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    Coming Home!

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    When writing my blog, I rely heavily on the community in which I live, whether that was in Spain or now in my home City of Portsmouth. I am lucky to have contact with many different people on a daily basis, through work and at home, so I do get most of my ideas from these wonderful characters, that I just happen to cross paths with; real life stories from those who matter are important. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to write or express their views, like me, so I am happy to facilitate their experiences and stories on my blog. Today I wanted to mention an exchange of views with a customer and friend I know from the pub where I work. In the hospitality trade, you do have many conversations with people about some very interesting subjects; politics, sport and local difficulties being just three. Yesterday I ended my shift speaking with a regular about his life in Portsmouth, what makes him tick and why he loves this city so much.

    The demographic of the  neighbourhood where I live in Fratton, is a mix of local people who have lived here all their lives, students attending Portsmouth University, service men and women who have relocated here for work and a large diverse ethic population. Fratton isn’t a perfect middle class idyll on the south coast of England, it is a down to Earth, at times gritty, working class and typically unrelenting, urban town, with all the problems that come with that label. Unemployment, poverty and a determination to keep battling on, forging its own unique identity in the structure of Portsmouth, is important to everyone who lives here!

    I was interested in why people have stayed in this neighbourhood, many all their lives, JC gave me many answers to why he lives here now and intends to remain so. This intelligent man is an indelible part of Fratton, he isn’t extraordinary, he isn’t rich, he isn’t well travelled, but he is happy, content and thankful for being a part of the community in which he lives. JC is well known, liked and full of stories to tell; he has indeed become a great source of inspiration for me. I was told in no uncertain terms, that this is his home and God help anyone who tries to take that away from him. JC has seen a lot of changes, most not for the better, he even spent time travelling and living in a van, looking for new horizons, adventures and experiences to share, but significantly, he came home and remained in a place he loves. Surprisingly he isn’t jealous of others international escapades, wads of cash in their pockets or high brow lifestyles, he is just satisfied living and working in Fratton; he couldn’t care less about others opinions or attitudes to life, he is more than comfortable being who he is!

    My life was very different. I have an Australian partner and have lived both in Australia and the UK. I have travelled extensively, all over the globe and have also resided in Europe. As soon as I was able, I left Britain, to make my own mark on the World. I made many mistakes and chose many wrong paths, but essentially I left my roots behind and looked outwards towards the cities in the sky, ending up today back home in the place of my birth. I rejected my childhood and wanted something better, always looking for happiness, but never really finding it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my partner, but I have never found a place to settle, make a home and live the rest of my days. I have returned now and am enjoying spending time with family; I actually haven’t felt this good in a long time, but I am realistic about just what happens next.

    Unlike JC, I am not completely comfortable with living in a small neighbourhood, where everyone else knows you, has an opinion about your life or passes judgement on your indiscretions. I do get bored easily and am constantly looking for something better, something new, something I am missing out on; I need to keep moving, hopefully onto bigger and brighter things.

    A lot of the time I am deluded about the future, The grass isn’t necessarily greener, as I found out, moving to Spain and I have missed out on a valuable part of life, family, friendships and integrating with those I live and work with. I haven’t formed many lasting bonds in recent years because I haven’t stayed in one place long enough and in retrospect, miss that side of life.

    Coming home’ has given me a beneficial and constructive insight into what could have been or what could be in the future. I am getting used to this new role, embracing a different way of thinking and grasping opportunities when they arrive. I am not for one minute claiming to be a born again local boy, happy to stay in Pompey forever but I am doing my best to ‘fit in’ and taking each day as it comes. There is nothing to say I will be here in a few months time, but for now this really is home and who knows in time, especially as I get older, approaching my fifties, I may well decide to stay and live as JC lives, content to leave my past behind!
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  • Published on

    A Good Start!

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    10 days into 2019 and I already feel like I have achieved a few things already which is good.

    I haven’t really pushed that hard but instead have taken a more concentrated approach.
     
    It is going to be the next week that could define how the year may take shape – I say could because it may not but there is a very good chance it could.

    I have a job interview tomorrow and have spent the last week preparing for that – I don’t think I have prepared so much for an interview ever. Rather than just walking in and hoping to answer the questions to the best of my ability (which I have done in the past and have always walked out reflecting on what I could have said rather than what I did say – though I guess everyone does this) I have made notes to take in with me so I have those excellent examples I can put across.

