will be pleased to hear; I look forward to the next decade and beyond, and hope Roaming Brit continues to go from strength to strength, as I know it will! Blogging is a way of life, it is in my genes, it has become the life force that keeps me going and the blood that flows through my veins!
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    Biopsy Results!

    When you are confronted by the 'C' word — Cancer, you really can't predict how you will react. All of us are different. When you are told you may have that disease, you deal with it however you can. As a sufferer of health anxiety, I didn't cope with the prospect of having skin cancer too well. To say I was devastated, would be an understatement. All week I have been traumatised, living on nervous energy, and existing, like every day was my last.

    This week has been hell, I really haven't known whether I am coming or going. I have very much lived in a bubble. I haven't spoken to anyone, including my husband, preferring to stay quiet — alone with my thoughts I was trying to come to terms with a diagnosis, before actually being diagnosed. In my mind, I had cancer and in my head, I was preparing for the worst case scenario. My mental health is quite simply in bits; I feel like I have run a marathon, haven't slept for weeks and literally been through the mill. I am shattered, tired and absolutely exhausted. This has been a hellish week and one I just want to forget.

    The biopsy, itself, has really just been an inconvenience. It is in an awkward spot, in the middle of my back, which is making it really difficult to heal. Whether carrying a bag to work, sleeping in a bed, or sitting on a chair, the friction caused is just exacerbating the problem. I do have some pain from the site itself and having to put on a smiling face each day, has been difficult — especially after recovering from COVID.

    My consultant at the mole scan clinic said, the results would be back within a few weeks, and that immediately sent me into panic mode. Health anxiety doesn't make allowances for diagnostic results. Each day of the waiting process is worse than the one before. For me, the 'not knowing' has been the worst part of this whole sorry episode. I can cope with the pain of a biopsy, even the threat of a positive cancer result, but the waiting period, for an anxiety sufferer, is a killer. I might as well lock myself away for a week — functioning at any semblance of normality, has been hard, and I have made myself ill just thinking about the consequences.

    Within a few working days, my results had dropped into my health app on my phone. I immediately phoned the clinic for answers, to no avail. The Doctor hadn't looked at them yet, let alone analysed them. Despite pushing as hard as I could, the receptionist just couldn't give me any more information. Of course, my anxiety just increased, as I wondered why the results were not being released — 'what were they hiding!'

    The next day, I phoned once more, and again I was given the same answer. The Clinician would phone me as soon as they knew, but 'rest assured they will do it in a timely manner.' This did bugger all to stem my apprehension, and I was probably more concerned than ever. Anxiety is a vicious cycle, as I found out this week, both physically and mentally, taking its toll. Anticipating these results has been lonely and extremely painful. I have lost three kilograms in weight and I look particularly tired and gaunt. Every morning I woke up at 1.30am, sweating, with a fast heartbeat, which as you can imagine, did nothing to alleviate my fears of a positive diagnosis.

    By the end of the day, after my second phone call, the Doctor phoned back, while I was in the middle of some end of day paperwork. My heart immediately sank. However, she immediately told me the lesion on my back was benign and referred to it as 'fibrosis.' You just can't imagine the relief I felt at that moment — all of my anxiety immediately disappeared; I felt like a new man!

    I resisted the temptation to research fibrosis on Dr Google, not wanting to detract from the good news, at least temporarily. After telling Darrell and my father the good news, I slept like a baby. Yes, I woke up at stupid O'clock in the morning, but there was no sweat, fast heartbeat nor anxiety, and I fell back asleep straight away. It was clear, I was going to live another day, and the relief was palpable.

    As ever, with health anxiety, within 24 hours, I was concerned about another pain, this time under my tongue. Whilst searching a possible Squamous cell carcinoma diagnosis, just a few days before, some rather uncomfortable photos of affected tongues came up in my news feed, so I naturally jumped on the anxiety bandwagon once again. This time, however, I immediately jumped off; so far, ten days later, I am feeling chipper, in good spirits and avoiding the anxiety cycle of despair. Thankfully, so far, I am no longer dwelling on the worst life throws my way.

    Thank you for all your messages of support and for just being there when I needed it most. This time I was lucky, when so many others are not. To all of you suffering with a cancer diagnosis: you are truly amazing people; your stories have helped me, during a particularly challenging time, and for that I am extremely grateful. Keep fighting, keep the faith — Health and happiness to you all!
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    Goodbye Aunty My!

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    Today has been filled with mixed emotions, as I heard of the death of one of my dearest friends from the UK. Aunty My, as I called her, was a lady I had known for about twenty-five years and someone I loved with all my heart. After reposting a photo of me, Myra, and her sister Jean, on Facebook, I was informed that Myra passed away at the end of March. I was totally devastated and upset — this was a lady who I regarded as family, along with her sister Jean. She was a friend with a heart of gold, who I can't believe has left this mortal coil.

    I have lost count of the number of people who have died, while Darrell and I have been living abroad. Sometimes it feels that everyone who has ever been close to us, are no longer here; the passing of friends, no matter how close, never fails to pull at my heart strings. Aunty My was a wonderful lady, who I had some truly wonderful times with, We would often go out on the lash, (an English saying for going out to get drunk), ending up in a curry house or club afterwards. I have so many happy memories of her and all of us together, that I just don't know where to begin, but begin I will. She deserves to be remembered, as one of the most caring and supportive people you could ever wish to have in your life, and that was so important to me, especially in recent years.

