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Memory Joggers!
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It's been a funny old day today. I have been going through old memories yet again, throwing away documents I have had lying around for years. I came across the old deeds for our house in France, the one we bought seventeen years ago. Of course we sold the property, along with the others we owned a long time ago.
whilst rifling through memories I was transported back to very different times; for the most part better and happier days, during a period when Darrell and I were doing remarkably well. Of course life takes many different paths and our time together has been somewhat adventurous; as many ups than downs; all part of the course when you are in a relationship such as ours. To be honest we have done so much in our life, that there hasn't really been a time we have stood still for more than five minutes, let alone settle down for a while. As people we have always liked to experience new things, one of the reasons we moved to Spain, yet there still seems to be something missing, something I can't quite put my finger on.
When I look at my family, Mother and Father in particular, I am reminded just how far they came in life. They told me much about growing up just after the Second World War; the 'Baby Boomer' generation. Like most people at the time, they struggled; there was very little money around and they fought hard to keep their heads above water. Today, despite the setbacks, Mum and Dad are very happy with their life, retired at 70 years old, enjoying the fruits of their labours. The thing is, Mother and Father never left the UK, never went on a holiday and never saw the World; very different to the life I have had.
I never used to understand why they chose to remain a part of the small village community and not widen their horizons, but then I never really understood the true meaning of contentment. I have always had a restless mind, wanting to achieve everything at once, all or nothing and no going back; as my old college lecturer said to me, I had a rather 'Do or die' attitude to life. Well yes I suppose I did, but things have changed and I finally want what my parents have; security, family, familiarity and a sense of well-being, something I don't have at the moment. Today I feel a little bit lost, it's true and I am trying to find the correct path to navigate, to restore my self worth, something I lost many years ago.
I do have many wonderful memories and of course share as many of them with you, my readers as I can. When you have lived the life we have, it is good to communicate your experiences to a wider audience. Actually since I began blogging three years ago, I have enjoyed reminiscing with family and friends, reliving the odd recollection I had forgotten about and putting pen to paper analysing just what was going on in my life at the time. This has been a life enhancing process and has allowed me to grow as a person, whilst remembering things I had forgotten long ago.
As I went through some old letters today, I came across one describing events before Darrell and I got together, in 1992, during my years at University. My ex-partner and I had travelled to London for the weekend, to help celebrate a friends Birthday. While we were away the decorators were in artexing the ceiling in our new flat. On our return, we were left aghast, at the mess that was left behind, plaster everywhere, on new furniture and carpets; safe to say, neither of us were very happy. Without this written account, I wouldn't have remembered the incident. As I read the account, I was transported back to the early 90s, where more and more memories came flooding back; a comforting journey I needed right now!
I was a terrible hoarder in the past, having many collections of everything you can imagine. The biggest advantage to my 'squirreling' nature, is the cache of documents, cards, letters and photo's I have also amassed. These are the 'memory joggers,' the links to the past that I need to hold on to, in order to move forwards in life. I have enjoyed clearing away the cobwebs; my mind feels unclouded; my past is more relevant now than it ever was!
whilst rifling through memories I was transported back to very different times; for the most part better and happier days, during a period when Darrell and I were doing remarkably well. Of course life takes many different paths and our time together has been somewhat adventurous; as many ups than downs; all part of the course when you are in a relationship such as ours. To be honest we have done so much in our life, that there hasn't really been a time we have stood still for more than five minutes, let alone settle down for a while. As people we have always liked to experience new things, one of the reasons we moved to Spain, yet there still seems to be something missing, something I can't quite put my finger on.
When I look at my family, Mother and Father in particular, I am reminded just how far they came in life. They told me much about growing up just after the Second World War; the 'Baby Boomer' generation. Like most people at the time, they struggled; there was very little money around and they fought hard to keep their heads above water. Today, despite the setbacks, Mum and Dad are very happy with their life, retired at 70 years old, enjoying the fruits of their labours. The thing is, Mother and Father never left the UK, never went on a holiday and never saw the World; very different to the life I have had.
I never used to understand why they chose to remain a part of the small village community and not widen their horizons, but then I never really understood the true meaning of contentment. I have always had a restless mind, wanting to achieve everything at once, all or nothing and no going back; as my old college lecturer said to me, I had a rather 'Do or die' attitude to life. Well yes I suppose I did, but things have changed and I finally want what my parents have; security, family, familiarity and a sense of well-being, something I don't have at the moment. Today I feel a little bit lost, it's true and I am trying to find the correct path to navigate, to restore my self worth, something I lost many years ago.
I do have many wonderful memories and of course share as many of them with you, my readers as I can. When you have lived the life we have, it is good to communicate your experiences to a wider audience. Actually since I began blogging three years ago, I have enjoyed reminiscing with family and friends, reliving the odd recollection I had forgotten about and putting pen to paper analysing just what was going on in my life at the time. This has been a life enhancing process and has allowed me to grow as a person, whilst remembering things I had forgotten long ago.
As I went through some old letters today, I came across one describing events before Darrell and I got together, in 1992, during my years at University. My ex-partner and I had travelled to London for the weekend, to help celebrate a friends Birthday. While we were away the decorators were in artexing the ceiling in our new flat. On our return, we were left aghast, at the mess that was left behind, plaster everywhere, on new furniture and carpets; safe to say, neither of us were very happy. Without this written account, I wouldn't have remembered the incident. As I read the account, I was transported back to the early 90s, where more and more memories came flooding back; a comforting journey I needed right now!
I was a terrible hoarder in the past, having many collections of everything you can imagine. The biggest advantage to my 'squirreling' nature, is the cache of documents, cards, letters and photo's I have also amassed. These are the 'memory joggers,' the links to the past that I need to hold on to, in order to move forwards in life. I have enjoyed clearing away the cobwebs; my mind feels unclouded; my past is more relevant now than it ever was!
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