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I was supposed to finish this blog entry last night, however, I literally must have passed out where I was so tired. It's now 5.15am in the morning, and I have had a wonderful night of sleep, on what is probably the comfiest bed I have ever slept in; it was like sleeping on a cloud — or maybe, that's because I was just so tired.
Our day started relatively late yesterday. We had a midnight flight from Perth international airport, and as usual, we were there with plenty of time to spare. I am a person who is always early; I have never been late for anything in my life — so we arrived by taxi at just after 8pm. At nearly $50 AUD for a taxi from our house to Perth international, it isn't cheap, but then nor is Australia in general; The reality is, I think we are both just grateful to be leaving Perth for a bit. After one of the wettest winters we have had in years, it felt good to be going somewhere hot, if a Little rain soaked at times. Taiwan does have its fair share of wet weather, it has to be said, but this green, lush country is a must-visit place for Darrell and me, and somewhere we have wanted to go for a very long time.We had a few beers at the airport, and some rather expensive, mediocre food. Despite the usual moans and groans about cost, it always feels great to be sat in an airport, waiting to get away. When we lived in Europe, we travelled a hell of a lot. With shorter distances between countries, it was easy to just pack up and leave for a while, getting a cheap flight to this place or that. In Australia, it is obviously a very different, considered purchase, and even though we do make sure we try to go on holiday twice a year, it really doesn't feel enough!
We flew to Taipei on Cathay Pacific — cattle class as usual. There is no way I am paying for business class; I would rather suffer for the few hours involved, then pay a fortune for something, that in my humble opinion, isn't worth it.
To put it in some kind of context: As we boarded the plane, business class looked radiant, shiny and a bit posh, but in reality, as we exited, after the seven-hour flight, it looked worse than economy, where we were. I remember thinking to myself — 'whoever you are, whatever class you maybe, you will still end up in the same dilapidated mess in the end.' This is as true for a flight, as it is in life. It felt good to have just paid a fraction of the price, then those with more money did… Even if I was wealthy, I'd never pay the huge costs involved; I'll always be a tight wod in that respect!
The flight itself was pretty uneventful, and I even managed to watch a film, something I never do. Readers of Roaming Brit understand just how much of a nervous flyer I am, so being relaxed enough to do anything on a flight, is pretty unusual in itself. Have you heard of the term 'raw dogging' a flight, well that is generally what I do — basically nothing. I sit there with my hands firmly gripping the arm rests of the seat; feeling every twist and turn, I hold on for dear life. This time it was different, I managed to watch the screen in front of me, focused and calm. I watched the film 'Civil War,' which was a bit gory for me, but nevertheless, I enjoyed it, more than I thought I would.
Darrell mind you was not happy. He detested the flight, dropping airline food down his clothes, squashed in the middle of me and a Taiwanese gentleman, and unable to sleep whatsoever. I on the other hand, managed to get a little shut-eye. With turbulence at a minimum, which was unusual on a flight in South East Asia, I felt relaxed enough to be able to drift off, even for just a short while.We arrived in Hong Kong for a two-hour stop-over, at about 7.30am. We managed to get through security relatively quickly and without any fuss, and through to the well catered for transit area. Now, Hong Kong is one of my favourite airports. There is always something to do there, and it has amazing facilities and shopping. It is a great stop-over destination as well; if we had had more time, we would have probably stayed a few days, but it was nice just sat there for a few hours before our next flight to Taipei.
The journey to Taipei took just over an hour. The flight itself was a little more turbulent than the other one from Perth, but we arrived in good shape, early, and relatively unscathed. This was the worrying flight for me, since China has been doing military exercises off the coast of Taiwan and with tensions across the World rising, my anxious mind obviously thought the worst, as it always does.
After passing though Boarder Control, without incident, we walked outside into the warm, tropical air. It felt good to be back in Asia again. I do love the climate here, more than anywhere else in the World, and thirty degree plus heat, does suit my constitution these days. Half an hour later we were on the MRT train, travelling to Taipei main station, and our hotel in the centre of the city.
