I've spent the last week sedated to within an inch of my life.  Awake three or four hours a day, to recover from the most damaging Bipolar Relapse of my entire life.  My Mania had reached such levels, of disbelief.  Jumping on cars, towards Itchen Bridge, to end my sorry life, had become laughable......Yes I can laugh about it now! I explained my plan to a rather large, Lesbian type Police Officer, who suggested we get to safety immediately.  Since she was bigger than me and was barring my way, I agreed, so long as I wasn't handcuffed!  I didn't even notice the houseful of gays opposite, stood at the door! As if I give a s*it!

The pain in my head, from rapid cycling was severe.  My mania was dangerously high and the only option open to The Mental Health Team, who greeted me, after my night in the cells, was to get me sedated, until I was able to be assessed properly.  I could not be sectioned, under The Mental Health Act, as there were no beds...Yup, that is the state of Mental Health Care in Southern England today. Still the Police Cells were comfortable and warm and breakfast was bought round by a cheery, quite fit, Police Officer in the morning.  Mental Health care could learn a lot from this!

I have been sedated for about a week now.  During this time, my partner Jason has taken me to various places, to keep my memories alive and remind me of the better parts of my past, that were positive for me and our relationship.  It has been joyous. Occasionally Chris and Natalee have come along, all serving to make me feel happy and secure, after this awful period in my life!  They, like my partner have shown so much love, I am truly grateful.  Memories are made of this!

So it's 8pm on Wednesday, (I've just had to confirm this with my partner), just to be sure.  From today my medication has been doubled, and these groggy days are just about to become groggier! I'm sure Dr Cox knows what he is talking about, so I will run with it for now.  I need to get back to work and if this is the only way, so be it.

I will not be this co-operative forever.  I remain open-minded and hopeful.  In reality, I am doubtful about how useful this situation will be for me in the long run!