    Looking at the role description I certainly have the ability to do the role and do it well but putting that across in interview is totally different and I do have a tendency of not selling myself fully in interviews.

    Actually, I do it quite a lot in my life and have never been one to really shout from the roof-tops about my achievements and successes. I much prefer to get stuff done and let actions speak louder than words a lot of the time.

    My life away from work and training is improving and on the up.

    I’ve been getting a bit more varied in the kitchen with what I’m cooking as well instead of the usual pasta dishes every day.

    Training has been going well since the start of the year and I’ve not missed one session and also completed my longest run since I started training for the ultra. The longest run went really well and I had no issues covering the distance or the time (despite having missed a few sessions over the Christmas period) and actually found my next run (which was much shorter in distance and time) much more of a slog (or it certainly felt like it was)!!!

    Even though the weather has been favourable in terms of being dry it has become colder but this hasn’t stopped me getting out training at all – if anything I’ve enjoyed it.
     
    It has felt a really good to start the year and I'm focused and determined. I hope that I can carry this good momentum on for the rest of the year.

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    2018 Year In Review - Looking Forwards!

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    After a year of turmoil and upheaval, I am hoping that 2019 will bring some relief from the pressures of life. 2018 is another one of those periods I would rather forget. Illness, moving back home from Spain, homelessness and separation from ones partner, have all contributed towards a difficult and arduous time. It is doubtful this is the end of my troubles and 2019 is starting off in much the same way as it did 2018. At the moment there is no end in sight to the difficulties I continue to face, as a partner and a son and I am realistic about the weeks ahead; that doesn't mean however I am writing off yet another twelve months of my life, I continue to work towards peace and harmony for my family and I!

    2019 will be a defining year for both mine and Darrell's family. The prognosis for my Mother-In-Law isn't great and Darrell will remain with her for as long as necessary. Although Darrell and I are not living together currently, we hope to end the year reunited as a couple, depending on how long his Mother keeps battling cancer. My Mum has also been ill, but is now home from hospital and has all the equipment necessary to live as normal a life as she can. To be honest, that is the wrong choice of words, her life will never be normal. She is bed bound and relies on my Father and carers for support, but the outlook for the year ahead is far brighter than it was.

    I have also been in contact with other members of my extended family, people I have never seen, but through the wonders of DNA and family tree research, have been able to trace and hope to meet my second cousin and his family this coming year. Equally a trip to Liverpool to see my Irish descendants is also on the cards. My Aunty Mary is now in her nineties and I want to see her and other members of my clan, before they get too old to remember who I am.

    Living with my Aunt Trisha has also been a fantastic experience and I look forward to another family focused year. Before I left for Spain in 2015, I had little or no contact with my kinfolk, today I have more family than I ever knew I had and am relishing spending time with all of them. 2019 is bound to be another challenging year, but I am now lucky enough to be around those who can support both Darrell and I, through the next phase of our journey together. Family is the most important aspect of my life, a chapter that was missing for too long.

    2019 is bound to be another busy year. I am working harder now than I ever have in the past, trying to save enough money for mine and Darrell's future together. Coming home from Spain was the best decision I ever made. The working situation here is far better than that on the Costa Blanca and I am able to save a substantial amount of my income. I hope to remain working for all the organisations I play a part in today. I want to keep the current momentum going and focus on a positive, industrious future, which gives me choices and options about where to go in life. I suppose at the age of 48, I am finally beginning to grow up and see the benefits of a hard working lifestyle. I partied for too long, spent too much money and only lived for each day; I never saw the bigger picture and just what my life could have been, if I had done more to help myself!

    In May I am flying to China, spending three weeks away from the UK with my Aunt and Darrell, who I will meet in Beijing, Darrell will be travelling on the last leg of our journey, as we spend a week in the Chinese capital and take a ride on the Chinese Bullet train to Shanghai. I am looking forward to spending time with my partner, after six months away from each other. Two months afterwards, Darrell will also fly to the UK to spend time with my family here, this is of course dependent on his Mother continuing the good progress she is making. Her current condition is such, that she could deteriorate at any time, something that will always be in the back of our minds.

