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Changing Friendships!
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I have written about friends and the nature of friendships before; more times than I care to remember, but in this blog entry I wanted to write about some new/old friendships from times gone by.
When I moved to Gran Alacant, I was told it would make or break friendships, which, actually, yes it has. Many of those I left behind, remain silent, not even uttering a word, since we emigrated. Now personally I have always wondered why this happens, but as a friend in Spain told me, it is a natural progression. The ones who are not there any longer, surprise me; some, although not all, were at our Wedding last year, yet today, eight months on, I haven't heard a single word from them. I can only assume, that by leaving, there is no longer any gain for the other part of any friendship. In reality, these attachments were never really of any significance, and maybe, as is usual with me, I saw more in them, than there actually was,
One also must remember, my views on friendships are very different to most. I believe in true loyalty and bonds, not false back stabbing pretence. Most people, as I am fully aware, are shallow and only out for self gratification, until they find something better; Fact of life! Moving abroad is a big step; you will drift away from many people, but some of those who practice ignorance were important people in my life, if not in theirs. Of course that hurts, but I am a resilient person, who will overcome their connection and continue to move forwards, not backwards, where these people tend to lurk! God that sounds a bit bitter doesn't it. Well it was meant to be; forming friendships is about give and take. I spent all my life giving, getting very little in return, receiving even less now; I am bitter!
Things are not all bad however. Since moving to the Costa Blanca, there have been a few notable surprises. There are some people back in my life, who were and are again very important. I knew most of them at very different, emotional and, yes, equally distressing periods of my life. Under normal circumstances our friendships would have lasted, the test of time. When you are living through difficult periods, friendships are that much harder to keep hold of. Today I just wanted to mention a few of those, who got away and are now firmly back as cohorts and companions.
I met Dom in 2003, after going through a Bipolar relapse. As my business collapsed, myself and Darrell ended up moving in with this guy. My relapse and state of health gradually got worse; Dom was always there for both of us at that time. Eventually myself and Darrell moved permanently to our holiday home in Barnoldswick, Dom came with us. Everything went well for a short while, but as my health deteriorated further, so did our friendship. This is one person I always missed. We had some great, memorable times together, always getting into trouble and enjoying life for what it was, never taking anything seriously. We have now regained what we lost and it feels great to have him back!
Another mate, met in difficult times was Nathan, Like Dom, we were inseparable for a while, always enjoying each others company. He was always a trouble free, guest in our house, Gay Capri. Nathan was very different from others we knew. He never took anything and was always there to help. He was a joy to have around. I really can't say how much I enjoyed spending time with him; we had many, many days of fun and in the main, they were good times. Our friendship, really ended because of others people's influence. Trouble makers, always want to get in the way of others happiness and they did their best, to do just that. Nathan is back, and I am loving talking to one of the closest friends I ever had!
It has been great talking to Justin once again also. Our friendship was always passionate, lets say. We never saw eye to eye on much. Justin annoyed me as much as he made me happy, but these make for the best friendships. Justin has been in constant contact since we moved here, far, far more than the ones, we expected to stay close. He has been more supportive than anyone else I can mention. It is testimony to our volatile relationship, that we once again got in contact. These are the bonds I enjoy the most.
It has been good to also speak to Gavin once again, who has always been in my thoughts. We had a close relationship, but also one of the most destructive, which is why it had to end. It is wonderful knowing he is back though. I am only sorry I can't be there for him right now. A brief mention to Timmy; who I spoke about in my blog a few weeks back; I am extremely happy to call him a friend once again. I went through so much with this person, living with him and enjoying some great, some not so great but always memorable times. This is one man, I would give my last €uro too, though in my circumstances, that is highly unlikely to happen!
There are many others who are back. I am pleased they are in my life once again. I often laugh, thinking, they are back, because I am far enough away, as to not cause too much trouble. Whatever the reasons, friends are important; life would be all the more bland and meaningless without them. The one thing I have learned over the years, is to accept everyone for who they are. That's exactly what I'm doing; building bridges with those I love and securing the best network of friends I have ever had!
