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    Luke Martin-Jones On The Debra Rufini Show!

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    It was my absolute pleasure to be interviewed for the 'Artist First Radio Network,' and the 'Debra Rufini' show this week. Debra was engaging as ever, as we both spoke about the issues important to us. I was able to talk at length, for an hour, about my life, blogging, my campaign against bullying and my experience growing up gay in the 1970s/80s.

    As a blogger, it is important to get my message across to my readership, so when the lovely Debra Rufini approached me for an interview, I was delighted to oblige. I have listened to her show numerous times and followed her radio programme with interest. Talking about a wide range of subjects, her interviews have always struck a chord with me. From spirituality, writing, narcissism and bullying, her topic of conversation, never fails to inform and entertain. My small contribution has allowed me to finally speak about subjects close to my heart, with a person who understands the mission statement of 'Roaming Brit.'
    I felt relaxed talking with Debra, through a medium I have never used before. The radio is a great way for me to get my message across to others; expressing my feelings, vocally, has been an empowering experience. After listening to the broadcast yesterday, I was happy to have been given the opportunity to tell a small part of my story.

    The original reasons for creating 'Roaming Brit' all those years ago, are still there and my passion about ending bullying and abuse in all its forms, is as important today as it was then. Debra and I have much in common; our shared values and beliefs come across in an interview that spanned nearly an hour. For me, it was a cosy chat with a friend, but it is also a programme that explored my character, sentiment and conviction. Debra made me remember why I blog, who I blog for, how it has shaped my life and, more seditiously, just how much trauma I have suffered throughout.

    My sexuality is the common factor that linked every component in the interview. This is the one single theme, that has really been responsible for the decisions I have made and the challenges I have faced. This connection was at the forefront of my mind during my chat with Debra and continues to dominate my life, even today. From bullying and writing, to childhood and family, homosexuality has been the most tenacious obstacle to my sense of self-worth. It has controlled my life and has made me the person I am today. It isn't until you listen back to a conversation or, in this case, a dialogue on a radio show, that you realise, just what shaped your future direction. If only all of us were accepted for who we are, we wouldn't have to go through the terrible pattern of injustice, that many LGBTQ+ people suffer daily.

    My sincere hope, is this interview will help others, who are suffering from bullying. I have written so much about the subject, that I was glad to be able to finally tell my story. Debra was wonderful at making me feel at ease and comfortable, so I felt in a position to tell my narrative, in a way I wanted to, not how others would have demanded. Bullying and abuse are serious issues that need to be addressed, and it is only by talking, that you are able to see through fog. The 'smoke and mirrors' effect, so often used by abusers to muddy the water and make you feel guilty, is a difficult method of manipulation to see through. Listening to other stories, is a great way of understanding the sinister processes at play.

    Do take a listen to the podcast of the broadcast on YouTube, which I have included in the link above, and of course let me know what you think. I would of course like to thank Debra and all those at The Debra Rufini Show for their support and for the opportunity to tell my story. I have been amazed by the positive feedback I have received and hope it isn't too long before you hear from me again. Roaming Brit survives, because of its readership and I hope you will all take a moment, to sit and listen to my experiences, in this crazy World we all live in.

    This radio interview is dedicated to all those who have suffered and continue to suffer abuse. Many of you helped me come to terms with my struggles, and for that I am truly thankful. Without your love and support, I wouldn't be here today!
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    Luke Martin-Jones: Interview on the Debra Rufini Show - Saturday 10 and Sunday 11 July 2021

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    This Saturday 10th and Sunday 11th July, I am delighted to announce I will be on the 'Debra Rufini Show,' on the 'Artist First Radio Network.' During the hour-long conversation, I will be talking about blogging, my campaign against bullying and abuse, and my life growing up gay in the 1970s/80s.

    A big thank you to Debra for inviting me on her programme and giving me the platform to talk about subjects close to my heart. Debra's informal interview style, covering a diverse range of subjects, allows her guests to talk at ease. It is a pleasure to be a part of a radio station, I regularly follow, as I hope all of you will to!

    Whether you are in London or New York, tune in this weekend!

    The Debra Dufini Show, Saturday's and Sunday's - 3pm New York, 8pm London!
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    A Tough Day Out!

    2021 richard-guy Running
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    As I write this blog post, my legs are still aching and my feet are still blistered. Most importantly though, I’m still smiling, and the post-race pain is worth it.

    On Saturday, I completed the Serpent Trail 50k ultra. It was my first attempt at completing an ultra-marathon and the first endurance event I had done for quite a few years. I had one expectation going into the event – get to the finish line. The week leading up to the event hadn’t got off to the best of starts as I damaged my left foot and, on the start-line, it was still bruised and sore. My race vest felt fairly heavy as I had the mandatory kit plus nutrition as well as 3 litres of energy drink and water. I was fully aware going into the event that this was going to be tough, and I would need to dig deep, both physically and mentally.

