Toxic People - Reply!

I suppose you could call this an update on my blog entry yesterday, talking about 'toxic people.' I had a message in my inbox this morning from an upset, young lady, asking me a few questions about this post. I have kept the persons identity anonymous and will refer to them as Angela.

Angela has spent a long time, building up a good network of friends, most of them perfectly fine and personable. Like most groups, especially those close, there is one person, causing problems with everyone else. Toxic people are attracted to this kind of scenario; they use it to drive wedges between friendships, that were favourable and constructive, before they came along. I have been in a similar position Angela and I had to make a decision, about what to do.

I have tried to live with toxic people in the past; it didn't work. I ended up constantly stressed and upset; it really did make me ill. Having gone through hard times because of some truly terrible people, I am well aware of how to deal with them now. Do you remember the quote I posted yesterday Angela? A toxic person or people will seek to control you and how others see you, which does seem unfair. They will always be this way and will not change, they can't, it is part of their psyche.

It is difficult for me to say, you have to ditch them and those you associate with mutually as a result of one or more peoples actions, but the reality is, you have to. In order to move on with your life, you have to get rid of their influence in every respect. It does seem unfair doesn't it Angela, but the reality is, you are observant enough to understand what and who they are; you recognise the pain it is causing you, while others are not. Maybe your other friends really do know, but are afraid, like you, to close this chapter because of feeling isolated and alone. These are real feelings and as daunting as it seems now, closure is the best way to move forward; you deserve better. Even today, I come across these types of individuals, every day; I have to walk away. I've changed, I know the signs, I have to exercise choices to improve my life; above all I have to make the difficult decisions, others wont and you know what, I am feeling fantastic because of it!

Eventually those in your group will also understand, just what is going on; manipulation, trouble making, lies, misinformation, drama and abuse; they too will be confronted by the reality and hopefully walk away. Maybe then you can try and rebuild those friendships!

I hope this helps Angela; please message me if you need any more advice, best of luck!