Archive - Roaming Brit Blog

Tags

Published on

October 23, 2018

Hello!

claire-coe Counselling Depression Family

Let me introduce you to Claire, a lady I have known for over ten years. This brave young girl has started a blog, documenting and detailing her own personal mental health journey, as she deals with depression. I came across a link for her web page on facebook and immediately asked if she wouldn't mind featuring on my blog from time to time. She very kindly agreed and I am proud to welcome Claire to the wonderful world of blogging.

I have written much about depression and the spectre of mental health and understand just what it is like to deal with these issues on a daily basis. Many of my readers at 'Roaming Brit' have contacted me about my stories dealing with depression and I know Claire's writing will also be of great help to them as they face their own challenges and difficulties everyday. Once again a big thank you to Claire!

Click above to take you to Claire's personal blog!

Well hello there… if you’re reading this you’ve obviously clicked on the link!

Where do I even begin? So I’ll assume you all know me… I’m Claire… I got diagnosed with depression around 10 years ago, the anxiety I assume comes hand in hand.

I’ve been having private counselling now for around 6 months, it’s been absolutely brilliant. I would recommend it to anyone that can afford it.

One of the most recent sessions was my counsellor saying I should start a blog, to tell my story… talk about my week and the struggles I have overcome. Not only that, but mainly to help others. I have learned so much along my journey and would love to teach some of it to others. If I can just help one person, I will be happy.

So here I am… today’s blog will be short and sweet, a little snippet some may say! I’ll try and post weekly, almost a “week in the life of Claire”.

So today, I woke up feeling RUBBISH. I felt really down in the dumps and miserable… one of those moods you can’t snap out of. I messaged my mum (She will come up a lot in these!) And my sister in law to see if I could tag along to Bournemouth with them.

I got a reply from both, of course, more than welcome but it will be very fleeting… won’t it be a waste of time?

Queue that little man that sits on my shoulder… they don’t want you there Claire! I fought that little man, told him to piss off and jumped in my car. I had the loveliest day with my amazing family.

Back in the day, that little voice would have consumed me and I would have stayed at home feeling sorry for myself all day.

My life mantra – little steps.

So this was longer than I thought, sorry if you’re bored out of your mind, if you got this far congratulations and thank you!

Anyone reading this, if you feel you need to talk to anyone, need advise, to chat, cry… you name it… I’m here.

I’m still working on the whole speaking on the phone thing so bear with me on that one, but always at the end of a text/Facebook message/Instagram message bla bla you get it.

Again, thank you… until next week!
Published on

October 22, 2018

Newcome and Me!

I have been working at the Newcome Arms for nearly six months now and have finally become part of the furniture as it were. When I first started at this local pub in the heart of Fratton, I decided to keep my sexuality a secret; In fact wherever I work, I never really discuss my private life, it isn't something that I think about everyday, it is just a part of me. A persons sexual preference does not influence their ability to do a job, so the conversation should never really take place, unless of course you are comfortable enough to have it.

Judging a situation is important when deciding what others need to know and in truth I never once told anyone I was gay, that was done by my little cousin, who just happened to mention it to one of the patrons at the Newcome. As soon as I found out, I was a little annoyed to be honest, but mistakes happen and it wasn't done on purpose, so I didn't hold any malice; in fact she probably did me a favour.

It wasn't too long before the regulars started to make various comments in passing, so I knew everyone was well aware of my orientation. After an initial few days of feeling uncomfortable, I soon adjusted to the reality of my situation. If I am totally honest, the only person who had a problem with my sexuality was me. I was the one trying to hide who I was and felt uncomfortable with others knowing, it was never really an issue for them. Everyone has been great and today I feel like a weight has been lifted from my mind. I no longer have to pretend who I am and can openly discuss my life and partner with people,without fear of outing myself.

I can understand how many readers will find my way of coping with the 'gay thing' as odd and not the way to act in the year 2018, but they also have to understand the era In which I grew up, very different from that of today. There was a lot of prejudice and openly talking about homosexuality could cause long term damage. Today even in gritty Fratton, where some of the residents would sooner thump you than look at you, I have been surprised at their reaction.

