Tags

  • Published on

    Volunteering!

    Picture
    Picture
    Image description
    I have been in a feel good mood today; Darrell was due home this evening. Sadly however, as I was writing this entry, I heard there will be a long delay at Alicante Airport and his flight is expected to leave three hours late. Tonight Darrell will be staying in Southampton and I will see him tomorrow before work.

    Anyway, back to my blog.....Today I have been volunteering; after missing my session last week due to it being a Bank Holiday, I was happy to be back in Commercial Road. I always look forward to my afternoon at Cancer Research, it is great working with everyone there, Managers and volunteers alike.

    If you are reading this blog today and have some time on your hands, please think about sparing a few hours a week volunteering at the Cancer Research shop in Portsmouth. They are currently looking for volunteers to help sort items donated by the public and working the till on the shop floor. I thoroughly enjoy my time liaising with customers, chatting with colleagues and replenishing stock. Volunteers are a feisty bunch, full of life experience, stories and plenty of stamina, all happy to be giving back to the community in which they live.

    I was brought up to do what I can, helping others whose circumstances are challenging and difficult. Personally I have a background in the charity sector, especially enjoying my time as a Mentor and advocate at Action For Children. My connection to the work charities do, has instilled in me a culture of philanthropy. I am very altruistic in nature and believe everyone should do their bit for those in greatest need. When you work with volunteers you understand just what makes them tick and quickly their benevolent nature rubs off on you; I caught the humanitarian bug well and truly many years ago and intend to dedicate some time each week to Cancer Research for as long as I can. Whatever charity you choose, I am of the view, there should be a personal connection. I chose Cancer Research because my Aunty Carol and my Mother-in law are both battling cancer at this time.

    With Darrell arriving tomorrow morning, I intend to rope him in to volunteering while he is here, Cancer Research always need an extra pair of hands. Unlike his previous experience, which wasn't so good, I know Darrell will thoroughly enjoy giving some time to the crew in Commercial Road. As for me, well I'll be in as usual, next week, if not before, helping to 'beat cancer sooner!'
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
  • Published on

    R.I.P. Penelope Wren - Tribute to a Friend!

    Family penelope-wren
    Picture
    Image description
    It is with a heavy heart that I have to announce the death of Penelope Wren, guest blogger for 'Roaming Brit' and author of blog 'Once Upon A Wren.' This morning I received a message from her lovely Mother who told me Penelope died on Sunday after suffering from a catastrophic stroke two weeks ago. As I write these words today, I remain in shock, after the death of such a wonderful, inspiring and gracious lady. I was proud to call Penelope a friend and was delighted she played a part in my life at a difficult crossroads, living in Spain and now the UK. Everyone who knew her are overwhelmed by the loss of such a heavenly soul, the World is a poorer place without her.

    Penelope and I crossed paths through our writing; we both attended the same school and had stories to tell, about our lives growing up in the small market town of Fareham, in Hampshire. Penny's life mirrored mine in many ways, we had a lot of interests in common and I was always glad to hear from her. When I was feeling low, I always knew Penny was there for a kindly word or two and I will miss our messages tremendously.

    Once the news has settled in, I will of course like to write about our friendship in greater detail, with the permission of her family. For now I would like to express my gratitude for having known this amazing person, it was indeed a privilege and would like to offer her family my deepest sympathies at this difficult time. The memories she shared with me and the readers of 'Roaming Brit,' will forever live on in the hearts of many, an epitaph to her gentle, dignified nature and the manner in which she conducted her life; she will be missed by all who knew her!

    R.I.P. my dear friend!
    Picture
    Picture
  • Published on

    Stop Running!

    Picture
    Image description
    Having experienced sociopathic behaviour in the past, I slowly became aware that going to Spain was not a solution to dealing with such anti social conduct. Moving to Gran Alacant was my partner Darrell's decision ultimately; I went along with his wishes, hoping we could start a fresh away from the difficulties of the past. I remained open minded and willing to do all I could to settle into Expat life. The reality is, both of us gave up on the idea of living in Spain, a long time ago, for a number of reasons, some a matter of economics, others concerning logistics and many more, complicated combinations of emotions and home truths; in a new series of blog entries, I want to discuss the pitfalls we encountered, living in Gran Alacant and the truth behind our departure. In today's entry I wanted to talk about people, the personalities we met, good and bad and how one such person made me finally decide to leave the Costa Blanca.

    I have been back in Britain for over three months now and am finally enjoying life again. For the last year I haven't had the best of times. Most of those I met in Spain were fantastic in every sense of the word; local matriarch June, welcomed Darrell and I with open arms, helping us navigate the community in which we were now living; bar owners Brett and Lee always offered a word or two of support when needed and close friends Andy and Katie were always there, through good times and bad. The residents of GA were a joy to be around; we all shared some wonderful times together. Aunty Pam at Zest, a motherly figure, who was always available for a hug when needed; Gavin, the proprietor of Molly Malones who wanted both Darrell and I to stay, offered us far more than we could ever have hoped for and Lorraine and David, two customers from the bar I worked in, who became and remain close friends today. These were just a few of the wonderful characters we were close to, people we will dearly miss; there were however others, who I will remember for very different reasons. It would be wrong of me to mention names, so close after our departure, but it is appropriate that I at least say something, about the worse GA threw our way.