    The weather leading up to the event hadn’t been ideal, and much of the course was really muddy. The course was stunning. I don’t think I’ve run on a course as varied in terrain or tougher than that. It was hilly as well, and my strategy was to walk some of the hills to converse energy and take on nutrition.

    The start was quite congested in the first couple of miles and being on single track it was difficult to pass other runners in places. I also managed to go off course within the first couple of miles – I was flying down a hill and missed one of the course direction signs and only realised when I got to the bottom of the hill with another runner closely behind me that I was off course. Not great, having to run back up hill to get back on course. Several miles later I managed to go off course again for around 150 metres after misreading a direction sign. I decided I needed to pay more attention for the rest of course.

    About halfway through the trails became a bit clearer which was ideal, and I managed to get a good rhythm going, but this was soon broken by muddier sections and more hills. 20 miles in and I was feeling good, feeling positive, and feeling focused on getting to the finish line. I was moving through the checkpoints as quickly as possible after refuelling and topping up my water bottles.

    The weather was strange. When we started, it was raining, but it was also muggy and humid. The sun did break out a couple of times, but then it also rained again – the joys of racing in the English summer, I guess.

    Around mile 26 was the last checkpoint, another packet of salt and vinegar crisps, an energy gel, plenty of water and headed off again. Up and down hills and only 3 miles to the next aid station. Mile 29 and I hit the last water stop on route still smiling and still laughing and joking with the volunteers and marshals. Only 2 miles left and it felt like the longest 2 miles I’ve ever run in my life – it seemed more like 10 miles if I’m being honest. With 1 mile to go I tried to urge my legs to pick the pace up a bit and as painful as it felt they did respond……….just!

    Through another woodland trail and then suddenly a left turn and I could see the finish line. I picked the pace again, it felt like I was sprinting, though in reality I was probably shuffling along. Crossing that finishing line felt amazing. I felt shattered, and my legs felt painful. It was worth it though.

    So after months of training, I achieved my goal and feel pretty pleased with the effort that I put in. I also learnt quite a lot during the event – about myself and what I would do differently in future. My head is saying do some more ultras and my legs are in total disagreement - I’m sure that’ll change very soon.

    The plan is to build on the training I’ve done and do a few shorter distance events (Great South Run (10miles) and Portsmouth Coastal Marathon (26.2miles)) and then build up to a 70km next June and hopefully a return a month later to the Serpent Trail 50k and a quicker time (mud permitting!).
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    A Narrative, Too Often Reflective of Favourable Situations!

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    I have always encouraged myself to tell the truth, even in the  most difficult of circumstances, it's the reason I decided to call myself 'The Real Truth Blogger.' Writing about my experiences in life, in the most sincere way possible, has always been my mantra. I have never looked at life through rose-tinted glasses or been under any illusions about the mistakes I have made and the challenges that have brought me to where I am today. My life is hard; the lifestyle choices I made many years ago have come back to haunt me, and I am fully aware of the difficult road ahead, because I have been here before. The stories I write, blogs I compose and memories I reflect upon, are as honest as I believe they should be. Nevertheless, all of us, even me, try to remember the best of times, often leaving traumatic accounts locked away, rarely seeing the light of day.

    I have had an amazing life and been to places, that others could only dream of. I have partied, sometimes for days on end, and lived abroad, meeting some wonderful people. Never staying in one place too long, I have rarely settled for any length of time; despite this, I have a loving husband, who I adore more now, than ever. Living an alternative life, full of spontaneous adventure, excitement and amazing experiences has been truly fantastic, but it really is only half the story. Isn't it true, that we only want to remember those productive and uplifting moments, papering over the cracks and larger gaping wounds, that only show people what we want them to see?

    We live in such an image conscious World, that being truthful has become a dying art. Airbrushing photos, applying a filter to our face and deleting bad pictures and memories have become commonplace. You could be forgiven for believing all our lives are a scene from the 'Truman Show,' perfect in every respect, faultless and without complication and hardship. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth; I am as guilty as anyone for concentrating my endeavours on happy events and milestones and ignoring the more controversial occurrences that define us as individuals.

    I write about my childhood often, a time I find difficult to comprehend, even now after thirty-five, forty years. The narrative, is often reflective of favourable situations and occasions and tends to skip over the role negativity played. For the most part, I had a particularly unhappy childhood, but that isn't always echoed in the words I write. Apart from the odd one of two traumatic scenarios, it feels as if I have forgotten the damn right destructive days, that far outweigh the creativity I like to express.

