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The last week has been a difficult one for me and I haven't really been in the mood for blogging. I am a natural worrier and stresser, it is part of my make up, who I am and something that isn't going to change anytime soon. Last week I found a lump, just below my breast on top of my ribs. My first thought immediately turned to Cancer and I went into panic mode, phoning the GP surgery here in Portsmouth.

I saw a lovely lady Doctor who prodded and probed around the area where I had felt the tiny pea shaped lump and agreed it shouldn't be there. I was hoping she would just turn round and say it's just a cyst, something I quite regularly suffer with and have about twenty or so over my body. I am well used to these anomalies and have been reassured in the past about their nature and make up. They cause me no annoyance or concern and there has never been a reason to have any removed. This new lump however is different; only because of where it is situated. Had it been anywhere else, I wouldn't have batted an eye lid. For some reason the fear of Cancer overtook my normally rational mind and I decided to have it further investigated.

The Doctor told me I would have to make an appointment at Queen Alexander Hospital, to have an Ultrasound test, just to make sure there was nothing sinister going on and not to worry too much, as I had no other signs that could point to a negative diagnosis. It is standard practice these days to refer patients for further testing when something unaccountable is found. Nevertheless I couldn't help worrying and am still concerned today, as I write this blog.

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I saw the Doctor on Monday and today I am still worrying constantly. I can't leave the lump alone, constantly probing it, to see if it is still there or has got any bigger. I mentioned my situation at work in the pub last night and was helped immensely by a customer and friend Sarah (in photograph above, with her lovely family,) who had been in a similar position a while ago. She was good enough to feel the lump and said it felt the same as the one she found, which turned out to be harmless, putting my mind at rest somewhat.

With no other symptoms - weight loss, swollen lymph nodes, skin rashes and a temperature, I am hoping for a positive outcome. Like most things in this World nothing is certain and for now, all I can do is just carry on and try to put this episode to the back of my mind. I haven't been touching the lump too much today and am trying to concentrate on other things. With my holiday coming up soon, I am not even sure I will have the ultrasound test completed before I leave; luckily I have a prearranged appointment with my GP on Monday, where I will get her to assess the condition and hopefully give me further direction, as to what to do next. The GP I saw on Monday was a duty Doctor and not the one I usually see, so hopefully my GP can be more enlightening on any course of action I should take.

I'm off out for a meal at my Cousins house in Fareham later this evening, so at least that will give me a few hours of family time away from the difficulties in my own life. My Cousins Chris and Maria are always a friendly face to see and do give me the motivation to keep moving forwards in life. The truth is, it hasn't been easy moving back to the UK, but with out all those around me, including my Aunt Trisha, things have gradually got easier. I have had a lot of issues to deal with but thankfully I have dealt with each one successfully. With our trip to Asia only a few weeks away, I am hoping the next few months will be positive, well lets see how Monday goes first!
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