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After a little over two months, I have achieved my weight loss target of two stone. Today I weigh 85 kilograms, down from 97.6, just a few weeks ago. Actually when I stepped on the scales this morning, I was a rather pleasing 84.5 kilograms, no mean feat, after trying to lose excess fat, on and off for years. I have sadly always had an ongoing battle to control my waist size, since I was a teenager and no matter how much I've tried, I've never really got to my ideal 'normal' weight. So today is a great day for me, and although I have a little more left to lose, I am happy to be healthier and in much better shape, especially at fifty years old.

You wouldn't believe how many diets I have tried and although some succeeded, to differing degrees, I have never managed to keep the pounds off and have gained weight faster than I lost it in the first place. I suppose if one looks at my fight against fat, one can see the reasons for the numerous gastrointestinal issues I suffer with today.

I eat because I am depressed, down or suffer with anxiety. Immediately, I reach for the block of cheese in the fridge or the biggest bar of chocolate I can find. My relationship with food is complicated and my state of mind is the biggest factor in why I eat the way I do and gain or lose weight as a consequence.

Living apart from my husband over the last few years, during the middle of a pandemic, has been a struggle if I am honest. Since I returned home from Spain, I have suffered from a growing list of health problems; when one factors in the loss of my Mum and Great Aunt, my Mothers-in-law's ongoing cancer and our continual battle with the Home Office and immigration, one can see, just how difficult life has been. Comfort eating has always been a concern, but since the beginning of October, I have managed to break that psychological link between head and stomach.

My weight loss journey has been helped by having a friend, who is also on a diet; she has been with me every step of the way. We regularly post our weight on WhatsApp, which more than motivates me to carry on and keep it up. This has indeed been a deeply personal quest, but it has also been a joint effort, between two people who decided enough was enough.

I do feel so much better; I can walk faster, go up and down stairs without getting out of breath and despite eating fewer calories, I have far more energy than I used to. I get tired less, enjoy the food I eat more, and can literally feel the difference in my body. Cutting out fat, processed food, cheese, refined sugar and unhealthy snacks has been an eye-opener. I have not missed any of the things I used to eat and more importantly I haven't denied myself anything; I have just learnt to control portion sizes. Unlike previous diets, I have eaten out, enjoyed home cooked meals and eaten a dessert if it is on the menu. The only real difference is, I don't do it all the time and rejoin my diet the day after; luckily it seems to have paid off, and I feel fitter and healthier than ever.

I'm not over yet; I still have a few more kilos to lose, but I am more or less there, having achieved the last two goals I set for myself. By Christmas, I will be at my preferred weight and I can celebrate fully, like everyone else, for just one day. This has been a challenge I have relished, especially at such a testing time in my life, but I have embraced it with gusto and hope to maintain what I have achieved, in contrast to diets of the past. At my age, I want a healthy future and an end to weight related ailments. The older I get, the more aware of my own mortality I become; all of us need to do what we can, to stay fitter and stronger for longer. I want productive and prosperous years ahead, and this weight loss program is just the beginning of that process!
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