Stress Relievers!

I've had a lot of insecurity in my life, especially over the last few years; from this comes a certain level anxiety, which  can be very difficult to cope with. Today, myself and Darrell are going through tough times; not because of us, as a couple; we couldn't be stronger, rather the circumstances that currently surround us. Life is very challenging at the moment, for a variety of different reasons; as a worrier, I tend to dwell on the negative, rather more than I should.  For me it is a natural reaction.  I will constantly analyse a situation, trying to find a conclusion to our current state of well being. Over this last week, I have slept very little, as Darrell left Spain yet again; part of a process, we need to go through, in order to secure a decent future in the long term.

I cope with difficulties in very different ways.  My first, natural reaction, is to shut myself away.  I have always followed this course of action, ever since I can remember. I shut out the World and ignore everyone and everything going on around me.  If you like, I bury my head in the sand and hope things will go away.  In reality, they never dissipate and will always be there, until I recognise their significance and deal with the ramifications. Time out, doesn't really hurt anyone; picking up the pieces, that will still be there tomorrow, can always wait another day or two.

I do have many other coping mechanisms, learned, from taking a close look at myself as a person, offering reassurance, reducing anxiety and taking me to a far better place.  

Today for example, I have been feeling particularly low, especially after suffering this prolonged illness, so have been doing all the things needed to bring me back into the land of the living. Firstly spending time with Lily, my surviving cat. Cats are very sensitive creatures, Lily no exception; a relaxing day spent with a fury friend, purring into ones ear, is not only relaxing, but also therapeutic.  We both need each others company, especially now.  It has helped her and me alike. Precious herself, first came into my life in 2005, as a way of helping me get over a long illness; it or rather she worked amazingly well.  Having something or someone to take care of, does take ones mind off ones own problems, that can only be a good thing.

Watching certain television programes also helps relieve anxiety and stress; two in particular, the first is 'The Antiques Roadshow' This show literally takes me back to an altogether better time; anything that looks to the past, seems to be a great healer for me. I do as a person, take great comfort in history, turning a time of anxiety into a period of reflection, about events that have shaped my life. 'The Antiques Road Show' is a British institution, I was always brought up watching, ever since I was a child, so it does have great memories for me; not necessarily the items being appraised on the show, but the show itself as well as looking back at family time, spent watching it on a Sunday. Family memories are indeed happy memories.

Another show, that helps me to relieve the pressures, I suffer, from time to time, is a little more difficult to explain; 'Star Trek Voyager!' This series of the popular Star Trek series, hit our television screens, around the same time, Darrell and myself began our relationship together; a happy time! I am of course a big fan of anything Space or alien related and read or watch UFO material all the time. My belief in alien life, is comforting.  It tells me their is something else out there, just as I believe there is something else, after we die and of course my belief, that although things may be bad today, they wont always be in the future.  I've also always wanted to travel to Space, as I believe we all do, when we eventually leave this mortal coil; 'Start Trek Voyager' is based on a concept, that I believe will one day, become reality; looking towards all our futures! 

Of course the biggest stress reliever for me, is probably writing. It doesn't matter what is going on in my life, or even how bad it is, writing will always allow me to escape, to wherever I want to go, normally as far away as possible.  I do  find, writing about the worrying aspects of my journey,  a great way of dealing with any negative impacts. Writing allows me to face, head on, any circumstances, no matter how hard they are. When I look back to why I started to write in the first place, I can see  behaviour traits, that have allowed me to explore my own patterns of thought over the years.  As a child, I started writing, from about the age of ten, to escape  a World of bullying. I used to write about wondrous places, happy times, positive manifestations, completely different, from what was, the norm, at that time. Today I still write, but it does not detract from the harsh realities around me. Today my writing includes, the worst aspects of life.  One day I will write about the good things  again, just not yet!

All of us, have our own unique ways, of dealing with stress and anxiety.  I may chose different things to you, but I desire the same outcome; an escape from the reality of life, that at times, can be too much to bear.  Today, I am writing this blog entry, because it helps me forget the death of my cat Precious; it also keeps my mind active, during a very inactive period of my life. As long as you have something to remove yourself from a painful situation, even for a minute, you can be sure, of picking up the pieces, once more. If you never escape, you may never pick up those pieces again!