Then and Now - 1 Year on!

It has been one year since the beginning of my relapse, that finally ended on 31 January 2016, when we  left The UK and moved to Spain.  When I actually look back at the photographs from that time.  I am horrified at just how bad I actually looked.

Even comparing two years ago, to today, way before I relapsed, there is a marked difference in the way I look.  Spain has made me feel young in ways, you would't believe. Of course the biggest factor for me, is just being out of The UK.  What happened to me, over the last year, was something I could only forget when I took a leap of faith and did what I had to do, what we were told to do and the advise we were so happy to eventually follow!

Here we are one year on, from those traumatic days, when Natalee took care of me, cooked for Jason and was there to see us through the worst of situations. Natalee was there throughout my illness and without her, I would not necessarily have recovered so well or indeed as quickly.  She was a rock of support, at an extremely traumatic juncture in both Darrell's and my own life.  I have never forgotten what she did and never will!

​Most of what I went through in April 2015, has become a blur, a distant memory and something I just can not recall, fully.  The mind has a marvellous inbuilt trigger, that prevents long term damage, by storing terrible memories, somewhere safe, until we are ready to face them.  To be honest I am not fully sure, I will ever want or be able to recall events completely.  Maybe I will just not want to remember, what is essentially a period of my life better forgotten in all respects.

So what have I learned over the last year, if anything?  Well, the experiences I endured, as bad as they were, have taught me much about people, the nature of some of the worst kind of human beings and the amazing abilities of others, who have been the greatest source of inspiration over this period.  

The friends I have today, are not the ones I ever expected to be close, a year ago, with two exceptions.  The ones that pretended to be concerned, who offered false words of hope, who said they would help and the ones who were good with words, making you feel at ease and comfortable and the ones that are now long gone. These were the people, who were only there to take advantage of a situation, that they knew they could manipulate.  Thank god they are gone, thank God I got through, realising exactly who and what they were.  These were extremely hard lessons to learn and hurt tremendously, knowing the truth.  There was absolutely no other way of securing a future for myself and Darrell, with these people in our life,  They were partly to blame for what happened, were complicit in the continued events and were of course just using us, because they were unable or unwilling to stand up and be decent human beings.  These were not only friends and family but they were also colleagues and trusted superiors, who were nothing more than game players, degenerates and people who have no place in a normal society!

I do sound bitter, don't I, well I suppose I am to an extent.  I am not bitter about what happened,  because really it has taught me those lessons we all need to learn in life, hard lessons, but necessary to grow and move forwards in life.  No the bitterness and lies, in discovering that those you thought were close, were nothing more than liars and  terrible people, who we should have never trusted in the first place, was a lot to handle!

Natalee arrives tomorrow evening and she is one of the good ones.  She wasn't fake, a liar or complicit in anything.  She was actually there for us, for no other reason than to help us through,  She never asked for anything and unlike others, never used us!  A great girl who is coming to live with us and restart her life!

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As usual, I had a drink after work.  Not only had it been a long day, but it was a hot one too and a pint always goes down great after cooking in a kitchen.  Inevitably one drink turned into more and it was nice sitting talking to Mandy and her daughter Zoe in the bar and just goes to show, how welcoming the Dunbar family are.

We popped out, with Zoe after Dunbar's closed, to Zest for a few more drinks, where we got to know her further.  She is  a great girl and a delight to know!

It's been another great few days here in paradise and we are still loving our new life in Spain.  We are of course looking forward to seeing Natalee tomorrow night and will keep you updated, with all of our progress, during our time, living and working on The Costa's!