    Childhood trauma can be hard to remember; I have tried to forget most of the bad days, many too painful to recall. When it comes to writing about the most distressing periods I have lived through, I have unconsciously forgotten the worst details, often afraid to dig deep enough. Even now, as I compose this entry, I understand just how harrowing my life was at times, but I don't remember the details well enough to include them in this blog.

    Just because my life is relatively fortuitous today, it doesn't mean it always was. Growing up gay in the 1970s/80s, alone, with very few friends, has had a very damaging effect on my wellbeing. The depression and anxiety I suffer with, today, is a direct response to the circumstances that surrounded my youth. Sitting down quietly, remembering with fondness a time I hated with a passion, is an escape from reality, that allows me to concentrate on the heart-warming anecdotes. These tend to remain at the forefront of my mind, overriding all the heartache and anguish that really should be addressed.

    Of course confronting one's demons isn't an easy task, and I have at least started to analyse a past that was littered with self loathing, insecurity and fear. This blog is primarily about documenting events and expressing myself, as I struggle through life's ups and downs. It is also about remembering a past that wasn't always prosperous or constructive, and recalling a journey that hasn't been easy. As I have become more self-aware, I have also become uncompromising in my search for the truth, about who I am and what has made me the walking catastrophe I was born to be.

    It is hard coming to terms with one's failings in life, but it is harder ignoring the significance they play in one's future direction. In order to move on, move forward, without the constraints of the past, I do have to learn from the mistakes I made. Accepting the consequences of my actions and never repeating them again, creates a chance for  a new beginning and a catalyst for change, even at fifty years of age!
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    Ready!

    2021 richard-guy Running
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    So many months of training are now completed. The early mornings, training in all weathers, running longer training distances than I’ve ever covered for an event before. It is all completed now and the next time I run will be at the Serpent Trail 50k. I’ve run over 600 miles in my training this year in preparation – I’ve never run that far in a calendar year before, let alone 6 months!

    The start of the week presented me with a major challenge. I managed to stub three of the toes on my left foot quite heavily early on Monday morning and feared that I may have broken one of my toes, they were bruised and there was some swelling as well. For months, I’d been careful in my preparation and recovery to avoid injury, and one slight accident less than a week before the event could easily have thrown everything away.

    Had this been any other event I would have skipped my last couple of training runs, but this is different.

    Monday morning I headed out for a 6-mile run to see what the impact was. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as I thought and although it felt painful at times it was manageable – that was a relief. Tuesday I went out for another 6-mile run. The foot still felt painful, but it was manageable. Thursday was the last run before the event and I did 8 miles at what was supposed to be an easy pace, but I was feeling good so picked it up a little and the foot felt much better – a couple of twinges but more of a slight ache than anything painful. So apart from the damage to my left foot the training has gone well. I’m feeling strong, I’m feeling both mentally and physically prepared, and most importantly I feel ready.

    I know that whatever challenges the event throws at me, I will be able to overcome them. I’ve made sure that some of my longer training runs have been over tougher terrain than the event. I’ve done my research into many aspects of ultra-running; nutrition, mental preparation, kit, and recovery.
     
    Years ago when I spoke to people that competed in ultra-running events, I admired them but thought it wasn’t for me. I had a change of mindset a couple of years ago (about the time when I first started this blog) and decided to enter an event. I didn’t make it to the start line for multiple reasons – the main one being at the time my head and heart wasn’t fully committed to it. It has bugged me since, and now I have an opportunity to put those bugs and that disappointment in myself well and truly behind me.

    I’ve found over the last 6 months when I have been fully committed to training for this event that my mindset has changed dramatically. When I started this blog a few years ago I wasn’t in a happy place, I didn’t like myself, I was frustrated with myself, and I had no goals that I was aiming for. Now I’m determined, stronger, and know if I push myself further than I think I can go I can achieve so much more. It feels good. Getting to the start line has been a major positive, crossing that finish line will be cathartic, but won’t be the finish. It will be a new beginning.

    I know that these events are tough both physically and mentally and require huge efforts of endurance – that is why I am drawn to them. I think getting across the finish line and resting on my laurels and saying I’ve ticked that box, I’m done with it would be a huge waste. I know that I’m going to be tired and aching at the finish line and the following days and those inevitable words – ‘never again’ – may be muttered but the tiredness and aching muscles will pass and the thrill of completing the event will override this and thoughts of what next, could I do it again but a bit quicker, could I go further, could I do a tougher course?

    And it starts again, those months of training, those early mornings, the planning, the physical and mental preparation and getting to that point where I can say I’m ready for this. That is a massive change from when I first started this blog, and with time and belief anything is possible if you want it enough.
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    Concerns About Health!

