Head of Human Resources!

It has been another difficult few days for me again, living in Spain. The bad weather and lack of money, has taken its toll. Spain can be a pretty bad place in the winter and somewhere I would advise everyone to avoid, without support and back up from those closest. Unless you are in the same position as myself and it has to be said, many others, who like me, have no access to employment or benefits, you will never really understand, just how difficult life is here.

This past month I have suffered from poor health.  Falling temperatures and damp accommodation has been responsible for more ailments than usual. Of course when one isn't working, one does tend to think about ones circumstances a lot more. I have most certainly had too much time on my hands.  Writing of course helps, keeps me occupied and my mind healthy.

I recently set up the 'Campaign to STOP Oxfam bullies' and have had some interesting responses from many different people; Oxfam employees, past and present; campaigners against bullying; as well as members of the public, who were shocked at what this charity were responsible for. Like my blog, it is important to get ones message across, to others who have no idea, just what happens behind closed doors, not only at Oxfam House, but also other charitable trusts.  For too long, the bullying culture, that is endemic in these organisations, have gone unchecked, people unwilling to speak out.  As someone who enjoys writing and has time at my disposal, I am more than willing to do my bit, to help protect others, who potentially could be victims, in a campaign of abuse, that Oxfam at least, deny is happening.

Bullying happens, at school, in the home and in the work place.  Whilst working for Oxfam, my Head of Human Resources, wrote a blog, about her experiences, with bullying and the challenges, she faced as an HR executive, dealing with this sensitive subject.   It was just a coincidence that I came across her web page 'HR without ticking boxes', whilst off work from Oxfam, after a  period of inactivity brought about by bullying in our region at work.  In fact I didn't even know it was my HR boss, until I had completely read the interesting posts.

When I discovered, the author of this blog, I was shocked and a little taken aback. This woman, was dealing with my case and that of many others in our small region of 22 Managers and in my view wasn't doing a great job.  My Area Manager was a bully and according to those in an official capacity a sociopath.  The mayhem she was causing across our area, the South West of England was well known. Many Managers had left, others were off sick and only a few stalwarts, those who didn't want to know the truth, stood by and watched, literally as Rome burned.  The debris left behind was unbelievable; yet no one seemed to want to confront the person responsible. Managers, as a rule do not sabotage their own regions, but that is exactly what was going on. At this point, I was not in situ, but had regular contact with others who were. I heard everyday, the damage being caused by an Area Manager, off the rails.  It was all very confusing and strange for me, as I had no idea, who or what she was.

When one has time off work, one does have an opportunity to read, research, speak to people and ask for advice.  Helplines, solicitors, colleagues and even those at Oxfam House, our Head Quarters, all said the same thing, informing me of who she really was; not easy to comprehend at the time!

I remember one frantic phone call with my Head of HR; I think it was on a Saturday morning. I had just received a phone call from the relief Manager, who was in charge whilst I was away, ill; she was distraught; Our Area Manager, had just come into the shop, where she was working at the time, with such forceful, disgusting, bullying and intimidating behaviour, that this person, a volunteer, who had taken on my role, had broken down and was in bits.

I picked up the telephone and phoned the Head of HR.  I was incandescent with rage. 'How could anyone, treat a person, let alone a vulnerable volunteer, in such a disgraceful way'.  This was systematic abuse at the highest level and nothing was being done about it. Our Area Manager was unhinged and causing maximum damage to anyone who she considered to be a threat.  My Head of HR, calmly asked me, what I thought was going on; so I told her and didn't hold back. After I had finished explaining my thoughts and feelings, I did think for a brief moment, what the hell have I just said, I really should not have told this person what I thought. There was a brief silence at the end of the phone; she was obviously thinking about an appropriate reply, without incriminating the charity, she worked for.

She didn't deny what I had conveyed to her.  She made it clear this was a confidential conversation and would go no further, accepting what I said, intimating she could not confirm or deny that this Area Manager was indeed a sociopath. I knew, by her tone, her choice of words and acceptance of my thoughts an opinions that I was correct. That was really the first time I had ever used the word sociopath, to describe my superior.

Myself and the Head of HR, had many more conversations, all of which were very open and I always felt able to tell her what I firmly believed,  She was a very approachable person, as most people in HR are, but there was something in the way she acted, that told me, she knew very well, what was going on in our region.

​The last time I saw the Head of HR, was on my last day at work. I had decided to quit my job at Oxfam, after returning to work briefly.  During the few weeks I was back in situ, the bullying against myself and others in my care started again.  Those responsible, were also the same people who attacked and threatened my partner, who was also an employee at Oxfam. When you are confronted, once again with the spectre of abuse, you do what any normal person does, you walk away; for me, that meant leaving for good!

The Head of HR arrived to speak to me, as part of her role in detailing the reasons for my departure.  She asked if I wanted to fill in the standard form, used under these circumstances, I said no, I wanted to speak frankly and truthfully, off the record.  We both sat down with a cup of tea and conversed very openly, about what had happened over the last year, that's how long this whole sorry saga had been going on for, officially anyway.  I refused to meet with my sociopathic boss, who should have been conducting this interview and let rip to my HR Head about what I believed to have transpired. We spoke about sociopathy, bullying, homophobia and everything inbetween. She looked aghast most of the time, at what I was saying.  She tended to go very red in the face, when confronted by the truth, so it was very noticeable when she felt uncomfortable. She understood exactly what had happened, even apologising for Oxfam for not doing enough to protect me and others.  Her final words were these;
'Even though you wont be here to see it, your actions will change Oxfam policy for good.  You have the privilege of knowing, you were loved, by all your staff, who never spoke an ill word against you.  You are one of the strongest people I know!'

Just words; when I needed action, help and guidance, I was given platitudes. Oxfam were never going to admit what my Manager was, at least not yet. Finally I said to the Head of HR, I will be back, when I am needed, to go to court and put this woman away. She thanked me, looked sad and wished me luck in Spain.

When the day comes. I will be standing at the front of the queue, watching this dreadful excuse for a human, being led away for crimes that she committed in the name of Oxfam.  Yes I am still suffering, the memories are still raw, but I am stronger than I have ever been, that is a dangerous thing for her!