The transport system here is great — we were quickly ushered onto a train for the 45-minute ride. We took the express train, which missed out most of the stops, but sadly we had to stand all the way. This isn't unusual for Taipei. This is a big, populated city, and most people use the train system to get around. Feeling exhausted after our flight, I think I can safely say, this isn't a trip you want to do, with little or no sleep. Slipping and sliding around a train carriage, full of people, with sparse seating, isn't for the faint-hearted. Nevertheless, we were able to look out of the windows, at the green lush vegetation pass by. This is an extremely wet, tropical region, and the green hills and mountains are really a site to behold.From Taipei main station, we got on a commuter train, on the Bannan line, to our hotel. It was literally one stop away. It was fascinating to see people queuing patiently within lines, not deviating or encroaching on someone else's space, When the train arrived, we all walked calmly to the doors; there was no pushing or shoving and everyone was so well-mannered. Can you imagine seeing this in central London or New York?
Although the system seems modern on the surface, with large gates preventing you from falling from the platform, the trains themselves aren't particularly modern. From my recollection of Bangkok, and the BTS Sky Train there, the MTR appears to be older, and the trains are not in the best condition. It was, however, an easy system to navigate, once we had got the hang of it. Darrell does these things far better than I, who can't even read a map, so I left him to work out where we were going, to differing degrees of success.We are staying at The Hotel Cozzie, a modern boutique hotel in the Shandao Temple area of Taipei. It is clean, modern, and perfectly appointed. When one considers the lack of good hotel rooms in Taipei, I think this place is perfect. Hotel rooms are very expensive, because of the lack of space here. Before I booked the Cozzi, I remember seeing rooms which were small, had few facilities, and in some cases didn't even have a window. Here, were had three windows, a large suite by Taiwanese standards, and even a bath in the bathroom; I couldn't be happier.
If there was one criticism I had, it was the lights everywhere. Even when you turn all the lights off using the switches next to the bed, the buttons themselves were still illuminated all night, which meant the room was overly bright for me; as someone who prefers darkness, it did make it difficult to stay asleep at times. Otherwise, it was perfect, and we both slept in the huge bed, like a dream.
By the time we were both rested after our long journey, we were both ready for bed. However, we did venture out briefly to the Shilin night market, just to have a brief look around, with a view to return today, for some authentic street food. The market only takes cash, so we couldn't really buy dinner there. We only had large denomination notes of a $1000 Taiwanese, and with prices at an average of $40, we decided to go and eat in a more expensive restaurant near our hotel. Even then, however, we ended up paying just $39 Aud for a nice meal and beer.
With day one at a close, we came back for an early night. I did sit for a while looking out at the vibrant city outside, as I prepared my blog for today. The streets were packed full of people and cars, bustling and full of life. This is why I like Asia; unlike Australia, where the city streets are quiet, Asian cities, make you feel alive and give you a real zest for life. The more time I spend in this part of the World, the more I fall in love with it. This is of course only our first day in Taipei, but I am hopeful the rest of our stay will be as magical as the first.
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Age came rushing head long into my life this week, and, thankfully, not for the wrong reasons. A friend from the UK who I haven't seen in 34 years was in Perth, and I knew I had to see him.
Back in the dim and distant past, Wayne and I had a very close friendship, established during our time working together in the Civil Service. Despite losing touch for many years, I was determined to reconnect, and rekindle what is an important relationship. After not seeing each other for so long, I was worried by what could happen. Would he still be the same person? Would we still have a connection? And can you really rebuild a friendship after a decade and a half apart!
Wayne and I met in 1990, at a time of great change for me. I was evolving from being a shy teenager, into a deeply sentimental young man, with the weight of the World on my shoulders. Wayne was someone who taught me much about life, and for a period of time we were inseparable. Of course, a lot has happened between then and now, but when someone leaves significant footprints on your heart, you know you have to make the effort!
