I have always found it difficult to decide just how far to go when writing the truth down.  As this is a public website, I am mindful of the public arena in which it exists. I have grown up a little over the years and do not want to publicly humiliate anyone. Unlike those who seek enjoyment out of others misfortune, I am quite able to firstly humiliate myself and have some self-control over my choice of words, names and other telling clues.  I am better than those who take enjoyment out of hurting others as a pastime, when they have run out of productive things to do!

Most importantly, anything I write does not contain real names; as long as I understand who they are, that is all that matters. I am sure those who read this stuff understand their place in this blog. Understanding is the key;  I am still fighting an illness bought on by circumstances and people using their own basic understanding, of human nature.  They lie, lie and lie again to protect themselves, although  I'm not quite sure from what, maybe themselves or others on their 'to-do list.'  Well guess what, I can write;  I can write faster than they have time to make up more drivel and bugger me, I have lots to say!

The nature of a blog is to write one's thoughts, feelings and words down in a raw form. I publish as I write, so it isn't perfect, but it has far more meaning that way.  Raw passionate writing with a message.  The message is to remind me to do better next time and has no relevance to those  I write about. They probably would not understand anyway and can barely string a sentence together, let alone know what grammar and punctuation is.

I have a blog because Facebook decided to remain banal and trivial; that's fine.  It has become a playground for Sunday dinners, selfies and shared news.  It has a large audience and is ideal to publish links to a blog, but that is all.  Mindless pap; but for all its faults, it helps one keep in contact with friends and loved ones, so all good!

Writing is something you either love or hate, and I love it.  Unlike school children today, I had a good education, was taught properly, went on to further and higher education and somehow managed to scrape through, despite all the influences, life throws your way.  I suspect my later years could be marred with a degree of senility and loss of faculties at various different stages, so  I want records of times I forget through medication and  old age.  As my carer, I want Darrell to read the entries to me on a regular basis, when all else fails.  It will also improve his reading skills and possibly be a stepping stone onto big books with leather binding!

I am told that many people with Bipolar have creative abilities, that can so easily be lost through meds.  Many like me enjoy writing, It helps to make sense of the jumbled mess, that sometimes inhabits the darker recesses of one's mind! I aim to keep my mind as active as possible, even if they put me on a killer dose of Lithium, so it's kind of an insurance policy.  It makes money, it jogs my memory, it offloads anger and for some, it can be a good read, others positively not!

Above all I will always tell the truth, unless I enter that Manic World of Mania.  Under those circumstances, I'll try and issue a disclaimer, but I think you will know to be honest.  

This blog is getting more hits than I could have imagined and has been crashing several times a day under the weight of internet traffic, ex-partners, lowlifes and Academics, I jest; It's doing great, and I'm happy about it!
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