    I suppose when I was younger, I was somewhat of a social butterfly, unlike today. Darrell and I would frequently throw large, lavish fancy dress parties in our house in Southampton. So many friends and family would come, dressed in fabulous costumes — we would party the night away, until the early hours; happy times filled with laughter, music and over the top camp partying.  Myra and her sister Jean would always be there celebrating landmark Birthdays, royal weddings and anniversaries. All of my memories from twenty years ago, include Aunty My — in all but name, she was family and a huge part of my life.

    As my life changed and Darrell and I moved away to Spain, Aunty Myra, was still there, messaging, chatting, and always sending her love. Not long after we moved to our new house in Gran Alacant, I recall receiving a message from Myra and Jean, who were at Alicante Airport. If I remember rightly, there had been a problem with their booking at a hotel in Benidorm, not too far from where we lived. Myra asked if they could crash for a few days while they sorted out somewhere to stay — well, of course, how could I say no. I was delighted they were coming my way!

    Seeing them both turn up in a taxi outside our Spanish casa, was an absolute joy; I was so glad to see these two friends, so rooted in the story of my life, waving outside. After the traumatic circumstances, that brought us to Gran Alacant, nearly ten years ago now, It was so good to see friendly faces. I spent five wonderful days with My and Jean, at a time when I needed it most.

    ​In 2018 my time in Spain came to an end, as Darrell and I separated to be with our respective Mothers. My Mother and Darrell's Mum were seriously ill, and the only thing we could do was leave our dream home and, in my case, be close to Mum during her final days. It was a sad ending to our deeply personal journey, to a new life in Gran Alacant, that we haven't fully recovered from, even today.

    It was a frantic time, as I tried to sort out somewhere to stay in the UK on my return. Aunty Myra immediately stepped up, saying I could stay for as long as I wanted. Towards the end of May, after an emotional farewell to friends in Spain, I arrived at Myra's. There was a massive hug and a home cooked meal on the table — I truly felt happy, content and thankful to be with someone, who always made me feel welcome. 

    From Myra's I moved on to my Aunty's in Portsmouth; all the while we kept in contact, never losing that connection we had built up over many years. She was a real support during some difficult days. While Darrell remained in Australia caring for his Mum, I was so glad she was at the end of a phone.

    ​In 2020 the Pandemic took hold, and the World shut down. This was the most difficult time in my life. Darrell was locked down in Australia, and I was locked down in the UK. Alone, I reached out to Myra, and throughout the duration of COVID-19 we spoke every single week. I knew then just how sick Myra was. She had COPD, and I could tell how each phone call, would be more difficult than the last. She insisted I kept phoning, however, and not to stop. We talked about everything, from the Pandemic and the emergency packages she received every couple of days from a local charity, her beautiful family, and the memories we both shared. This was someone who was fighting harder and harder, and I encouraged her to be positive, happy, and always look to the future — God knows she tried, bless her!

    The last time I heard from Myra was at Christmas, as I did every year, receiving her neatly written card. This was a security blanket for me at least. This card was a link to my past that was no longer there, and I bloody missed it, and her, her sister Jean, and the great, memorable times we had together. I can't tell you the amount of times, I just wanted to go back to what was the happiest time in my life. However, having a little piece of Myra here with me in Australia, was just enough to jog my memory and keep me fighting, just as she had fought for so long.

    ​COPD is an insidious disease — one day you feel fine, the next not. Sometimes Myra was full of life on the phone, and others not, but she was still the happy, glamorous, perfectly manicured lady, I had always adored. I just hoped and prayed she would be fine, putting the worst outcome to the back of my mind, until today. I will miss her with all my heart, and will put her last Christmas card up every year, next to Mums. Remembering her, and the zest she had for life, will be a gentle reminder of the funny, beautiful lady she was, and I was honoured to call her my friend.
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    We spent Saturday afternoon with an old school friend of Darrell's, having lunch in Mandurah, along the coast. Despite feeling down about Myra, I was glad of the company. Initially, I just wanted to be alone, but I am glad I went. In my heart I toasted Myra, her life and our friendship. Like me, she enjoyed a beer or two, so it felt apt, to be sat in a bar by the sea in Australia, thinking about her and the memories we shared. She was a truly remarkable lady, who always looked out for me and Darrell, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

    Each loss of a friend hits me harder than the last. Myra's has been the hardest of all, but after everything she had been through in her life, I know she has gone to a much better place. As I have gotten older, I realise just how important people are to me now. I have made my family over the years, not in the traditional sense, but through choice, mutual love and respect, and of course out of fate. Fate has brought all of us together — a hodgepodge of diverse individuals who, under normal circumstances, wouldn't have ever met. Thankfully, we did, and I am able to write about Aunty Myra today.

    My life became a little lonelier today, less rich, emptier, and a hell of a lot sadder. Rest in Peace, Aunty Myra — you touched my heart, which is why it hurts so badly. Without you, my life would have been all the poorer; your memory will live on, your laugher will continue to fill my home, and your kindness and courage will be a reminder of how brave you were, and how loved you will always be… Goodnight, Aunty My, sleep well!

    … And finally — Thank you all for your Birthday messages. I no longer celebrate in the same way I used to. At 54 years old, I have become rather distant from significant milestones, that just add more years to one's life. With the death of Myra fresh in my mind, my Birthday serves as a reminder, to live my life in the best way I can…
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