I feel more relaxed now working in my local pub than I ever have done and hold everyone who goes there in the highest regard. This is the first time in many years I have felt part of a community and am enjoying the relationships and friendships that I am now forming. There is a difference between Portsmouth and Gran Alacant. Here I have some real bonds; the people are far more down to Earth and welcoming and there is a real sense of belonging, unlike Spain. Don't get me wrong I did have some wonderful close friends when I lived abroad, but they were few and far between, the majority of those who lived in GA, only said hello when you were in one of the many bars and pubs; life was very much centred around the squares and those who drink in them. Darrell and I rarely went out drinking, we were of an age where it was important to live a life more conducive to our relationship; others were very different. Consequently we had little contact with anyone on a daily basis; that was bad for us and our life in Spain, one of the many reasons we decided to leave.

The Newcome is the centre of a vibrant local neighbourhood and I am glad to be a small cog in a very large wheel. The people of Portsmouth are my people, I was born here after all and it is a very big part of who I am. Listening to the conversations in the bar, chatting with many of the locals, I am struck by their humour and honesty. The inhabitants of this great Naval city are a hardy bunch, will always tell you what they are thinking, sometimes in the most colourful terms and express their views without reservation, that is what makes living here right for me now, at my time of life. Who knows where I will end up in the future, but wherever that is, I will always have a special place in my heart for the people who live, work and socialise in this city, especially those who frequent the Newcome Arms!
Published on

October 19, 2018

Adios Banco Sabadell - YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED!

Finally after two months of stress and annoyance, I have managed to shut down my Spanish Bank account. The one thing I will not miss about Spain is the banks; the most incompetent, arrogant, lazy bunch of good for nothings you are ever likely to meet.

An international Bank account with Sabadell, which you couldn't use abroad, because It wouldn't allow a transfer from one account to another, without sending an authorization code to your phone.....A Spanish phone, that doesn't work whilst abroad.

With mounting charges I finally lost my rag and contacted them through Twitter, yes Twitter, no other form of communication would work...Today they finally agreed to cancel this shambles of an account and give me some much needed relief! ADIOS BANCO SABADELL!
Published on

October 19, 2018

Forgetting The Past!

Making new friends in the place of my birth, back home, after a lifetime away. Rebuilding a life so long resisted, putting down roots, extending my stay. All part of belonging and accepting the present, making adjustments, reversing resentment!
Published on

October 17, 2018
Looking After Mum!
Darrell has been in Australia for a little over a week now and has began the process of reintegrating into Australian life. The last time he was down under was in 2016/17, so adjusting to his new circumstances in Perth isn't going to be as difficult as it was then, after a sixteen year absence. I haven't been there since 1998, but judging on the photographs Darrell has sent, it has changed dramatically over the years, three times larger than it was.

These are difficult times for us as a couple, but we have been here before and will survive the coming months. Both of us are doing what's best for our families at this time, putting our own lives on hold for a while. As all of us get older, my generation will undoubtedly face similar issues, not as difficult as ours but nevertheless our aged parents will become more of a priority; how we deal with this will determine who we are as people. I believe strongly in being there for my Mum and Dad, as does Darrell, that creates its own set of problems, but we are both prepared to do what is best for them, after all we have the rest of our lives ahead of us, they do not!

Darrell has managed to navigate the official paperwork necessary for his stay and has been officially designated carer for his Mother. I spoke to him first thing this morning; he had just got back from hospital, where his Mother is said to be doing well. The treatment she has to endure isn't the most comfortable of things to witness, but Darrell remains philosophical about his role, and hopes his stay will encourage his Mother towards a more positive outlook.

It is strange, neither of us have experience of dealing with illness, except our own once in a while; the odd cold, a bout of flu and a few cuts and scrapes, but we are both doing what we feel is right. Somebody said to me the other day, that they believed we shouldn't be sacrificing our own happiness and Marriage and what we were doing could be counterproductive in the long term. At some point both of us need to come back together as a couple, we are well aware of that; we just have no idea when that will be.