Back in the early 1990s, I had a small group of friends from college. After the odd afternoon out at The Jolly Sailor, our local hostelry of choice, they would drop me off at Wayne's house in Gosport, where I would try to sober up, before heading home. Wayne looked after me in some terrible states. He made sure I was fed and watered, and we formed a close bond. Our friendship was brief on the scale of things, but it was also very important. Sadly, we lost contact, as Wayne moved away, and my life took me to University in Southampton.
Of course, a lot happened in the intervening years; I met Darrell and settled down, and With the birth of social media, I tried my luck, to see if I could find Wayne, initially on 'Friends Reunited.' I successfully found him, after a long time searching, and we finally got in touch once again.
Now comes the weird bit — during the time when Wayne and I weren't in touch, like me, he had relationships, different jobs, and oddly, he was living in Spain, at exactly the same time I was. Even more mind-blowing, is he was in a relationship with one of Darrell's best friends from school. Of all the people in the World, this was an unexpected connection, that fate appeared to be responsible for. You have to remember, during this period, Wayne and I were not in touch, and we only found out this mutual link relatively recently… Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, just to keep you on your toes.
This was a bizarre twist of fate, that on the surface at least, appeared to be just too much of a coincidence. However, it was, and here we were, 34 years later, chatting about it, sat outside The Belgian Beer Café, in Murray street, ten thousand kilometres from home, where I first met him, just after leaving school…
This brings me nicely on to my vlog this week. After seeing Wayne, I realised just how old I was. Wayne was still the same person I knew all those years ago, I could tell instantly from his smile; our conversation was just like picking up from where we last left off, but we were both older, much, much older, and different in so many ways. Age, for me, is quite a traumatic thing — it is a sore subject, that I do my best to avoid. I never want to admit my age to myself, but, seeing someone from your past, allows you to reevaluate just what growing old means.
Those 34 years have gone so fast, yet It really does feel just like yesterday and in many respects, it scares me that I am now in my mid-fifties. In another 34 years, in all likelihood, I'll be dead… We really are on this planet, for such a brief period of time, just the blink of an eye!
Despite my own feelings on age, It was nice to see someone from my past. I guess that is the point you realise just how far you have come in life. The 1990s were great years for me personally, and I look back with fondness at a time that allowed me to finally come out and be the person I was always destined to be. I am not in contact with many friends from that period, so it was even more important to cement a bond that would otherwise have been lost — Social media really does have a lot to answer for. It can be responsible for conflict, abuse, bullying and resentment, but it can also bring people together in a rewarding and tangible way. It's good to have Wayne back in my life, even if it has made me question for fast approaching, inevitable and challenging old age. Furthermore, it is the reopening of a story that I had believed was over, and the beginning of another chapter, and a second chance at a friendship that I had thought had gone away!
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I try to do things to ease my anxiety, just to take the edge off the way I'm feeling. Escaping to the city, is one of those rare occasions, that helps me to relax. This huge metropolis, full of tall, imposing buildings, is actually a great place to unwind. The streets are almost always empty, and unlike London, I don't feel stressed walking around. Perth may well be the capital city of Western Australia, but it is actually one of the most isolated cities in the World. Consequently, it has a village vibe — small and intimate in nature and generally devoid of people, and the inevitable anti-social behaviour that tends to follow. After two years away from the UK, it almost, yes, almost, feels like home!
In this week's vlog, I'm talking about anxiety, and how it affects my life on a daily basis. From the physical to the mental symptoms, the feelings are very real, even if they are mostly benign in nature. I have suffered from this debilitating condition for as long as I can remember. I must stress, that this video is not about solutions to anxiety, because I really don't have any. Furthermore, I am only now learning about the science behind it, so I don't expect a quick fix anytime soon.
What this vlog aims to do, is show others that you aren't alone, there are people, like me, out there, who also suffer from anxious feelings. Maybe you can relate to some of the difficulties I have shared, or maybe you can offer me solutions and answers for why I feel the way I do.