When I moved to Gran Alacant, I was told it would make or break friendships, which, actually, yes it has. Many of those I left behind, remain silent, not even uttering a word, since we emigrated. Now personally I have always wondered why this happens, but as a friend in Spain told me, it is a natural progression. The ones who are not there any longer, surprise me; some, although not all, were at our Wedding last year, yet today, eight months on, I haven't heard a single word from them. I can only assume, that by leaving, there is no longer any gain for the other part of any friendship. In reality, these attachments were never really of any significance, and maybe, as is usual with me, I saw more in them, than there actually was,
One also must remember, my views on friendships are very different to most. I believe in true loyalty and bonds, not false back stabbing pretence. Most people, as I am fully aware, are shallow and only out for self gratification, until they find something better; Fact of life! Moving abroad is a big step; you will drift away from many people, but some of those who practice ignorance were important people in my life, if not in theirs. Of course that hurts, but I am a resilient person, who will overcome their connection and continue to move forwards, not backwards, where these people tend to lurk! God that sounds a bit bitter doesn't it. Well it was meant to be; forming friendships is about give and take. I spent all my life giving, getting very little in return, receiving even less now; I am bitter!
Things are not all bad however. Since moving to the Costa Blanca, there have been a few notable surprises. There are some people back in my life, who were and are again very important. I knew most of them at very different, emotional and, yes, equally distressing periods of my life. Under normal circumstances our friendships would have lasted, the test of time. When you are living through difficult periods, friendships are that much harder to keep hold of. Today I just wanted to mention a few of those, who got away and are now firmly back as cohorts and companions.
I met Dom in 2003, after going through a Bipolar relapse. As my business collapsed, myself and Darrell ended up moving in with this guy. My relapse and state of health gradually got worse; Dom was always there for both of us at that time. Eventually myself and Darrell moved permanently to our holiday home in Barnoldswick, Dom came with us. Everything went well for a short while, but as my health deteriorated further, so did our friendship. This is one person I always missed. We had some great, memorable times together, always getting into trouble and enjoying life for what it was, never taking anything seriously. We have now regained what we lost and it feels great to have him back!
Another mate, met in difficult times was Nathan, Like Dom, we were inseparable for a while, always enjoying each others company. He was always a trouble free, guest in our house, Gay Capri. Nathan was very different from others we knew. He never took anything and was always there to help. He was a joy to have around. I really can't say how much I enjoyed spending time with him; we had many, many days of fun and in the main, they were good times. Our friendship, really ended because of others people's influence. Trouble makers, always want to get in the way of others happiness and they did their best, to do just that. Nathan is back, and I am loving talking to one of the closest friends I ever had!
It has been great talking to Justin once again also. Our friendship was always passionate, lets say. We never saw eye to eye on much. Justin annoyed me as much as he made me happy, but these make for the best friendships. Justin has been in constant contact since we moved here, far, far more than the ones, we expected to stay close. He has been more supportive than anyone else I can mention. It is testimony to our volatile relationship, that we once again got in contact. These are the bonds I enjoy the most.
It has been good to also speak to Gavin once again, who has always been in my thoughts. We had a close relationship, but also one of the most destructive, which is why it had to end. It is wonderful knowing he is back though. I am only sorry I can't be there for him right now. A brief mention to Timmy; who I spoke about in my blog a few weeks back; I am extremely happy to call him a friend once again. I went through so much with this person, living with him and enjoying some great, some not so great but always memorable times. This is one man, I would give my last €uro too, though in my circumstances, that is highly unlikely to happen!
There are many others who are back. I am pleased they are in my life once again. I often laugh, thinking, they are back, because I am far enough away, as to not cause too much trouble. Whatever the reasons, friends are important; life would be all the more bland and meaningless without them. The one thing I have learned over the years, is to accept everyone for who they are. That's exactly what I'm doing; building bridges with those I love and securing the best network of friends I have ever had!
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