People have their own views on our decisions and would probably do things differently. We are both lucky to have close family and friends, supporting us through this period. Without their backing the decisions we have taken may have been very different. For now, we will continue doing things our way, take each day as it comes, build our lives in our respective countries and wait until the day we are once again reunited! Our friends point of view is important, but they will not influence the choices we make, we will always determine our own destiny, as they should also!
Published on

October 16, 2018

Cancer Research - Profile of a Shop, A Snapshot in Time!

Readers to Roaming Brit are well aware of my connection to Charity, having worked in this environment for many years. Once in your blood, it's very difficult to shake the buzz you get from giving your time in pursuit of helping others. First thing yesterday, I was able to discover a little more about Cancer Research in Commercial Road, its volunteers and daily activities. Before everyone left for the day I spoke to Managers and volunteers alike, trying to gauge just what type of person volunteers in this Portsmouth Store. Of course every charity shop is different, attracting many helpers and employees from diverse and contrasting walks of life; each outlet is a melting pot of ideas and personalities, all with the same goal: 'Doing their best to help others!'

Manager Zerina Bryant-Beeney (46) has worked for Cancer Research in one capacity or another for twelve years and has a passion for volunteering. She is approachable and always on hand to help customers and those she employs. Zerina is part of a small Management team that represents this large shop and is the glue that holds everyone together. I asked Zerina why she enjoys working for Cancer Research, she was more than happy to answer: 'I enjoy it because of the case it represents, knowing that my work saves peoples lives!' Who could disagree with that sentiment.

Everyone I spoke to has had experience of the pain cancer causes, so much so, they have decided to dedicate part of their life, trying to help those who face the spectre of Cancer on a daily basis; the victims, their families and friends and the people at the forefront of the campaign to make Cancer history, all important to the lifeblood of this community shop in the heart of the city. It is only though our own experiences, that we can truly understand the suffering of others and comprehend the difficulties they face everyday!

I always enjoy working with Zerina, there is never a dull moment; the respect I and others have for her, shows in the dedication of the volunteers who frequent this shop! As an ex Charity Shop Manager myself, I am well aware of the qualities needed in managing such an unusual retail environment. Zerina has the personality and disposition to bring together the twenty five combatants who work diligently behind the scenes, the acclaim she is accorded is heart warming!

Shop Assistant Samantha Ross (49) has been at Cancer Research for nine years, currently working in three of their shops in the south coast region. Like most of the Management team, she started off volunteering, progressing towards a career in this charity. When I asked her why she enjoyed working for Cancer Research she was clear about her reasons: 'It's a cause close to my heart, I have known many family members and friends who have suffered through cancer. Knowing that my role helps raise money towards a vital case, is all I need to keep working away in a job I love!' Perfect words from an inspiring lady, who works hard everyday.

When you work for a foundation or trust in a retail environment, you really do put 110% into your effort, always working extra time over and above your remit. Sorting bags, pricing stock, helping volunteers, many of whom are vulnerable is a large part of your day. You most certainly have to love your job to be able to get the most out of this vocation. Retail is a challenging environment in which to work at the best of times, charity retail is most certainly the hardest of all, but as Sam said, it is also the most rewarding, giving her and others a sense of self worth and enjoyment she would be hard pressed to find anywhere else!

Volunteer Anita was born in London in 1952, leaving the UK for Italy when she was 25. Married, Anita returned to Britain in 2005 for a quick visit, returning in 2008, while her daughter attended University, where she has remained ever since. Anita's husband continues to live in Italy and they see each other as often as they can, rather like Darrell and I.

Anita is a trained Biology teacher; now working for Cancer Research because she has time on her hands, like many who volunteer for causes close to their heart. Anita also has experience of Cancer in her life, her Father having sadly died from the disease, like so many others. She enjoys working in the Portsmouth shop for many reasons, most of all the companionship and conversation she enjoys with all of us who work there.

