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Surviving on our own, our partners living and working abroad. Coping can be hard; friends always help!
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Dawn popped over yesterday, while I was cooking up my weekly meals, to invite us out for lunch. We went to our favourite restaurant in Gran Alacant, the Dutch owned El Hatsikidee, next to the GA Centre. After lunch, we rushed home to rescue the food I had left in the oven; returning to Dawns villa afterwards for a few drinks. 
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Yesterday was the first meeting of the 'No Wives Club!' All of us out for the day, without our husbands or wives; just a tongue in cheek way of looking at our situation. We all met at Dawn's lovely home, perched on the top of a cliff, overlooking the mediterranean. Even though we are heading towards the end of November, the weather was great; you could see straight across the sea towards Benidorm. The house is in a stunning position, just what Spain is all about!
After a coffee at Dawns, she took us all to lunch at El Hatsikidee, a wonderful Dutch restaurant at the GA Centre. It was the first time, I had ever been there and it was great. The food was delicious, the service was wonderful!
Had a wonderful afternoon and evening back at Dawns. It is good to be around people in similar situations, it does help to cope with the daily problems associated with living apart from one's partner. All of us are able to give each other advice, especially at times, when you may feel lonely. Darrell is away longer than any other partner, but all of us are experiencing the same feelings. If it wasn't for this group of friends, life at the moment would be far more difficult than it is.
The most important thing to remember, when you are spending long periods apart from your partner, is that you are not alone. There are other people in your position, many of whom suffer far more than you. I have learned after four months to cope with my situation. This is in part due to my own mechanisms, but it is also through following guidance from others.
If I were to give advice to someone living apart from their partner, I can only say how I manage, what works best for me, but of course everyone is different. Firstly have a good network of friends; we are talking quality here, not quantity. So far, so good for me. The people who are close to me are fabulous and make everyday easier. Secondly, do not phone, skype or message your partner everyday; all this does, is make the whole experience more painful. Currently I speak to Darrell, maybe once a week, even less sometimes. With your other half away, you still have your own life to lead and that does not include him or her for a temporary time. Live your life, normally! Thirdly get out, as often as you can. Sitting in four walls, does not help you; it just makes you think about your situation more. Keeping oneself active and occupied also helps to divert attention into other, more productive tasks! Lastly, get a pet. This really does help with the loneliness. I would not be without my two cats. Everyone does have their own ways of coping in difficult situations. Many of you may disagree with the methods I use. In all honesty, for me they work pretty well. However you manage and survive, the one thing that you should always hold on too, is, the situation you are in, is only temporary. This realisation, makes muddling through, that much easier! 
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AuthorLuke Martin-Jones! Archives
June 2017
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