Richards Journey!

HELLO

Hi and thanks for clicking on the link to my first blog entry.

So why am I writing a blog? I’ve asked myself that question quite a few times this morning and I guess it is for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is a good way of me looking at a journey I am currently on and secondly I hope that people who read will understand and possibly be inspired by my journey.
 
My name is Rich and I have suffered from mental health issues since my mid-late twenties which resulted in me taking an overdose of paracetamol , being admitted to hospital, and then under-going a couple of months of counselling. It helped and certainly helped me get my life back on track. I had a change of career, got back into exercising again (and raced in triathlons and ran quite a few marathons), and entered into a happy relationship which lasted for 8 years.
 
Almost 20 years on my mental health issues returned. I have spent most of 2018 depressed and unmotivated – my self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, self-value, and self-opinion have crashed.

I moved to Portsmouth last year relocating for work and was in a new and happy relationship which has now ended, has devastated me and left me heartbroken.

The things I said I would do when I moved here have just remained ideas and I’ve not been motivated to change that.

I have felt isolated and so alone. I have contemplated moving away on numerous occasions but I know this is not the answer and won’t resolve the underlying issues I need to deal with.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my GP and I am also accessing support within work.

The one thing I have found that is helping is getting back into running again – it gives me time to switch off and gives me something to focus on.

I am goal/target driven – in work and away from work. With running I just can’t go out and do it for fitness reasons I need a target to aim for.

I’ve run 5ks, 10ks, half-marathons and marathons in the past and feel like I will always be looking at previous personal bests, average paces, run splits, and all that kind of thing and as I am a bit older I know I will not achieve what I had in the past – leading to frustration and a lack of motivation again.

I needed a new challenge and decided to enter an ultra-marathon instead – on 11th August 2019 I will be running 31 miles (50km) along the River Thames – starting at Kingston-upon-Thames and finishing at the Thames Barrier. At the moment I’m just getting myself out of the door and doing 30 minute runs at an easy pace – 31 miles seems like a long way off at the moment.

It sounds like the maddest idea I have had but when I think about it the idea is perfect – it is a target I have never set myself before, running ultras is more about the journey than the finishing time or personal bests, and running helps with my mental health so I guessed the further the better.

If it goes well then in 2020 I am going to enter a 100km (62 miles) ultra along the Serpent Trail on the South Downs.
 
So my blog is going to be about my journey and I am hoping that the journey will see me find peace with myself, address my current mental health issues and get them under control once again, and what steps I am taking to achieve to make myself happy again.

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