    At the beginning of today's entry, I mentioned that dreaded word 'sociopath,' something I have a lot of experience of and a subject I write about often. Once you have been a victim of someone with 'Anti Social Personality Disorder,' the chances are you will be again. For some reason sociopaths and empaths like me are attracted to one another and in true form I met such an individual in Gran Alacant. At first I believed he was genuine, and a decent member of the local community; I even referred to him as a gentleman; falling for his charms. If I had been more focused and aware, I would have seen right through this charade being played out before my very eyes. For the first few months of our friendship, I was happy and content; It wasn't too long however before the cracks started to show and I began to understand, just who I was dealing with.

    A sociopath seeks to control others; I felt the signs once more, only this time I wasn't taking any of it and resisted as much as I could. Paranoia, hate, lies and deceit were all part of the game and I became disillusioned and depressed at times, coping with childish, pedantic, dramatic and neurotic behaviour. For the most part, I just agreed, smiled sweetly and just got on with my life; in general it worked. I listened less and less to the unsubstantiated claims, brutal words and constant attacks against those who were in the firing line this week, including me. I had worked out how to wipe my mind of all negative thoughts and direct my attentions to more important tasks, not fantasies made up in the mind of a mad person.

    After  a while dealing with such delusional reactions, to perfectly normal situations, you do become rather drained and it can takes its toll on your psyche. There were occasions I felt exasperation, defeated and worn out, but I wasn't going to let such a person destroy my sense of wellbeing again; in the main they didn't and I rose above what I was witnessing. Towards the end of my time in Spain, I was able to disregard the bitterness and decide my own destiny, not having someone else decide it for me and chose to return home. It was clear, the sociopathic mayhem I was running away from in the UK, existed everywhere, especially in a tiny Expat enclave on the Costa Blanca. Exploiting others who are less fortunate is just another example of someone with low moral fibre, falsely believing they are more important than the likes of me for example; it's only because I have been at the sharp end before that I was able to recognise the signs and get out when I did.

    Today I am happy living with family once more, missing many I used to know in Spain. I chose to leave before yet another low life pushed me over a cliff. Thankfully he did me a favour and I am now home with my parents at a crucial time. If there was a moral to this story it is, stop running away from your problems, they will follow you wherever you go. Stand up to the bullies, walk away and stick two fingers up to their twisted sense of reality; Gran Alacant made me see the light and today I pride myself on what a good judge of character I am; Gran Alacant taught me more in three years than I learned in 47; for that I am truly grateful!
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
  • Published on

    Quotes - Returning!

    Picture
    The memories that share our life shine brightly, showing us the way back towards our roots. The path we take, isn't always easy, but through the power of belonging, the safety of attachment and the history of our heritage, we seek the bonds we broke, the day we left home!
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
  • Published on

    Rab's World!

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture


    "Good judgement comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgement!"
    Picture
    Picture
  • Published on

    Catch Up With Cousins!

    Picture
    Image description
    I've spent the afternoon with Cousins Chris and Maria, enjoying  quality time walking along the seafront in Southsea. The last time I saw them was when I first arrived back in the UK at the end of May, so it was good to catch up with family gossip. I feel a great bond with both of these two and always enjoy being in their company. Chris and Maria are a tangible link to my maternal family, that I wouldn't otherwise have.

    Parentage has become a priority in my life since I moved into my Aunts house and is integral to my wellbeing. I am here for my Mother predominantly, but I am also home to assess my role in our family, as odd as that seems; let me try an explain what I mean. I have never felt great attachment to my heritage, unlike many people I have known. I was never invited to gatherings or functions and was very much the black sheep. By all accounts that was a label I wore well, using my estrangement as an excuse to cause mayhem and madness in my life. The truth is, I didn't need anyone to create problems and obstacles as I grew up, I was well able to do that myself!

    Chris and Maria picked me up today and I invited them in to see my Aunt, who like me has a label on her lapel; another reprobate who has spent as much time away from family as she has in their company. We were the rebellious ones, who no one spoke of and only discussed in derogatory terms, if at all. In his way, Chris was also a aloof from his kinfolk as a youngster, dancing at disco's, returning home when his Father, my Great Uncle Peter was on his way out to work. Like Chris and Trisha, I am trying to regain a feeling of order, direction and a sense of belonging, which is important to me at my time of life. I intend to keep building bridges; I intend to make up for the lost years.

    The last time Chris and my Aunty Trisha saw one another was in 1966. Chris was a pageboy at my Mother and Fathers Wedding and Trisha a bridesmaid. This was a lifetime ago and I thought it would be great for them both to get acquainted again, even for a brief half hour. In turns out they are both the same age and also went to the same School in our home town of Fareham. Chris was in the year above and like my Aunt was brought up a Catholic, so have much in common. It is strange how families come together for functions, like Weddings and funerals, yet immediately lose contact, rarely seeing one another again, unless another celebration or tragedy brings them together. I'm not sure if that is just something that happens to our ménage, or whether it happens to others as well; whatever the reasons, it was good to see my Cousin and Aunt reunited after 52 years.

    Today's walk along Southsea, was a welcome break from the drudgery of life; I enjoyed visiting the funfair, I used to frequent as a child, eating ice cream, watching the hovercraft arrive on the beach front and breathing in the sea air. This is a big part of my childhood, something I had missed. Sitting in a shelter on the promenade, I was reminded of the film 'Carry On Girls,' an echo back to seventies Britain, trying to keep warm from the elements as a rather overcast sky pointed towards yet more rain. The fair at Southsea is a hark back to the era that time forgot. The architecture is very 70s in nature and hasn't changed since I was a young lad; that is a fact I am very comfortable with. As I approach my fifth decade, I find myself getting closer to my roots, striving to get back a life I once had. Chris and Maria are a link to a past, I recollect was fondness, always looking towards happier times during periods of stress, for that I am grateful!
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture