Murderer In Our Midst!

A few months ago someone I once knew, was sentenced to life in Prison for murdering his partner. Shane Roberts (Not his real name) viciously attacked his girlfriend Marie with a baseball bat, before stabbing her in the neck with a shard of glass from a broken mirror. I was in two minds whether to write anything about this incident, but felt compelled to after the impact he had on my life and that of my friends! Initially I was going to write about this incident in December, when his sentence was announced, but felt the trauma for all those involved was too raw and left it until today, before writing these words!

Shane was introduced to me and others by a mutual friend and at first we all got on well as a group. He had a charm about him that was actually quite endearing, but on occasion, a nasty side would surface; alarm bells would ring. During this time he formed a relationship with one of my friends, who I will call Lisa; consequently she became pregnant with his child, giving birth to a lovely baby girl, who it has to be said, is a credit to her, bringing her up extremely well, away from the destructive influence of her Father.

Like Marie, this young Mum went through a difficult time, suffering abuse on a daily basis. On one occasion I witnessed him attack her and it wasn't long before these two individuals split and went their separate ways; this wasn't the end of the matter however and Shane continued to make life difficult for Lisa and others who knew her! After giving evidence to the Police, Shane was ordered to stay away, but continued to harass those who knew her best, turning up on my doorstep, pleading for help before I left to live in Spain. At the time I felt guilty about not letting him into my home, but realise now, I could have had a lucky escape.

I had very little contact with Shane after we moved abroad, but did hear from him from time to time, usually a sob story about how his life was going and how the World was against him. Lisa had also moved on, but still looked over her shoulder, wondering when he would turn up and the circle of strife would start all over again. All the while Shane continued down a reckless path, frequently arrested and spending time in jail.

When I announced I was returning to the UK on 25 May 2018, Shane was the first person I heard from, trying to arrange a meeting, wanting to see me urgently, for reasons unknown. He bombarded my mobile night and day and eventually I blocked him from social media and my phone. This isn't the course of action I would have followed in the past, always trying to do what I could to help someone who needed it most, but something told me it was the right thing at the time. I have become a very good judge of character in recent years and without exception follow my gut instinct, when deciding whether or not to remove someone from my life.

As a trained Mentor and Advocate, I was always aware of how to deal with certain individuals and used my experiences to help those unfortunate souls who had lost their way in life. Part of my skills, learned whilst working for 'Action for Children,' was my ability to listen and articulate what I had heard, in order to create a dialogue between two inherently opposed sides. I have always been a good negotiator and do my best to achieve an amicable outcome for all, without the need for confrontation and conflict. I see the good in people and want them to succeed and overcome adversity, because all of us deserve the same chances in life. Shane however pushed me to the limits of what I could reasonably do and sadly I chose to give up on him as a person. This had rarely happened in my life, but one must reasonably know when to draw the line.

When I was told what had transpired between Shane and his partner, I was shocked. I knew this guy had his problems, but didn't think for one minute he could be a murderer; although thinking logically, what does a murderer actually look and act like anyway?

Yesterday I was asked if I wanted to do some more advocacy work, with a leading British charity, something I have agreed to think about. Today I lead a very busy life and rarely have time to think, but I am always open to new challenges and understand I can make a difference to other peoples lives. There will always be people like Shane in the World, people that can't be assisted, but there are also others who may have just gone off the rails and can be encouraged to mend their ways. I often think 'what if?' in Shane's case, but am frequently reminded that he was a person who couldn't be helped in the end. Rather than beating myself up over a man who will spend the rest of his life in jail, I should be concentrating on those he left behind, the real victims and providing a voice, a shoulder to cry on and a catalyst for expression.

I hope to channel my time and energy into helping those who need it most and will likely accept an offer to become an advocate once again. The personalities and characters we meet throughout our lives are a benchmark for the future. I hope to use my experiences with Shane to push me forwards along roads I haven't travelled before. As his memory fades, new impressions will take his place and the negativity that surrounds his departure will become a positive change for the future!