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Insomnia!
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Insomnia, insomnia, the story of my life. I have always suffered with poor sleep. ever since I can remember. When I used to go to bed at night, I just could not switch off and shut down. Night time was the only period, I really had anytime to myself, so rather than fall asleep, I would just stay awake thinking, constantly mulling thoughts over in my head; thoughts about the day, what was happening tomorrow or about the future, in fact anything and everything!
I went to bed at about 1am, this morning, although I didn't really fall asleep to gone 4am. As usual I had a lot on my mind. I have various articles to finish for a number of publications, as well as some issues to do with our current circumstances, that need to be dealt with soon. I always keep a pen and paper by the side of my bed; if i wake up, I generally write thoughts and dreams down, using them at a later date, to help with decision making!
There have been different stages in my life, when the insomnia has been better and worse. I was on medication in the past, Mirtazapine and Quetiapine for sleep disorders; They tended not to work in the end. During my last year in The UK, I made a choice to give up my medication, as our plans to move to Spain, started to come to fruition. The process of coming off such a large dose, was difficult, but as I write this now, I can safely say it was worth it. You see, I actually quite enjoy being an insomniac. In the early hours of the morning, my mind, works on over drive. My imagination and thoughts surpass anything I have written or thought about during the day. The fact that the night is quiet and peaceful, is especially beneficial in Spain. If I was on medication, I don't feel, I would be as creative as I am now!
Dealing and managing insomnia, without medication, can be difficult. Being able to take a pill and just drift off to sleep, almost immediately is great. It is rather like turning a switch on and off, that appeals to me, but I know the option of takings meds in Spain is limited. The Spanish health system is very different to that of the British. Many of the conditions you are treated for, back home, just are not recognised. Depression, Manic Depression and other psychological illnesses, are not funded in the same way, so for me, giving up medication, was my only option. So far it has worked remarkably well.
Living in Spain, has taught me many things about life. You really do not have time to deal with the same issues, that you did, when living in The UK. At present, I do not suffer with depression, in the same way I did. The environmental changes, the change of lifestyle and the breathing exercises I take, work well. Most importantly, the people who caused my depression to get out of control, the ones that took advantage and the ones who were responsible for my relapse, are not around me. I have had many months to rebuild my life, in a way that does not involve, bad people.
Once I had made the choice to leave The UK, I spent the final period in Britain adjusting to my new, coming circumstances. The bulk of the hard work was done there: before even entering Spain. Back home, I was ill, more ill than I could ever remember. I was receiving advice from many different people, all the time. Official help, words of comfort from friends as well as destructive lies peddled by others. At the time, there was just too much fog in the way of the truth, so I was unable to tell the good from the bad. Now, finally settled in Gran Alacant, I can finally take a step back and decipher, what happened to me all those months ago, I keep my depression at bay and use my insomnia as time to think and reassess just what happened.
The fog has gradually cleared over time. Sat in my new home, without the haze of medication I was on, away from the smokescreen, that others put up, to prevent me seeing the truth, I have been able to finally come to the right conclusions. The answers you discover are not necessarily great for your state of wellbeing, but they are at least the correct words, the ones, others should have directed one to in the past. I am happier now, more than I have been for many years. I am sad my husband is not here with me, but I am glad I have been able to grapple with important issues, that had blighted me and my life for too long. Having solved many of them, learned to manage others and forget the rest, I can now try and get a grip on my insomnia.
I went to bed at about 1am, this morning, although I didn't really fall asleep to gone 4am. As usual I had a lot on my mind. I have various articles to finish for a number of publications, as well as some issues to do with our current circumstances, that need to be dealt with soon. I always keep a pen and paper by the side of my bed; if i wake up, I generally write thoughts and dreams down, using them at a later date, to help with decision making!
There have been different stages in my life, when the insomnia has been better and worse. I was on medication in the past, Mirtazapine and Quetiapine for sleep disorders; They tended not to work in the end. During my last year in The UK, I made a choice to give up my medication, as our plans to move to Spain, started to come to fruition. The process of coming off such a large dose, was difficult, but as I write this now, I can safely say it was worth it. You see, I actually quite enjoy being an insomniac. In the early hours of the morning, my mind, works on over drive. My imagination and thoughts surpass anything I have written or thought about during the day. The fact that the night is quiet and peaceful, is especially beneficial in Spain. If I was on medication, I don't feel, I would be as creative as I am now!
Dealing and managing insomnia, without medication, can be difficult. Being able to take a pill and just drift off to sleep, almost immediately is great. It is rather like turning a switch on and off, that appeals to me, but I know the option of takings meds in Spain is limited. The Spanish health system is very different to that of the British. Many of the conditions you are treated for, back home, just are not recognised. Depression, Manic Depression and other psychological illnesses, are not funded in the same way, so for me, giving up medication, was my only option. So far it has worked remarkably well.
Living in Spain, has taught me many things about life. You really do not have time to deal with the same issues, that you did, when living in The UK. At present, I do not suffer with depression, in the same way I did. The environmental changes, the change of lifestyle and the breathing exercises I take, work well. Most importantly, the people who caused my depression to get out of control, the ones that took advantage and the ones who were responsible for my relapse, are not around me. I have had many months to rebuild my life, in a way that does not involve, bad people.
Once I had made the choice to leave The UK, I spent the final period in Britain adjusting to my new, coming circumstances. The bulk of the hard work was done there: before even entering Spain. Back home, I was ill, more ill than I could ever remember. I was receiving advice from many different people, all the time. Official help, words of comfort from friends as well as destructive lies peddled by others. At the time, there was just too much fog in the way of the truth, so I was unable to tell the good from the bad. Now, finally settled in Gran Alacant, I can finally take a step back and decipher, what happened to me all those months ago, I keep my depression at bay and use my insomnia as time to think and reassess just what happened.
The fog has gradually cleared over time. Sat in my new home, without the haze of medication I was on, away from the smokescreen, that others put up, to prevent me seeing the truth, I have been able to finally come to the right conclusions. The answers you discover are not necessarily great for your state of wellbeing, but they are at least the correct words, the ones, others should have directed one to in the past. I am happier now, more than I have been for many years. I am sad my husband is not here with me, but I am glad I have been able to grapple with important issues, that had blighted me and my life for too long. Having solved many of them, learned to manage others and forget the rest, I can now try and get a grip on my insomnia.
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