Another mixed week but better than the previous week as I look back and reflect on it.
I’m starting to get more into a routine with things which is helping a lot and actually planning my days and weeks a lot better. I’m finding that with some structure attached to my weeks I am not spending as much time feeling frustrated and bored which leads me to get even more frustrated with myself to the point where I become very defeated.
I’ve completed my first 4 weeks of training for the ultra and the motivation is increasing with every session I complete. I’m pleased that I have been consistent and haven’t lost focus. Obviously having a goal that has taken me well out of my comfort zone has helped a lot with that.
The last few runs I’ve done I’ve noticed that I am completely switching off and am just focused on putting one foot in front of the other – it is a fantastic feeling and gives me a break from all the other stuff I am normally dealing with.
I’m actually looking forward to when I start the longer runs of 2-3 hours in a couple of months time.
Since I have decided that I am not going to place any expectations on myself for the ultra except getting to the finish line I have found that I am enjoying training a lot more. I’m just focused on putting one foot in front of the other and am not worried about how fast I run the last mile, how quickly I got to a certain point compared to the last time I ran that route, or how many miles I’ve run.
I’m starting to realise slowly that I need to apply this to other areas of my life as well. A lot of the time I place huge expectations on myself and if I don’t achieve certain things then I am really hard on myself – this, I am starting to realise is very self-destructive.
I know that when I start looking at things in a self-destructive way my confidence and self-esteem take a rapid nose-dive and those feelings of not being good enough are almost like a tidal-wave that engulfs me.
I need to start taking the same approach with my life that I am with my training – no expectations and just keeping putting one foot in front of the other and I will reach my destination.
Richard Guy, 47 years of age, born and grew up in London and have lived in Portsmouth since 2017.