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    Monday!

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    It was a walk down to Gunwharf Quays in Southsea on Monday. The weather was perfect for a stroll through the streets of Portsmouth, taking in the views and enjoying the company of family.

    From the moment we left my Aunties house, it was clear Portsmouth had changed much over the years. It has been a long time, since I sauntered through historic Pompey. The familiar landmarks are of course still there; HMS Warrior, HMS Victory and The Mary Rose, but there are also many new buildings and structures. Dominating the skyline is the Spinnaker Tower, as well as the 'Lipstick' Tower, nicknamed as such because of its likeness to the ladies cosmetic.

    It has been great not only catching up with family, but also familiar places, that I haven't seen for many years. Britain is a vibrant, ever changing Country. I have actually felt more alive coming back here, than I have done in a longtime. Of course this place is home and as such, will always be a place I return to, again and again!
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    The Kangaroo!

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    From the age of five to seven and a half, we lived in Singapore. My father was in the British Navy and had been assigned to Singapore for two and a half years. These few years were my childhood – almost carefree years!
    I found the cultural adjustment very easy – children are very adaptable. I soon started school at the Navy school which was twelve miles away. At five years old, in a strange country, I was put on the naval school bus which took us to school a long way from home. As long as my mum put me on the bus to go to school and the teachers put us on the bus to go home, I was happy.
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    Singapore is subject to the monsoon seasons. When the rains start it is like the floodgates open up. To cater for the deluge in water, six foot deep monsoon drains are built. The ones near our house were made of concrete. They lined the paths alongside the roads. Even though these cement ditches were six feet deep, they would fill up quickly and the roads would flood within hours.

    Despite the flooding, the school buses would run and we would have to catch them. The most difficult thing about walking the flooded roads to the bus stop was trying to keep your flip flops on! Unaware of the potential dangers of falling over and drowning; or slipping into the now invisible monsoon drains and drowning; it was an adventure going to and fro from the bus stop. For my mother, it was a nightmare. As she carried my little sister in her arms and grasped hold of my hand, her anxiety of me falling into the monsoon drain with the fast flowing water was near panic level. One time, as the regular bus pulled up, it didn’t get the stopping position correct. One young woman got off the
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    bus and stepped right into the monsoon drain. Several men on the bus managed to jump out without going down the monsoon drain and were able to rescue the soaking wet young woman who spent many minutes coughing up dirty water. Besides the worry of us children drowning, my mother also was wary of millipedes. One time, walking down to the bus, she got bitten by a millipede. I remember that it was very painful for her.

    When the monsoon season was not upon us, we would see the now empty monsoon drains along side the path, that we would walk to and fro from the bus stop. My mother’s new anxiety was that I would fall down into the concrete ditch and break my arm or leg. Constantly she would tell me to walk away from the monsoon drains. I have a vague recollection of sliding into one once and of my mum being really angry at me. Luckily, I didn’t break anything unlike the boy who lived across the road. I came home from school one day and found out that he had broken his leg by falling into the monsoon drain. He was off school for many weeks.

    One day, my mum took us shopping. We didn’t go to the market this time although we frequently did. I loved going to the market with its unique smells of Chinese cooking which made my mouth water, the unusual sounds of animals squealing and people speaking frantically in Chinese, and seeing all the local native crafts. This time, we must have gone to a department store. I vaguely remember the coolness of the store, the spaciousness and order. Inside the department store, my sister and I spotted these ornamental kangaroos with heads that bobbed up and down. We were totally fascinated with them and spent a long time watching them. We were absolutely delighted when mum said that we could get them for being such good girls that day.

    We came home in the car. I was so excited to play with my kangaroo when we got home – at least have it on our table or window sill and touch its head so that it would go up and down. As we turned into the road that lead to our road of Jalan Belibus where our house was, my mum made a gasp.
    “I forgot to get a present for the boy across the road!” She exclaimed. She paused momentarily and then said “Penelope, would you give your kangaroo to the boy for a gift?”
    I gulped. My stomach lurched. I didn’t really want to give my kangaroo away. I hadn’t even had time to play with it yet.
    ‘Penelope?’ Mum probed.

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    Even at five or six years old, I already knew that it was the right thing to do. The young boy across the road must be awfully bored and uncomfortable from his broken leg, I reasoned. My kangaroo would make him happy and help him to pass the time. The nice feelings I had inside when I thought of giving up my new kangaroo with the bobbly head were slightly stronger than my desire and excitement to play with the kangaroo. When we arrived at our house and got out of the car, I handed the bag with the wrapped kangaroo over to my mum. After she had left us with our Ahma, she popped over to the boy’s house to give him the present. When my mum returned, she told me how thrilled the boy was with the kangaroo. This not only appeased the pain that I was feeling with it’s loss, but made me feel very good about the sacrifice that I had made.