    So despite the difficulties ahead this year, I am hopeful 2019 will be the beginning of a new and exciting chapter, where we can finally breath a sigh of relief and get ahead in life. I do seem to have been stuck in a rut, going nowhere fast for a while now, especially after the dreadful years following my departure from Oxfam in 2015. Having put that period firmly behind us, both Darrell and I can look towards better times, despite the predicament we both find our families in. 2019 will be about family first and foremost, but also about building a new life, away from the injustices of the past and without the constrains that kept us grounded and at the mercy of others for far too long. This year is there for the taking, so long as we avoid making the same mistakes again; this year is our year, the year we finally reunite as one!

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    When Life Gives You Lemons....

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    Good evening everyone, 

    Just a short update today as I have to be up at 6am tomorrow for my trial shift.... fingers crossed it goes ok, god knows it will be freezing at the time. 

    We went to go see my favourite guy Colin today as yet again my car is in need of tlc.... banging noises and the steering wheel shaking is a sign of some needed attention, (another step back as it goes) so my husband will be taking that tomorrow for me after doing the school run as I will be busy on the trial shift. 

    so with a field of lemons growing around the house and as they saying goes when life gives you lemons.....well lets make some lemonade and that is exactly what we did this afternoon after arranging for the car to be sorted. Going knee deep into the field thanking the lord it is not snake season as i could not see my feet, we picked the lemons.  There were absolutely loads it broke my wicker basket.

    Bring the story to a close and experiment in making home made lemonade by my husband and I have too admit as I do not particularly like lemony things it was really nice. (Pictures are below)

    Have a great evening everyone and wrap up where ever you are as the cold season of the blue January is around.

    The Optimistic Mummy xx
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    Back To School....

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    First of all apologies for not blogging yesterday.... very naughty off me, but it was hectic as some of you will know it was the first day back to school after the Christmas holidays. So early start up at 7am getting the school bag ready .... sounds very simple in fact I was running around like a headless chicken looking for pencil cases, water bottle etc. As a mother you try to be organised, but there are not enough hours in the day and i do like my bed haha. Although the sunrise was beautiful. I have added a picture below, it was stunning. 

    After the school run was the normal, tidying the house and putting the washing on, doing the washing up.... basically making the house look it is in some sort of order before starting on the outside.... 

    Now where we live is in the camino so in laymans terms the middle off nowhere surrounded by oranges... we don't even have a postbox we are that rural. so the house that we rent resides on 10,000 sqm of land which is full of orange and lemon trees, but we do have our own little plot for our allotment and the chickens and ducks.

    So yesterday afternoon mine and my husbands task was to introduce the ducks with the chickens as prior they were in separate pens, so chasing ducks and chickens making a new chicken coop, our cockerel has just realized that he is with 6 females so he is doing his duty... fingers crossed for some chicks..... only taken 6 months. After all this tending to our pack of 5 dogs, 1 we brought over from the UK the rest we rescued in Spain  itself, I will delve in the dog situation in Spain on my blog tomorrow. Meanwhile while all this is happening I am still Job searching (another blog for another day as the trying to get a job in Spain is extremely difficult, it is an employers land,) and picking Alexis up from school.

    I think b y the time everything was done I was that tired after the bedtime routine I slumped on the sofa and took a catnap the reason why I did not do my blog yesterday.

    On another note I hope you are enjoying reading my blogs, My friend Luke is extremely supportive, he is like a mentor as I am still so new to this. 

    Ps, I had a Interview today.... will let you all know what happens

    ​The optimistic mummy xxx
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    Back to Benevolence - Fundraising For Jo!

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    It was my first day back at Cancer Research this Monday. I have been off for a couple of weeks, while I did some extra work at Tesco, during the busy Christmas period.

    It really did feel like 'going home' when I got to work today; they wonderful, benevolent folk are always welcoming and a real pleasure to be with; I enjoy Mondays all the more, for being around like minded individuals, all working for the same goals!

    I had a rather busy morning myself, sorting out the debris left over from the festive season, reorganising the shop, ready for a large donation of products, due any day. Removing the last vestiges of Christmas is always rather depressing, especially so early in January, but I have never enjoyed this month and took the challenge of 'dismantling Christmas' as a chance to renew and welcome in the New Year. Of course I am looking forward to another happy and successful twelve months, working with my team mates at Cancer Research and am always delighted to play my part, no matter how small it is!

    IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!
    ...and finally...Our Jo, my Deputy Manager at Cancer Research is raising money for 'Dry January,' if you can spare a pound or two, click on the picture above to take you to Jo's fundraising page and donate what you can...Lets help make cancer history!

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