Problem sharing is a great way to deal with often complex health issues, that have no easy cure. Just because I don't show outward physical signs of illness, it doesn't mean there isn't anything bubbling under the surface. It is true to say, I am not suffering from a painful life limiting condition, or a disease that I have to physically manage on a daily basis. I am, however, learning to cope with an unseen, hidden disorder, that manifests in many different ways.
Defining how I feel is often hard, I can't always describe my state of mind, and that in itself causes concern. With self-help, care, and a blossoming ability to seek out answers, I hope to begin the process of recovering sufficiently, to lead a happy, normal life. This is of course a learning curve. The anxiety I feel changes daily and until I understand the processes at work, that make me who I am, I will continue to muddle through as best I can… What else can I do?
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Today, we are celebrating our 29th Wedding Anniversary — a life sentence by anyone's standards. After another exhausting year, we are still together, still going strong, and above all, still striving for a better future.
From its very inception, our relationship was tested to its limits. We have both been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, as we navigated the ups and downs of married life. Of course, our time together hasn't been conventional in any sense of the word. When you fall in love with someone overseas, you become part of a system that seeks only to keep you apart.
As a same-sex couple, who met in 1995, we were under no illusions about the difficulties we would face. Homosexual relationships, such as ours, were not recognised in law, and we fought hard to avoid separation, finally being allowed to stay together in The UK in 2000.
Today is about celebrating another important milestone in our life, as partners together, and, as we look forward to our 30th anniversary next year, we are mindful of the challenges still to come. In two years time, I will finally become an Australian citizen and for the first time in our life as a couple, we can both relax, taking a huge sigh of relief. Knowing the legal constraints that have literally kept us on our toes, all these years, have been lifted, and our life has become 'normal again' (the first time in over 30 years), will be a weight lifted. No longer checked at every twist and turn, just allowed to settle down together, and become the couple we have always dreamt of being!
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After a walk to Woodbridge Lake yesterday morning, I was left, with memories of Britain very much in the forefront of my mind. It doesn't take much to trigger a memory, from my time living in the UK, and the lake does particularly remind me of home — so much so, I can almost taste the English country air.
Spring has sprung in Western Australia — the sites and smells of this rather short season, down under, plays beautifully with the senses. Woodbridge has a distinctly British feel, and reminds me of lazy days spent in the Forest of Bere on the south coast of England, near Winchester in Hampshire. Woodbridge is my go-to place when I am feeling homesick. It conjures up so many recollections, that have become far more important, since moving to the other side of the World.
My life today is very much Australian. As I approach my two-year anniversary, living in Perth, I no longer give my new incarnation another thought. When I am home, however, I do catch up with life in The UK, as much as I can. The Mother country still has a special place in my heart, and the Anglophile in me, certainly needs a daily dose of Britain on the box.
There is a huge contingent of UK Expats living here, more than any other state, percentage wise, so I am not alone in my reminiscences. Mine may well be a little fresher than others, with most of the Expats I have met, having lived here thirty years or more. Nevertheless, all of us have one thing in common, a fondness for the country where we grew up. It really doesn't matter where I live in The World, I will always be British, and that is something I am very proud of.
Today, in a homage to home, I am talking briefly about all things British, as well as reflecting on the past week. It is comforting to recall special moments in my life, carrying them along with me, to the far side of the globe. Wherever you are from, don't be afraid to celebrate your nationality, your personality, your ancestry, and birth rite. There are the genes that make you who you are, and environmental factors which determine your identity. All of us need to know our roots, and be content with the life we once led, and the new life we lead today. It is important to remain connected to all those who played a part in our life, not forgetting the contribution everyone made. Being content with current choices and direction; being adaptable to change, and being aware of the road you are travelling, will ultimately, almost certainly, define the person you are. In the end we are here for but a short time, so enjoy the nest you have made for yourself and the mountain you continue to climb!