    Making sacrifices became a lot easier after this first one. Today, the sacrifices involve time and resources, sometimes pride and inconvenience. However, as is the nature of making a sacrifice, there is always that strong pull between doing what the self wants to do and doing the right thing. As Neal A. Maxwell said: “Real, personal sacrifice never was placing an animal on the altar. Instead, it is a willingness to put the animal in us upon the altar and letting it be consumed!”

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    Rab's World!

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    "Why do parents tell you not to play with your food, when for the first two years of your time, they pretend the spoon was an aeroplane or train!"

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    Joe!

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    Yesterday I saw my Cousin Joe for the first time in many years. Joe is like me in many ways; a bit wayward, nonconformist and a drifter through life. I don't think either of us lived up to our parents expectations, but that makes me like my Cousin even more. Aside from our similar characteristics, we have also been told we look alike. Personally I am not too sure about that, but what I do know, is I enjoyed spending time with him yesterday.

    Since arriving in Britain, I have have been lucky enough to see lots of family and friends, which was my aim in the first place. I am reminded of a conversation I had with my Cousin Chris, when we left a family gathering at Funtley Hall a week ago today: it is important for him and I to start the process of re-establishing links to family lost along the way; neither of us are getting any younger, so now is the time to begin opening doors to future possibilities spent with those we love.

    We managed to get through two bottles of Rioja, lots of lager  and a home cooked dinner, chatting all the while. Comparing lives, it's clear we have a lot in common despite our ages and respective situations. I hope to see Joe again before I leave, but am well aware my time in the UK could be cut short at anytime, as I begin the next chapter in my life, wherever that may be!
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    Familiar Faces!

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    I spent the day in Southampton yesterday, the first time since I arrived in the UK on 25th May. As I walked around the City I was struck by just how much it has changed. There are new buildings everywhere; Guildhall Square looks completely different from when I was last there in 2015. There is of course a brand new extension to the West Quay Shopping Centre and the old Bargate Shopping Centre, behind the castle in the centre of town is no more. There is a new theatre and arts centre as well as an influx of restaurants covering the town.

    I have always been fond of my old home, but when I arrived at Southampton Central Station, I had this strange feeling come over me; this place I had lived in for a quarter of a century no longer felt like home. For the first time in my life, I felt like a stranger in my own country. To be perfectly honest it was quite an unsettling feeling. Don't get me wrong I am happy to be back, but it feels very strange; don't forget I have been living outside the UK for nearly three years now, so it is going to feel a bit disconcerting.
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    I was in Southampton to meet Jay, who was the best man at my Wedding; I haven't seen or heard from him since I left the UK. We pretty much fell out over something stupid, as is usual in our case, yes it has happened before and will probably happen again. Anyway, I decided to contact Jay a few months back and we have been talking for quite sometime now. Jay is an important part of my life and helped me get through some pretty tough times, so it was only right that we rekindled our friendship. Sat there talking with him again was fantastic, just like it used to be, I really enjoyed spending time with him after so long; we did after all have a lot to talk about.

    Jay treated me to dinner at 'Mango;' a small restaurant on Southampton High Street, tapas, not traditionally Spanish, but tasty nonetheless. We managed to fill each other in on our different lives and I was pleased to hear how well this lad is doing. Thankfully he no longer works for Oxfam and has managed to move forwards in a constructive focused way. Despite living in completely different countries, leading vastly disparate lives, we can at least now manage to stay in contact  and concentrate on forming a lasting bond. The fact we no longer see each other everyday, will probably go in our favour. I have always valued our friendship and look forward to seeing Jay again before I leave!
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    Whilst walking though the city centre, I bumped into Joe, or baby Joe as I call him. He has been a friend since he was knee high; it was great seeing him also. Joe has turned into a fine young man, which is nice to see; he never changes mind you and still looks the same as when I first met him.

    It is people like Joe that make me miss my life in Southampton. I have realised just what I have left behind and at my time of life it doesn't necessarily sit well with me. Joe does remind me of just how small the city of Southampton is. Walking through the streets, I recognised many people, passing the time of day with many. Although Southampton is a City, it is relatively small. I met Joe through Darrell, they used to work together and we became good friends with both him and his sister, often going to see bands play at the popular venue, 'Talking Heads;' I'm not even sure the place is still there as I haven't been there for over five hears. It's on my list of things to do, while I'm staying on the South Coast!

    I'm sure I will see Joe again before I leave; it was sad it was such a brief chat. I am however trying to fit as much as I can into my time back home and want to make the most of my time, spent in Britain. The only thing I want from this vacation is memories and plenty of them. As a person I have changed much in recent times, my values and priorities are now very much at odds with the person I used to be; that can only be a good thing!
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