Family!

I've been going through a lot of family photo's recently, trying to organise the many hundreds of digital copies I have collected over the years. I did spend an awful long time scanning in photographs and am happy to have some truly wonderful memories to cherish forever. When pictures are on on computer, they don't degrade or get lost. All of my data is backed up to hard drive and the cloud, so I am confident they are safe...fingers crossed.

Staying with family in Portsmouth is important to me because I am of course making new memories to add to my collection. I do have other family as well, those living just down the road in Fareham, who I also need to spend time with, before I once again go on my travels. Finding the time to see everyone is hard, especially now I am working, writing and volunteering so much and I do need to change that.

I am spending some valuable, quality time with my Fathers family, something I feel is important right now; these are special days in my life at a very traumatic time. My Cousin Rachel, who like me, isn't a very emotional person said how happy she was to have me here at the moment and I have to agree with her, I am grateful to be with my kin folk; I haven't spent such valuable family time in years.

Living with my Aunt is very different to my life with Darrell. In Spain, we were very much on our own as a couple and after speaking to him briefly tonight he is feeling lonely; for that reason it's time he left. We never really had the chance to bond with people in Spain; dealing with the ups and downs in our own life was the priority. We knew many people in Gran Alacant but they were just not close. As two gay man with little family contact, we had always regarded friendships as important. If companionship isn't there, then our lives are all the poorer for it.

Darrell constantly complains about how much he dislikes the UK, but the reality is, this is our home, it always was. Spain offered the chance of a new life, with hot sunshine and white sandy beaches, but it never really offered us the bonds and connections to people and places they we both needed to fully embrace our new path. Spain was indeed a very lonely place and I am glad I got out when I did. If I had stayed, I would have resented it even further.

Sadly we didn't have enough time to fully integrate with those that live there, had we done so, things may well have been very different. There are some fantastic characters living in Gran Alacant; we just didn't have the time to get to know them properly.

In the end I chose family over acquaintances, duty over adventure and stability over insecurity; maybe my days of travelling are well and truly over and I am happy to be finally living back home; maybe, just maybe it's time for me to settle down, after all it has been 47 years trying!