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On Monday, I had my pre-op with the Upper GI department at Queen Alexandra Hospital. Having only ever had one operation before, in the 1980s, for an emergency appendix removal, I really have no idea what to expect. According to the lovely lady I spoke to on the phone, times have changed a lot, since the last time I had a general anaesthetic. Naturally however I am worried about having major surgery, especially because I have so many other conditions to contend with, but suitably reassured, I am looking forward to having my gallbladder finally removed, after a year and a half wait.

The operation itself shouldn't be too difficult and is a relatively common procedure. It is carried out through keyhole surgery, unless they have to do an open removal, which would complicate matters and extend the recovery time. My biggest concern is how much damage has been done, because of the long wait due to the pandemic. Also, I have a lot of left sided pain, rather than right, which is unusual and may indicate something different is going on. At the moment, I just don't know how bad the damage is; this is an operation that should have been scheduled a year ago.

The severity of the pain I have been experiencing would suggest other internal processes at work. My symptoms are wide and varied, probably because of IBS and the other illnesses I suffer with, but I am trying to remain focused on the future and what happens after the operation.

Of course, I am hoping my quality of life will improve after the cholecystectomy, but that isn't guaranteed. Most people return to normal afterwards and are able to eat a conventional diet, but for others it isn't that simple.  For some, eating a diet that contains fat of any kind is impossible, with the body unable to process it in the same way again; this isn't dissimilar to my eating habits today. Currently, I can only eat very small amounts of fat in my diet, due to a dysfunctional gallbladder. If I do consume too much, the pain is unbearable, and I am immediately sick. I am so careful with what I consume, because of the terrible symptoms I suffer, if I stray too far away from natural, non-processed foods. I am well aware of the difficulties ahead, but am prepared to have the procedure anyway, in order to try to get back to a semblance of normality and a regular routine, of sorts.

It looks like I will be off work for a couple of weeks, while the wounds heal. I will be left with five small scars across my abdomen, after the gallbladder is removed. Initially they will be sore, but should improve quickly, and I should be up and about in a relatively short time. Unable to do anything strenuous for six weeks, I hope to be back to my old self by September, although I will probably live with Gastrointestinal issues for a lot longer. Naturally, I have read much on the operation, especially in conjunction with IBS, and I am apprehensive, my IBS may get worse. I have so many GI issues now, that my stomach just doesn't know whether it's coming or going, and I have a feeling this is something I will have to live with long term. Preparing for the worst is my forte; being the realist I am, I just have to keep hoping for the best case scenario!


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Sadly, Darrell will not be here when I am in Hospital, which of course adds extra anxiety, to an already challenging situation. Like so many other milestones in our life together recently, we will not be together, and that makes everything more difficult. Having an operation, whilst my partner is in another country, is going to be hard. I keep having thoughts of not waking up and never seeing him again. I have been preparing for any eventuality and making sure all my affairs are in order before my op on the 26th. Making sure Darrell is aware of any issues that may arise, is top of my agenda, just in case the worst happens, but let's not dwell and only concentrate on the new beginning that will follow.

On Monday I have a series of blood tests, to check my iron levels and make sure I am well enough to have the operation, then on Friday I will have a PCR COVID test and immediately go into self-isolation, before the operation on Monday morning. I have been told it may be a long wait and that I will also have to stay in hospital afterwards, to be monitored, mainly because I don't have anyone who can be with me for 24 hours after the procedure. Staying in hospital during a pandemic, is also not something I am looking forward to, but I am aware I will be kept in the safest parts of QA and will be as protected as I can be.

Whatever the outcome, I am just glad it will be finally over. Unless the pandemic really accelerates and hospital beds fill, cancelling the gallbladder operation. I hope to be back at work within a few weeks, until then, I'll just sit, worry, procrastinate and act like the nervous wreck I normally am; it's the way I have always muddled through and part of the person I have always been.
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