Lockdown Life - Restrictions Eased!

I was back out walking yesterday, for the first time in a week. Since going back to work and with the rain in constant flow, I haven't had as much time to do the things I would like. Nevertheless, I walked a healthy seven miles, down to the coast and back again, even though the sun barely peeped through the clouds.

I haven't been in the best frame of mind recently as you all know, having come to the end of an awful two weeks holiday, when I should have been away in the far east. I have probably had too much time on my hands and spent rather a lot of time thinking. Like everyone else I just want this terrible time to be over. This week was the first time in a while, that I really felt depressed; that hasn't happened for a long time. I have had down periods, but this has been a struggle to conquer and I have done my best to block it out and just carry on as normal.

I am finding people a strain; they are out in droves once again and ignoring Government guidelines, whilst the rest of us try to do the right thing. With lockdown measures eased dramatically, the country is getting back to some kind of normality. The trouble is, it isn't normal, and we are still in the middle of a pandemic, with deaths recorded in the hundreds and I fear things are going to get gradually worse again, unless people start taking notice of social distancing rules.

Last night I needed cheering up, so watched a film, I haven't seen since I lived in Spain, 'Beautiful Thing.' This amazing 'coming out' movie has great poignancy for Darrell and I, released just a year after we got together and always takes me back to our first few carefree years as a couple, before we began fighting for our right to remain in the UK as partners. Unless you are gay, you will really never understand the importance of 'coming out' to family and friends. Back in the early 1990s it was the biggest issue on my mind and really became the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I contemplated before I went to sleep.

As I'm sure you are aware by now, I didn't have an easy time of declaring my homosexuality and as such found 'Beautiful Thing' comforting at a very difficult time. Of course all of us are experiencing anguish and anxiety today, for very different reasons and once again I watched a film that has got me through some dark days in the past; by the end of it, I felt suitably relaxed and content. It has always been important for me to feel secure and well-adjusted in my environment, wherever I am; I certainly haven't had a lot of security in recent years, so anything that gives me a lift is welcome; I have even spent the afternoon today, watching Jane McDonald, cruising around the World; a reminder of happier times!

From watching retro television programmes, sorting through photographs, speaking to old friends on the telephone and writing about better moments in my life, I have done everything I can to feel comfortable during the last three months. For the most part, I did well, even surprising myself at times. I think all of us have to do what we can to get through the worst of the virus, all the while, remembering there are others worse off than us. With the easing of lockdown restrictions, it won't be too long before the most serious phase of this pandemic becomes a distant memory, and we all look forward to a new, untested future. We should however, never forget just what transpired in all our lives, after all we will all remember this period for generations to come, recalling events that made us the people we are today and hoping to god it never happens again!

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