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    This week has been seven days of hell where my health is concerned, so much so, I am thinking of taking matters into my own hands. I have so many conditions to contend with at the moment, that I literally don't know what ailment is causing which pain. It has become very hard functioning on a daily basis, without experiencing some sort of discomfort. I don't know how many times I have mentioned it to my GP, only to be fobbed off with a generalised answer, that is designed to make me feel better... WELL, I DON'T FEEL GOOD, I DON'T FEEL GOOD AT ALL!

    After a series of Xrays on my back and hips, I had an appointment with Rheumatology this week, to discuss the results. As usual, I was expecting the worst and had mixed feelings about hearing from the consultant. As it happens, there was good and bad news, and it certainly wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be.

    Luckily, I have been told that I don't have rheumatoid arthritis, which would have been the worst outcome of all. The signs were there, but the blood tests and xrays came back negative. The bad news was really as I expected. I have substantial damage to the discs and joints in my lower back, which have been causing me a lot of pain. The Doctor explained that ultimately I may have to have an operation, but as long as I can live with the aching, she recommended I do nothing yet. Also, I would be referred back to physiotherapy, which could now be more tailored to my own personal needs. As per usual, she suggested I lose weight, which is easier said than done. Despite all the walking I do on a daily basis, the pounds just seem to pile on.

    Speaking to her about  my difficulty with weight loss and other chronic symptoms I have been experiencing, she hinted there may be a problem with my thyroid. A chat with my GP and more tests and referrals, could help me discover why I am feeling the way I am.  I'm sure my GP must think I am a hypochondriac at times, but after three years, she is used to my ongoing complaints. To be honest, looking at my constant push for answers, I have discovered many ailments, I never knew I had. You do have to be as vocal as you can, especially during a pandemic, because surgeries across the country are not working as they should and many people are being left in pain, like me. It is important for me to find out what is going on, so I can finally move on with my life.

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    On Thursday, whilst talking to Darrell on the phone, I was interrupted by a phone call from QA Hospital, from the surgical unit of the upper GI department. They had a date for my cholecystectomy operation to remove my gallbladder, finally, after a year and three months of waiting. I was informed the date would be 17 July and I would need to make arrangements to attend on that day. I am also required to self-isolate for three days prior to the operation and take a PCR COVID-19 test a few days before. Despite the logistical nightmare, of having a procedure during a pandemic, I was just relieved I would finally have my gallbladder removed and could hopefully start living a normal life again. Only time will tell whether this will be enough to stop the pain I experience on a daily basis, or if I will have to undergo more treatment in the future.

    Today, whilst at work, I was contacted by QA Hospital once again to change the appointment date to the following week, due to no radiologist being available on that day. On the same weekend my Aunt is throwing her first party for close family and friends, I will be confined to a room upstairs. This is rather annoying if I am honest, but I am so desperate to have this operation, I will just have to do what is necessary. This is the only date available, and I just can't pick and chose right now.

    On top of the conditions I suffer with, Diverticular Disease, GERD, a large Hiatal Hernia, gallbladder disease and narrowing of the spine, I also have IBS symptoms on a daily basis. As you would expect, my IBS is out of control at the moment. I always refer to IBS as 'my IBS' because all of us who suffer with it, have our own unique symptoms. This is an individual disease, that affects each of us differently. My symptoms are ongoing, every day, but thankfully some days are better than others.

    Since my first severe symptoms more than three years ago, with careful planning, eating a relatively low FODMAP diet and medication, I have managed to control the worst aspects of IBS. I do, however, suffer more frequently now than I used to, just in a milder form. I have been told that the chronic conditions I experience, are at least in part responsible for the abdominal pain I have, but I just can't be sure by how much. IBS controls your whole life, sucks the lifeblood out of you and consumes every waking hour. Stomach, back, hip and pelvic pain is common, as well as a change in bowel habits, nausea, dizziness and depression. I am frequently reminded how I will have to live with this for the rest of my life, and I am constantly searching for solutions to help me cope with the anxiety and distress this causes.

    I am hoping that after my operation, my IBS symptoms will subside, but I am told that may not happen, and there is a chance I could be left in a worse state than I am now. Having a cholecystectomy is no guarantee of normality, in fact it may well just be the beginning of a journey to repair the damage done to my body over many years. I have learned to live well again, eating healthy, no longer smoking or drinking and working hard to survive. I have rebuilt my life and become a much better person, but the years of neglect have taken their toll and I will most probably live with persistent pain for the rest of my days. Managing the challenging aspects of illness, and mitigating the worst characteristics of these complaints, should help me regain some form of control. As a wise man once told me, 'Don't let it control you, control it!' Removing the constraints I have lived under for so long, is my overriding priority now, beating back the spectre of illness and overcoming my concerns, offers a path of hope through a sea of pain!
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