'Our destiny lies firmly in the hands of others!'

In one weeks time, Darrell will be returning from Spain for the last time. For him, this is the end of his European adventure, as he prepares for his trip back home to see his Mother in Australia. Her health has deteriorated to such an extent, he is needed back home, where he can help her through her current illness. With both our respective Mothers ill on different sides of the World, this is turning into a rather challenging time for us both and we have to do our best under extremely demanding circumstances. These are indeed dark days, but we are both well aware of our own responsibilities; nobody could have predicted our current position, as we continue to travel along life's rocky road. When we first packed up and left for a new life in Spain, we were both full of hope for the future, today that future is well and truly over!

Our long term life in the UK also remains in the balance. Both Darrell and I are unsure as to where we go from here; we have to keep our options open. Neither of us know exactly what to expect. In truth any decisions about our destiny lies firmly in the hands of others and that is quite a scary thought.

Making long term plans is a long way off for now, so we are just both going to see how the next few months pan out. The only certainty I have today, is that my life will stay firmly rooted in Portsmouth and Darrell's will divaricate towards Australia; this is the best option for both of us, as we do what we can to help our Mothers. When I tell people about our situation, as I did the other night, they look as confused as I am on a daily basis. There is no point trying to take advice from them or anyone, since there is no answer to our predicament. Feeling trapped with my back against a brick wall, would describe how I feel all the time, I just have no idea what is going to happen further down the line.

When Darrell arrives next Monday, we will both have to sit down and work out just 'what happens next;' we need the semblance of a plan at least in order to keep us focused on the long term goal of being reunited again properly in the future. No relationship should have to undergo the complications we have to endure, only perseverance and determination will get us through this dreadful phase, as they have have done so in the past. Of course our relationship was established through adversity and we are well versed in battling under the worst of conditions. Nothing has ever come easy for us, we have fought for everything we have achieved and have relied on no one. I sometimes wish that someone, anyone, would just offer a little support now and again, just to alleviate the burden we have to face every single day of our life. In reality there is no magic wand or Fairy Godmother and we will just have to keep striving the best we can

A life like ours was never going to be easy; today's entry is about the way I am feeling after such a traumatic few years. Next week our Expat life in Gran Alacant comes to an end, it was just never meant to be. I am glad it is finally over and we can both move forwards; now is the time to start again, only this time making the correct choices and doing the right things; next Monday will be the beginning of the rest of our life!