Anita is typical of many volunteers, a retired professional with time to spare. All of us who enlist, for want of a better word, have that altruistic gene, gaining great satisfaction knowing we are changing lives for the better. Anita does what she can, because she is part of an army conscripts who want to 'make things happen!'

18 year old Yassin Hamrouni was born in Trento, Italy. This picturesque city is two hours from venice in one direction and two hours from Austria in the other, it is a truly spectacular Italian medieval destination, one place I shall certainly be visiting in future; when I have the time of course. Yassin is of Tunisian descent and currently attends the Tellus School of Language as part of the Erasmus + project. He has been given a three month opportunity to live and work in the UK, staying with an English family, here in Portsmouth.

Yassin has two Brothers, one younger, one older, his Mother still lives in Italy and his Father now lives in Paris; a well travelled young lad, he chose to come to the UK as part of his course studying IT. Yassin was upbeat about his time here, regarding the United Kingdom as open minded and welcoming, enjoying a conversation with everyone he meets. He has a wonderful grasp of the English language, although finds it difficult to understand the Portsmouth dialect at times. Through perseverance and hard work, Yassin hopes to gain a greater understanding of the British and our customs and culture, using this three month period at Cancer Research as a stepping stone on his journey towards his eventual career.

Many foreign students come to Britain to improve their apprehension of English, Yessin no exception. However he also has personal reasons for working for this charity, having lost his Grandfather four years ago to Cancer; a personal tribute to someone he held in high regard, part of his pilgrimage, navigating life in the UK!

Profiling a day in the life of this charity shop where I work, wouldn't be complete without discussing the retail activities that are important to the generation of money for good causes. We are of course approaching Christmas and I was interested to know just what the difference in income is at this time of year.

The festive season is essential for all high street retailers, but to a charity it can mean the difference between survival or not. A charity shop has the same overheads as any other business; rent, rates and utilities as high as anywhere else. Contrary to what people believe, there is no special dispensation for these type of outlets. Cancer Research in Commercial Road has to compete against other retailers, charity and otherwise, but Christmas is a time to promote its activity to the wider public.

Like most 'not for profit organisations,' it produces its own merchandise at this time of year, Christmas cards, decorations and keepsakes for those who support the campaigns it promotes. Cancer Research sells a line of Bought in goods or 'BIG's.' These are new products customers can purchase, on top of the donated stock, important to the success of a shop during the festive season. Of course these type of items are sold all year round but the income generated during Christmas is more important than ever.

Between May and July 2017 Cancer Research in Portsmouth sold 1600 pounds worth of 'Big's,' a typical amount for that time of year; during October to December 2017, the figure rose to over 7000 pounds, a dramatic increase, without which many programmes instituted by Cancer Research, would not receive the money they need. I have seen a significant rise in sales, even during the first few weeks of October and we are all looking forward to a successful yuletide engendering more income than we did last year.

This Monday was another busy day; everyone had a role to play. I work front of house on a checkout because others can't, or prefer to work in the back of the establishment, sorting stock, pricing or collecting donations. All of us work well together despite our differences, backgrounds and affiliations, we all seem to bond positively as a team. There is far more to working in a charity shop than you might expect and I would ask anyone thinking about volunteering to come along and spend a day with principled people, doing something worthwhile for others who can't. You may be surprised at what you find, how rewarding it can be and the fulfillment you feel at the end of the day. Giving something back to the community in which you live is important, whatever you choose to do. Without Britain's army of volunteers, this country would be a poorer place; it's up to people like you and I to do the things that governments wont or cant because of the lack of money and resources. Volunteering remains a vocation for the few, but with insight and encouragement, more people could make the step towards a better future for them and the causes they advocate!

Tags

Hello!

Newcome and Me!

Adios Banco Sabadell - YOU WILL NOT BE MISSED!

Forgetting The Past!

Looking After Mum!

Cancer Research - Profile of a Shop, A Snapshot in Time!

Telephone

Email